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The worst punishment imposed by your parents

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  • #392
    Milk & Honey
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,950 ✭✭✭Milk & Honey


    Giselle wrote: »
    This shows that your abuse - there is NO other word for it - did nothing to develop compassion or empathy in you.

    People don't whinge over a documentary, they become outraged at the human stories told in it, and furious at child abusers like yours not only escaping the legal consequences of their actions, but having their actions justified by their damaged victims.

    People knew what was going on in the orphanages, the laundries and all the rest of it. There was severe corporal punishment in diocesan colleges, seminaries and ordinary secondary and primary schools so why would the orphanages be any different. There was even corporal punishment in childrens hospitals. Orphans could be seen by many outsiders. They did not exactly look the picture of blooming health and nobody imagined that the regime inside the institution was any better than the schools.
    People are outraged because of their own shame at having allowed it to go on.


  • #393
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Milk & Honey wrote: »
    People knew what was going on in the orphanages, the laundries and all the rest of it. There was severe corporal punishment in diocesan colleges, seminaries and ordinary secondary and primary schools so why would the orphanages be any different. There was even corporal punishment in childrens hospitals. Orphans could be seen by many outsiders. They did not exactly look the picture of blooming health and nobody imagined that the regime inside the institution was any better than the schools.
    People are outraged because of their own shame at having allowed it to go on.
    Vast majority on Boards weren't even alive so why would we feel shame? Those who should feel shame are primarily those who abused, then those who allowed it yet had the power to stop it.

    Ordinary people hardly had much of s voice - look at what they were up against. That's not to say there weren't those who tried, but they only got so far. Then there were people who were brainwashed into believing the church couldn't possibly do wrong...

    The outrage here is over the grotesqueness of the abuse.


  • #394
    neil_hosey
    Registered Users Posts: 1,712 ✭✭✭neil_hosey


    i was going to post something whitty about my parents revoking my classical organ lessons for 2 weeks.. but this thread has unfortunately gotten very serious. :( why do the good ones always get overrun with **** talk


  • #395
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Yeah, **** talk - that's all it is...

    It started off serious to be fair - maybe start a light-hearted parental punishment thread?


  • #396
    Milk & Honey
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,950 ✭✭✭Milk & Honey


    Dudess wrote: »
    Yeah, **** talk - that's all it is...

    It started off serious to be fair - maybe start a light-hearted parental punishment thread?

    This thread is supposed to be about punishment inflicted by parents. There have been lengthy passages of punishments imposed by teachers etc.
    Moreover, there have been stories about abuse and not punishment. It is hard to draw the line but a punishment is a definite consequence for committing a defined offence. Abuse is a continual series of ill usages for reasons more connected with loss of temper and venting frustration. I think Mouldy mary is mostly describing punishment although the worst one is very much in the abuse category, it seems to be a once off.


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  • #397
    watna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    Jesus - this thread is horrific. I can't believe so many posters have stories about being beaten and how sadistic some of the punishments were. Even the emotional abuse is upsetting to read. My parents sent me to my room a few times or my brother once wasn't allowed to watch his favourite TV programme for a few weeks. That's it though - I guess I don't think much about how luck we were and are but this thread has definitely reminded me!


  • #398
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,026 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    neil_hosey wrote: »
    i was going to post something whitty about my parents revoking my classical organ lessons for 2 weeks.. but this thread has unfortunately gotten very serious. :( why do the good ones always get overrun with **** talk

    It's a bizarre mix of 'they took my playstation for an hour' and 'I was ritually abused throughout my childhood by sadists' with very little middle ground.


  • #399
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Dudess wrote: »
    Yeah, **** talk - that's all it is...

    It started off serious to be fair - maybe start a light-hearted parental punishment thread?

    In fairness I don't think anyone was expecting all this abuse & torture

    A few more light hearted stories in here would be welcome


  • #400
    Overature
    Registered Users Posts: 908 ✭✭✭Overature


    Had to sleep under the stairs till i was 11, then i went to boarding school


  • #401
    Giselle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,540 ✭✭✭Giselle


    Milk & Honey wrote: »
    People are outraged because of their own shame at having allowed it to go on.

    I don't feel any shame at something I had no knowledge and no part of.

    I'm outraged it happened, I'm outraged the general population were so in thrall to the clergy and authority that they never questioned the use of power, and I'm outraged the perpetrators of the very worst abuses of trust, the people children were believed to be safe with, committed criminal acts of violence on the most vulnerable people in society, and that nobody believed the victims.

