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What age were you adopted at?

2

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,332 ✭✭✭Mr Simpson


    I was with a foster family for 9 months. My parents met me first when I was 6 months old. Apparently my foster family were lovely, I have photos of me with them, so I have baby pics. My little brother, who was adopted from the same birth mother was with a foster family for 2 weeks. These were in 1990 and 1993.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭AshSmith


    One week before I turned 18! I had been living with my adoptive parents though since I was 2!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    I went to a childrens home when I was weeks old as social workers fought to have me and my siblings made wards of court...I was three when I was adopted.


  • Registered Users Posts: 785 ✭✭✭Stinjy


    Five and a half....


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,952 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    years?


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,278 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Moonbeam wrote: »
    years?

    I was wondering too! It would be very unusual for a child of 5 1/2 to be adopted- I guess 98% of all adoptions were placed at under 6 months

    Have to see what the latest report of the Adoption Authority has in it (very useful statistics section at the back of it normally)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 249 ✭✭OneIdea


    It was 9months for me, I must have been an ugly baby:)

    EDIT: Actually, come to think of it, I don't know just yet at what age I went in to the adoption system.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 947 ✭✭✭zef


    I was adopted at 6 months thru st Louise Adoption agency in nov 1970.
    I assume i lived at St. Patricks Home in Navan rd. before being adopted. I live close enough to where it was... weird its a big housing estate now.


  • Registered Users Posts: 785 ✭✭✭Stinjy


    Yup years, but I lived with my gran (bm's mum) and I know like all the circumstances etc, its nice knowing too as ive no anger or resentment towards her

    Also a side question if I may,
    Did all of you guys on here all know you were adopted or was it hidden untill you were adults?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9 johnny25clare


    Age seven for me I was the first child in Ireland to be legally adopted by their foster parents the application went in when I was a few days old took seven years to change the law also I had to be told at age seven because I had to go into the courts chambers and tell the judge I wanted to stay with my foster parents and that I way alright with changing my name etc


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 249 ✭✭OneIdea


    OneIdea wrote: »
    It was 9months for me, I must have been an ugly baby:)

    EDIT: Actually, come to think of it, I don't know just yet at what age I went in to the adoption system.
    UPDATE: I take it back... I was born 5th August 1970 and placed with my adoptive parents on the 14th September 1970, so I'll call that a month, give a few days here or there in Holles Street National Maternity Hospital. My adoption papers went through May 12th 1971.


  • Registered Users Posts: 21 emma11811


    zef wrote: »
    I was adopted at 6 months thru st Louise Adoption agency in nov 1970.
    I assume i lived at St. Patricks Home in Navan rd. before being adopted. I live close enough to where it was... weird its a big housing estate now.
    We must have been cot buddys I was there in 1970 aswell:p


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,730 ✭✭✭E39MSport


    Hi All.

    This is not something I talk about at all, anywhere.

    I've just stumbled across this forum and only last week also stumbled across my adoption certificate. I was surprised to see that the date on the form is 14 months after my DOB.

    Is that generally a good indicator of how long one might have been in the home or whatever it's called?

    I remember having a very strong habit of banging my head on my pillow in bed when going to sleep and off the back of couch etc. Must have had the habit for a while if I can remember doing it. I also remember the deep calming effect it had on me when I practiced it.

    Have a feeling I was on my own for a while maybe....

    Maybe just a conincidence.

    Re: tracing, had a letter a few years ago when the adoption thing hit the news the first time. I refused contact because I didn't want to upset my adoptive parents and find it hard to deal with life as it is without opening up whatever can of worms it might bring.

    Apparently, I had a half brother who dropped dead at 30 which has me worried.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 249 ✭✭OneIdea


    E39MSport wrote: »
    Hi All.

    I was surprised to see that the date on the form is 14 months after my DOB.

    Is that generally a good indicator of how long one might have been in the home or whatever it's called?

    As above I had previously written 9months, but later I found out that it can take a while for adoption papers to go through. There are many reasons for this I guess, a nice thought would be, maybe your BM needed more time before she made her final decision, but the chances are you where placed with a family within a month or two of your birth.

    When your ready to know your past, see the trace guide HERE at the very least follow step 1, obtaining your non-identifying information. You will know from that alone when you where placed.


  • Registered Users Posts: 210 ✭✭tyview


    The date on the adoption certificate isnt indicitive of when the adoption papers were signed by BMs as far as I can make out anyway. My BM signed the papers before I had even been placed with my adoptive parents. She had been told the agency had a couple chosen for me so she visited me in temple hill and made her way to the agency to sign the papers. She said she felt she couldnt have it hanging my parent so signed straight away. My cert shows the date 14 months later too


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 249 ✭✭OneIdea


    I wonder if 14months is the point of no return and possible some agency's held out before processing the papers?


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,763 ✭✭✭✭Crann na Beatha


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users Posts: 55 ✭✭mamafi


    My hubby was 1 month in hospital after he was born and then 10 weeks in St. Clares before his Mam and Dad got a call to come and ger him so he was about14 weeks old .


