Originally Posted by smccarrick
First of all- there isn't any answer to your query- how long it takes soft tissue and nerve damage to heal. It varies greatly from person to person. You say your accident was several years ago- there are even at this stage different therapies that you may find of use to use. The sports centre at UCD have a number of facilities available to the public- including a tank which can assist in muscle and nerve development (just to warn you- it does take time- depending on the injury it can take months or even years to recover to an acceptable level- and in some cases it may never do).
Its not surprising that you feel totally depressed about your experience- but there are options open to you.
It is good that you have been in contact with your mortgage lender- you really need to contact MABS however. You may qualify for a social welfare payment designed to assist people who have fallen in arrears with their mortgage- you should contact the local Community Welfare Officer for details of this.
You haven't indicated what the outcome of the any claim arising from the accident may be/have been. Its possible that an assessment at the time may be revisited if its obvious an unduly optimistic forecast of recovery was relied on.
I know it can be very difficult to motivate yourself to chase leads- and disheartening when they don't pan out- the way I look at things is- if you don't ask, you certainly won't get it, if you do ask you probably won't- but every now and then, someone will surprise you with a yes. Its a policy I use in everyday life- it drives my wife insane- occasionally you will get positive results though........
You do sound as though it would be helpful for you to sit down and talk with someone at the moment. If you feel you can't unburden your mind on your wife or a close friend- have you considered calling the Samaritans? They are very good at listening, totally non-judgemental- and you will be very surprised at how simply sharing with another person can make accepting and dealing things easier for you. When you bottle things up inside- even the smaller things can become massive stumbling blocks. They are there and would be only too happy to listen.
Feel free to vent or use this thread to take soundings off people.
Thanks so much for the reply. That's the first I've heard about the facilities in UCD. It would be a bit of a trek but I'll definitely look into it.
I actually spent a long time seeing a Psychologist and it did help but the cost was just too much, we covered it out of savings for as long as we could but I had to give it up unfortunately. Our life savings are gone now from covering the mortgage etc for so long since I've been out of action. We're not spend thrifts by any means, Lidl all the way for us!
My OH is in full time employment and even though the earnings aren't enough to keep us afloat they are too high (ever so slightly) to qualify for any kind of assistance. It's a bit sickening to be honest. I looked at my last P60 I received and I paid over €50k in tax the last year I worked. I'd love to know where it went! The CWO locally can't do anything for us.
You're right about if you don't ask you don't get. I'm blue in the face asking everyone and anyone for assistance of any kind. I'm a bit snookered.
I've tried lots of different things down the years (3+ years only but it feels like a lifetime)
Acupuncture, physio, nerve blocks, medication (taking Neurontin and Lexapro and Tylex and others at the moment, side effects are awful)
I'm willing to try anything and I mean ANYTHING.
As for any kind of future settlement, I've put it out of my mind. This was supposed to be sorted within 6 months of crash, over 3+ years down the line nothing has happened. I could get a settlement of €1 million and it won't make a difference to me if I lose my lovely home that we built just for us, to our specification, in such a lovely location. It's irreplaceable to us if I'm honest. That's the most upsetting thing on top of all the physical (and mental) injuries.
I'm feeling quite sorry for myself (and my OH) at the moment. I could cry but I won't.
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I can see from your posts that you are a very understanding and caring man, and your wife is a lucky lady to have you.