    And I don't believe for a minute that if people were fully aware of the extent of the abuse that they would have 'allowed' it to continue. Theres a huge difference between a people being effectively completely disempowered to intervene, and them choosing not to.


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  • #402
    cynder
    Registered Users Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭cynder


    Overature wrote: »
    Had to sleep under the stairs till i was 11, then i went to boarding school
    Harry?


    Harry potter is that you?


  • #403
    Mouldy Mary
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Mouldy Mary


    Giselle wrote: »
    [

    And I don't believe for a minute that if people were fully aware of the extent of the abuse that they would have 'allowed' it to continue. Theres a huge difference between a people being effectively completely disempowered to intervene, and them choosing not to.
    My mother and father knew well what was going on in orphanage. We used to get girls working for us in the shop on release from the orphanage. At that time if a parent was not keeping proper control of a child the child would be sent to the orphanage. My mother and father did not want us going in to the orphanage. If anything happened outside the house it would lead to a beating on the bare behind. It was the same in most families that I knew. A common punishment was tbe "farmyard gate". My mother didn't do it because it could leave a scar on the behind.


  • #404
    bath handle
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 370 ✭✭bath handle


    Mouldy Mary wrote: »
    Giselle wrote: »
    [

    And I don't believe for a minute that if people were fully aware of the extent of the abuse that they would have 'allowed' it to continue. Theres a huge difference between a people being effectively completely disempowered to intervene, and them choosing not to.
    My mother and father knew well what was going on in orphanage. We used to get girls working for us in the shop on release from the orphanage. At that time if a parent was not keeping proper control of a child the child would be sent to the orphanage. My mother and father did not want us going in to the orphanage. If anything happened outside the house it would lead to a beating on the bare behind. It was the same in most families that I knew. A common punishment was tbe "farmyard gate". My mother didn't do it because it could leave a scar on the behind.
    Ok. So what's a farmyard gate?


  • #405
    lividduck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,250 ✭✭✭lividduck


    bath handle wrote: »
    Ok. So what's a farmyard gate?
    A diagonal cane stroke given across the parallel cane strokes already delivered, it was severe and very painful.


  • #406
    kneeler
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 38 ✭kneeler


    Mouldy Mary wrote: »
    It was nothing like that. My mother got a report from the nuns that I had been seen talking to a boy from the Brothers school outside of the convent where I was going to school. My mother took me up to the bedroom and told me to remove my drawers so she could beat my behind with a cane. I refused as I hadn't been beaten on my behind since I was much younger. She told me a second time and I again refused. She called my father up from the yard and told him that I was defying her by refusing to remove my drawers. He grabbed me and threw me face down on the bed. He put my mother sitting on one of my arms. He then took off my shoes and socks and tied my feet to the top of the metal frame at the end of the bed. He looked at the cane my mother was going to use and said "too thick". He went off and came back after a few minutes. He started beating my bare feet and shouting "now will you remove your drawers". My mother was saying " Good man Jack" every time he struck a blow with the thin rod. I was screaming and trying to reach my drawers with my free hand but it was no good because I still had my pinafore on. My brothers and sisters could hear all the shouting and screaming and thought our mother and father had gone mad. In our house my father punished my brothers and my mother punished us. My mother nearly always beat us on the hands with a cane like at school. My father used a studded belt or sometimes a stick to wallop my brothers so beating the feet was very unusual. I don't think my parents meant it to be as severe as it was. They never did it again.


    That was a very severe punishment. My parents never beat us on the hands or feet. It was always on the bare bottom. I would never have dared to defy my mother. She always announced at the start how many spanks were to be given. If there was any delay the punishment would be increased. You had 15 seconds to get into position once you were told to go over the scroll of the couch. that meant getting skirts up and knickers down rapidly without time to worry about the embarrassment or pain. Most parents that time would have dealt severely with defiance. They would think they had failed as parents if their children didn't obey them.


  • #407
    bath handle
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 370 ✭✭bath handle


    lividduck wrote: »
    bath handle wrote: »
    Ok. So what's a farmyard gate?
    A diagonal cane stroke given across the parallel cane strokes already delivered, it was severe and very painful.
    Wouldn't that be likely to break the skin?


  • #408
    lividduck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,250 ✭✭✭lividduck


    bath handle wrote: »
    Wouldn't that be likely to break the skin?
    Yes. It was very severe and very painful.