  • Registered Users Posts: 60 ✭✭diabeticmum


    My Husband was born on 21 oct, and they have told us he was in hospital til 13 dec and given to his adoptive parents on 15 dec according to social worker.


  • Registered Users Posts: 28 SuloBulo


    I hate those missing 3 months. I was born in early december... And it makes me sad that i wasnt with my mam and dad for my 1st christmas. thankfully ive spent every one since with my fantastic parents and the last two with my wonderful child.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,094 ✭✭✭The Cool


    Just for those of you who are feeling a bit negative about the time you spent at a home as a newborn, I can tell you a bit about what it would have been like as my mother worked at one for a few years.

    This was Nazareth House in Donegal. My mum worked there from the age of 18-21 ish, I think. This would have been late 80s.

    Babies went there until they were about 6-8 weeks. This was because, as somebody said on page 2, the birth mother had a right to reclaim their child until around then. After the baby was 6 or 8 weeks, the mother could still claim them back for some time (I'm sorry I can't remember how long) but I suppose with more difficulty. Also, i guess tiny newborns needed different kind of care than bigger children. If babies were not placed when they reached 6-8 weeks they went to a children's home in Derry and would have been placed from there.

    My mum and a few other girls worked shifts there but it was mostly nuns who were there all the time. She says that in a way it was sad seeing all those tiny babies that had been given up; because I was a baby around that time and i suppose she was imagining other girls who were very young mothers as well and had parted ways with their babies.

    She says that there may have been 10 babies there at a time on average, when she was there. They were always kept clean and cosy and well-fed, and there were always plenty of baby cuddles (the main reason my mum worked there I suspect!) Every baby was treated with care and love, and they (the staff) used to laugh about how at that small, they had their own little characters and everything. I guess what I mean is, no baby was ever treat as just something that needed to be looked after - they were all treated as their own little people with big futures and adventures ahead with families who would give them lots of love.

    Unfortunately due to the volume of newborns that would come and stay there, my mum did experience a few babies that suffered cot death. Mum found one such baby herself - a little boy she had been cuddling to sleep in the rocking chair and then put into his cot, and when she went in to the nursery 10 minutes later (the sleeping babies were checked every 10 mins) he had passed away. It was a very sad experience and she didn't go back to work for a while after that.

    I don't know if this will serve any purpose for any of ye but I just get the feeling that some of you may think of that unaccounted time as just lying in a cot for a few weeks somewhere, and I wanted to share my mum's story and let you know that it wasn't like that. From what she experienced, all babies spent that in-between period in a loving cared-for atmosphere.


  • Registered Users Posts: 17 viewpoint


    Your piece is very moving and hope it gives a fuller picture.
    I believe that anyone who can contribute to filling in gaps in information for those who were cared for in infant homes and hospitals should not hesitate to provide this information. I believe this very strongly, my sister, RIP, cared enough to keep very special mementos from those children she cared for and loved in St. Patrick's Infant Hospital, Blackrock.
    They did not see this as just a job - even though she was young she cared so much.
    I really want to return her notes, photos and wrist band and cot tags back to their owners. I want to help in any way I can to move this forward and to encourage other nurses and care workers to do likewise and to tell the story.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27 lovechips


    The Cool wrote: »
    Just for those of you who are feeling a bit negative about the time you spent at a home as a newborn, I can tell you a bit about what it would have been like as my mother worked at one for a few years.

    This was Nazareth House in Donegal. My mum worked there from the age of 18-21 ish, I think. This would have been late 80s.

    Babies went there until they were about 6-8 weeks. This was because, as somebody said on page 2, the birth mother had a right to reclaim their child until around then. After the baby was 6 or 8 weeks, the mother could still claim them back for some time (I'm sorry I can't remember how long) but I suppose with more difficulty. Also, i guess tiny newborns needed different kind of care than bigger children. If babies were not placed when they reached 6-8 weeks they went to a children's home in Derry and would have been placed from there.

    My mum and a few other girls worked shifts there but it was mostly nuns who were there all the time. She says that in a way it was sad seeing all those tiny babies that had been given up; because I was a baby around that time and i suppose she was imagining other girls who were very young mothers as well and had parted ways with their babies.

    She says that there may have been 10 babies there at a time on average, when she was there. They were always kept clean and cosy and well-fed, and there were always plenty of baby cuddles (the main reason my mum worked there I suspect!) Every baby was treated with care and love, and they (the staff) used to laugh about how at that small, they had their own little characters and everything. I guess what I mean is, no baby was ever treat as just something that needed to be looked after - they were all treated as their own little people with big futures and adventures ahead with families who would give them lots of love.

    Unfortunately due to the volume of newborns that would come and stay there, my mum did experience a few babies that suffered cot death. Mum found one such baby herself - a little boy she had been cuddling to sleep in the rocking chair and then put into his cot, and when she went in to the nursery 10 minutes later (the sleeping babies were checked every 10 mins) he had passed away. It was a very sad experience and she didn't go back to work for a while after that.

