[boneyarsebogman]

Originally Posted by A0

Very close friendship? Are they married? Are you married? Similar age? It can work but to some extend. If both are single or in the OP case where you can feel something is going on it can be difficult to just stay friends though, and it's beyond the scope of the thread anyway...

Yes, we are very close friends and we can talk about pretty much everything. However, this isn't what the thread is about, so I won't talk anything more about it.

Going back on topic, like I said earlier, OP, just leave it.

[A0]

Originally Posted by boneyarsebogman

Yes, we are very close friends and we can talk about pretty much everything. However, this isn't what the thread is about, so I won't talk anything more about it.

Going back on topic, like I said earlier, OP, just leave it.

Thanks, all good, they are married and you are married so it's not surprising that it works well

Back to the OP, yes leave it, a "close frienship" won't work. Sounds weird to send a letter to build up a friendship...

[boneyarsebogman]

Originally Posted by A0

Thanks, all good, they are married and you are married so it's not surprising that it works well

Back to the OP, yes leave it, a "close frienship" won't work. Sounds weird to send a letter to build up a friendship...

Neither of us are married, just felt that I should clarify that.

But I agree, if she is a prominent figure, then it's likely that she receives many such letters so you'd be just another one in a pile. If it happens, it'll happen naturally without you forcing it.

[Meller]

I don't see the big issue about this. I don't see the logic behind 'friendships either happen organically or not at all' - that's simply just not true! Sometimes when you meet somebody, for example in a group, and you think you'd really get along with them, you have to push it a bit - not to a creepy extent, but you CAN make an effort to speak to them alone and get to know them. You can just hope to run into them or get talking at some other point, but you could easily miss out that way.

People pursue romantic relationships, why not friendships too? Sometimes you can just tell when you're going to get along well with someone.

I do think asking to meet her would make more sense than a letter though.

This attitude about 'natural friendships' is probably why so many people end up friends they have nothing in common with. You'd have to be very lucky to keep running into the friends who are right for you just by chance, without any effort on your part.

[Giles]

What's wrong with email?

[Vereena]

Originally Posted by zxcvbnm1

Would you put the same effort into a potential friendship with a male?

Would it make a difference had I been woman?

[tinkerbell]

Originally Posted by Vereena

Would it make a difference had I been woman?

No it would not. You need to stop this behaviour OP. It's bordering on stalkerish. You have only met her a few times. She is married, and I'm sure she, nor her husband would be impressed by getting letters from some guy looking for a "friendship".

[Ickle Magoo]

Originally Posted by Vereena

Would it make a difference had I been woman?

I think the point zxcvbnm1 was making is would you be posting here umming and ahing over writing a letter to try to befriend a bloke?

I've never had to write to someone to ask that they become my friend, nor have I been so detached from someone's actual life that I've ever considered writing to them to try to generate a friendship and I'd find both doing so or receiving a letter from someone in those circumstances distinctly odd.

That said, what have you got to loose? It's her decision if she wants to meet or be friends, or even reply. Write to her and if you get a reply take it from there, if you don't though - I'd advise you to draw a line under it and in future look for friendships with people whom you actually interact with and can ask in person if they want to meet for coffee or whatever...

All the best.