  • #409
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,026 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    kneeler wrote: »
    That was a very severe punishment. My parents never beat us on the hands or feet. It was always on the bare bottom. I would never have dared to defy my mother. She always announced at the start how many spanks were to be given. If there was any delay the punishment would be increased. You had 15 seconds to get into position once you were told to go over the scroll of the couch. that meant getting skirts up and knickers down rapidly without time to worry about the embarrassment or pain. Most parents that time would have dealt severely with defiance. They would think they had failed as parents if their children didn't obey them.

    The more I read of this the more it sounds like a North Korea-style brainwashing.


  • #410
    Mouldy Mary
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 58 ✭✭Mouldy Mary


    kneeler wrote: »


    That was a very severe punishment. My parents never beat us on the hands or feet. It was always on the bare bottom. I would never have dared to defy my mother. She always announced at the start how many spanks were to be given. If there was any delay the punishment would be increased. You had 15 seconds to get into position once you were told to go over the scroll of the couch. that meant getting skirts up and knickers down rapidly without time to worry about the embarrassment or pain. Most parents that time would have dealt severely with defiance. They would think they had failed as parents if their children didn't obey them.
    I didn't really intend to be defiant. I was stunned when I was told to remove my drawers. I hadn't been beaten on the behind for a long time before that. I thought I had grown out of it. I thought that when I protested she would have given in and just told me to put out my hand. Caning on the hands was the usual punishment in our house. I didn't expect her to call in my father and that they would give me such a whipping. I never defied my mother again. I just accepted the cane on my bare behind and just hoped the pain and shame wouldn't last too long.
    The farmyard gate would nearly always break the skin, particularly if the caning was bein administered by a big strong farmer. There would often be a permanent mark. Sometimes it would be a double gate. Five across and one diagonal, followed by the same again.


  • #411
    Milk & Honey
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,950 ✭✭✭Milk & Honey


    pickarooney wrote: »
    The more I read of this the more it sounds like a North Korea-style brainwashing.

    I blame the parents!


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  • #412
    bath handle
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 370 ✭✭bath handle


    Mouldy Mary wrote: »
    kneeler wrote: »

    Tha
    The farmyard gate would nearly always break the skin, particularly if the caning was bein administered by a big strong farmer. There would often be a permanent mark. Sometimes it would be a double gate. Five across and one diagonal, followed by the same again.
    That is just savage. How could any teenager have done anything bad enough to deserve that.


  • #413
    kneeler
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 38 ✭kneeler


    bath handle wrote: »
    Mouldy Mary wrote: »
    That is just savage. How could any teenager have done anything bad enough to deserve that.

    It was often done for coming home late at night, smoking, drinking behaving boisterously and being seen with boys. What was worse was the "sign of the cross". Two diagonal strokes in an X at the end of a series of parallel strokes. I never went to dances till I was 21 because I was too afraid of coming home late or being reported for doing something wrong.


  • #414
    bath handle
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 370 ✭✭bath handle


    kneeler wrote: »
    bath handle wrote: »
    Mouldy Mary wrote: »
    That is just savage. How could any teenager have done anything bad enough to deserve that.

    It was often done for coming home late at night, smoking, drinking behaving boisterously and being seen with boys. What was worse was the "sign of the cross". Two diagonal strokes in an X at the end of a series of parallel strokes. I never went to dances till I was 21 because I was too afraid of coming home late or being reported for doing something wrong.
    so for an absolutely trivial reason a person would have their bum made look like a raw hamburger ?


  • #415
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    My mother was a very abusive women. I just think she wasn't cut out to have kids but did and took her anger out on us. We all suffered but I can remember getting ten stitches in my head when she pushed me into a table, she took medication from me and destroyed it, she would hit us with rolling pins. Her best work though she saved for when I was 12 when she had our dog put down. I wish I could cut her out of my life but I find it hard despite all she has done but she is still able to make me feel like a small terrified kid to this day.


  • #416
    mummymoo
    Registered Users Posts: 99 ✭✭mummymoo


    i never got punished as a child :/ i dont think they even realised i existed until i was a teen, and even then it was 'wait till i tell your father about this' then nothing is ever said! sure no wonder i turned out the way i did :L


  • #417
    Jo King
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,139 ✭✭✭Jo King


    pickarooney wrote: »
    The more I read of this the more it sounds like a North Korea-style brainwashing.

    I don't think it is as bad as North Korea.


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