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cancer

  • 22-12-2014 3:11am
    #1
    baz1992
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭


    ive just found out today that my mum has cancer today but she dosent know that i have found out, i havent told anyone and My family dont know i know. I think she wants me to have a nice christmas. Im not sure how serious it is but i read a text to my aunt asking her if anything happens will she watch out for me. ive had friends at college with parents having cancer but this is bowel cancer( i think) one minute im crying the next im watching tv feeling fine, i dont know weither to stay quiet and hope she has a normal christmas with me??


Comments

  • #2
    The Princess Bride
    Registered Users Posts: 18,579 ✭✭✭✭The Princess Bride


    Hi baz1992.

    I have to say, as a mother, if I had a cancer diagnosis, I too would want to hide it from my children for as long as possible, especially at this time of year. You might be an adult now, but you're still her child & she will always want to protect you.

    I'm not really sure what advice I'd give you.

    Generally speaking, the prognosis for bowel cancer is good, if diagnosis is made in early stages.
    Perhaps try to enjoy the next few days?

    But.
    If you don't feel this is possible, then tell her that you know & hopefully she'll feel ready to talk to you.(Or if you're close to your aunt, tell her that you know & see what her reaction is???)

    However, you need to know this.
    A diagnosis of Cancer, brings with it a lot of emotions.
    Fear of the unknown hitting you at 100kph - your mother might not be ready to deal with telling you- if it is still new to her- she might still be in shock.

    The support network is excellent in Ireland, please contact www.cancer.ie for further information.
    And your reaction is normal by the way, you're grieving- so is your mother.
    Best wishes, try to have a good week.One day at a time.


  • #3
    Gael23
    Registered Users Posts: 12,086 ✭✭✭✭Gael23


    All I can say is that you must try to keep positive. There are so many what if's and that on your, and her mind right now but you must try and look forward.
    I don't mean to come across as cold but what I'm saying is that theres every chance she's going to get through this and you and your family need to try and think that will be the case. Whatever happens though, theres a long tough road ahead for everyone.

    I know a lady that was diagnosed 9 weeks ago after suddenly becoming unwell. Thank god it was caught early and she's now on the slow road to recovery but shell get there.
    The last poster gave some good advice to but I just wanted to say you need to keep strong so you can support her when she needs you.


  • #4
    flutered
    Registered Users Posts: 6,664 ✭✭✭flutered


    you need to make sure that she becomes very singleminded as regards this, singleminded in that she singles out her treatment as a wayto get better, then when the rreatment is over that she ensures that she will be cured, if she has spoken with an oncologist she will have been told what the future holds


  • #5
    Condo131
    Registered Users Posts: 1,441 ✭✭✭Condo131


    Hi Baz,
    As Princess says, the Irish Cancer Society is a good place to start. The ICS has a confidential FREEFONE Helpline 1800 200 700. Unfortunately it's not open over the Holiday period. The offices open on Dec 29th. You, or your mother...or anyone else can talk, in confidence, to a specialist Cancer nurse. The nurse may also offer, if your mom wishes, to put her in touch with a trained peer-to-peer mentor, who has been through what your mother is facing.

    You'll find lots of booklets, including some on bowel Cancer, on the ICS website

    Besides the ICS there are lots of cancer support centres all around the country - a quick Google search should identify one near you.

    Finally, as princess says, the earlier the diagnosis, the likelier a good outcome. Many cancers, including bowel Cancer, are very very treatable. Cancer is scary sh*t, but there are lots of us around to tell the tale.

    This is a worrying time for you and your family, but there is a good deal of help available to help you through the coming months - please consider using it.


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