This year my family will not be having Christmas.
It has been a terrible few years for everyone in my family, myself included. Earlier this year my boyfriend who was quite abusive committed suicide. We had a daughter together who is now only 18 months old. Needless to say I was devastated but I won't go into too much detail about all of that.
Both of my mothers parents have also passed away in quick succession, very recently. My mother was incredibly close to them, as were myself and my sisters. They were like a second set of parents to us.
My whole family is grieving and in terribly low spirits because of this and some other factors also. If fact the things I have mentioned are just the tip of the iceberg of stuff that has happened to my family.
I suffer from depression and I suspect that a few of my family members do as well, particularly my mother who is always stressed out and angry.
I am only 22 years old. My 3 older sisters are also in their twenties and my younger sister is in her late teens. I am the only one of the siblings who lives at home with the parents as I have nowhere else to go with my daughter.
We always have a big family Christmas but this year my mother does not want to do Christmas at all because she is not in the mood and is grieving. This means no tree, no presents, no Christmas dinner etc. My older sisters all agree with her. My younger sister has not voice an opinion.
This might sound weird, but I am devastated by this! Christmas was the one thing I was looking forward to, the one thing that has been keeping me going through all the depression and problems I have been having.
Saying this makes it sound as if I don't care that all these people belong to me/ us have died. But I do care, very much. I am as devastated as everyone else, maybe even more so as I lost my boyfriend too. I think without Christmas, my family is just going to be sitting around the house wallowing in grief and depression for the holidays. I now feel as if I have nothing to keep me going at all. I hope I don't sound selfish, but I honestly feel as though I have nothing to look forward to and keep me going at all now.
How do I get over the no Christmas thing?