    I don't know if this will serve any purpose for any of ye but I just get the feeling that some of you may think of that unaccounted time as just lying in a cot for a few weeks somewhere, and I wanted to share my mum's story and let you know that it wasn't like that. From what she experienced, all babies spent that in-between period in a loving cared-for atmosphere.

    I worked in the Nazereth House in Fahan in the eighties. Wonder do I know your mother. Yes it was a very loving home probably because there were only a handful of babies there at a time.The local community took the place to their hearts and maybe 30 local families adopted from there . uniquely every child knew they were adopted and there was never an issue with that anywhere. Some local teenager volunteers would come in to help care for the babies and to play with them. Only qualified nurses worked full time which gave them the best of both worlds. The volunteers would be fighting to get their turn to mind the babies as no one wanted them to feel unloved.


  • Registered Users Posts: 16 whitemoon


    viewpoint wrote: »
    Your piece is very moving and hope it gives a fuller picture.
    I believe that anyone who can contribute to filling in gaps in information for those who were cared for in infant homes and hospitals should not hesitate to provide this information. I believe this very strongly, my sister, RIP, cared enough to keep very special mementos from those children she cared for and loved in St. Patrick's Infant Hospital, Blackrock.
    They did not see this as just a job - even though she was young she cared so much.
    I really want to return her notes, photos and wrist band and cot tags back to their owners. I want to help in any way I can to move this forward and to encourage other nurses and care workers to do likewise and to tell the story.

    Hi Viewpoint, my hubby was in St Patricks, Templehill Blackrock from 1967 till 1970 and we know nothing of his time there. I think it is a lovely gesture on your part to do what you are doing in memory of your late sister, RIP. When did your sister work there?


  • Registered Users Posts: 17 viewpoint


    Hello Whitemoon, thanks for your reply. My sister was there from 1981-1983. A bit later than your husband's time in Templehill. There should be people around who worked there at that time.
    People should help if they have any information to contribute to people who want this information. I think the Sisters of Charity must have information and photos etc. which might be interesting if you contact them directly. They have some historic information on the order and their work in their centre in St. Joseph's, Harolds Cross, (beside Hospice).
    hope you get some help.


  • Registered Users Posts: 34 opawaman


    How do i find out if my adoption was illegal, is there an organisation that can assist.
    Was not officially adopted until i was sixteen. My birthmother was not asked even asked or informed though i had been fostered out from birth. Traced my Birthmother when she 82 and dying of cancer so i did not ask too many questions. Now my friends say my adoption may have been illegal.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,635 ✭✭✭TylerIE


    opawaman wrote: »
    How do i find out if my adoption was illegal, is there an organisation that can assist.
    Was not officially adopted until i was sixteen. My birthmother was not asked even asked or informed though i had been fostered out from birth. Traced my Birthmother when she 82 and dying of cancer so i did not ask too many questions. Now my friends say my adoption may have been illegal.


    Others may have a better idea but Barnados post adoption service may guide you in the right direction:
    http://www.barnardos.ie/what-we-do/specialist-services/adoption.html


  • Registered Users Posts: 13 freeicetea


    I was 6 weeks old at adoption through Cunamh. I was in the mother and baby home with my birth mother (well kept downstairs away from her) for the first 6 day or so of my life. Then she was told she had to move on and leave me there. My adoptive parents were handed me at 6 weeks. So for 5 and a half weeks of my life I was in a foster carers. I have always wondered about this time of my life as it must have been traumatic for me. I arrived to my birth parents in a bad way. I had awful nappy rash all over my legs and back and could not be held for my first few months as I shook when i was touched. I have asked my agency and they have logged a report (obviously not much will come of this)


  • Registered Users Posts: 28 Nicola20


    Moonbeam wrote: »
    I was wondering where the 1st 3 months of my life went.
    I wasn't given to my parents until I was 3 months old and they got me from think it was Haddington road (I forget but it was around there).
    I was adopted through St Patricks guild and Sr Gabriel.
    Other people were adopted at a few days old so I am wondering does anyone have any idea why I would have been 3 months old?
    I really need to start an official search.
    Why am I wondering this now? My 2nd daughter is now 3 months old and I could not imagine her with out a mammy to love her and mind her.
    Hey Moonbeam,
    I was also adopted from St Patricks Guild, through Sr.Gabriel, in 1992. I think maybe a possibility is that you were fostered. I was also send to my adoptive family at 3 months, I was fostered in Bray for three months after I was born. Is that a possibility?

    Hope I helped!


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 32,278 Mod ✭✭✭✭The_Conductor


    Its very possible- I'm personally aware of a family in Celbridge who by their own reckoning fostered over 80 new born and young children prior to adoption. They only stopped when they felt they were getting too old and didn't have the energy to care for young children. Its quite possible. There were families, often with children of their own, who helped out like this- often over the course of several decades. Its definitely a line of enquiry worth pursuing.


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