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How do Nurses deal with patient's erections?

  • 22-10-2010 9:29pm
    #1
    Quandary
    Registered Users Posts: 5,290 ✭✭✭


    Well AH,

    Like the title says, what do nurses/doctors do when patients get a boner during bathing/examinations etc...?

    I came across (pun-5 :)) a post on the site www.healthcaremagic.com by this guy who had an unfortunate incident

    And i quote...

    "help. I just had a physical exam and i new from the begining that i was going to get an erection but tried my best to fight it and failed. (and this is all while the nurse is prepping me before the doctor came in). When the doctor came in and checked my penis and testicles i went to full mass. I was so embarrassed but then when i had the prostate exam i ejaculated all over the counter i was bending over. Needless to say i can never show my face in there again. Has this ever happened to anyone? Soon as i felt that "feeling" that i was close, i tried my best to think of just about anything that would prevent me from exploding but when i clamped down on my sphincter, it made things worse and i shot my load off. I was so embarrassed that i could barely breath. -and i clamped down while his fingers were in me, which resulted in a very forceful pressure against my prostate and you can figure out what happened then"

    He doesn't exactly say what the doctor/nurse did or said after it happened but my god, can you just imagine the humiliation........ and the hilarity :) ?

    I read this 20 minutes ago and im still laughing.

    Seriously though, what do doctors/nurses do to try and prevent this happening, im genuinely intrigued!

    Any nurses/doctors out there who have an answer to this?


«13

Comments

  • #2
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    The suck them off.


  • #3
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Quandary wrote: »
    Well AH,

    Like the title says, what do nurses/doctors do when patients get a boner during bathing/examinations etc...?

    That is indeed a quandary.


  • #4
    kfallon
    Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Get the spoon out and tap them like a hard boiled egg :p


  • #5
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    The suck them off.

    If the internet has taught me anything, it is this.
    They often call a second nurse in to help.


  • #6
    veryangryman
    Registered Users Posts: 5,528 ✭✭✭veryangryman


    They just act natural and later tell their partner all about it later in the "how was work hun" conversation


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  • #7
    Dr. No
    Closed Accounts Posts: 113 ✭✭Dr. No


    Thankfully I have never come across a patient with a boner.


  • #8
    Jaxxy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,297 ✭✭✭Jaxxy


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    The suck them off.

    I have a few nurse friends and you'd be surprised at how many people actually think it is part of their duties to "relieve" a patient when they get a hard on. :pac:


  • #9
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    Dr. No wrote: »
    Thankfully I have never come across a patient with a boner.

    In the business, he's known as Dr.No Boners.


  • #10
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    JaxxYChicK wrote: »
    I have a few nurse friends and you'd be surprised at how many people actually think it is part of their duties to "relieve" a patient when they get a hard on. :pac:

    You mean, it's not? :confused:


  • #11
    alwaysadub
    Registered Users Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    Dr. No wrote: »
    Thankfully I have never come across a patient with a boner.

    But have they come across,or in front of, you?


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  • #12
    Jaxxy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,297 ✭✭✭Jaxxy


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    You mean, it's not? :confused:

    No. :(

    Don't throw yourself down those stairs starbelgrade, it's just not worth it now.


  • #13
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    JaxxYChicK wrote: »
    No. :(

    Don't throw yourself down those stairs starbelgrade, it's just not worth it now.


    *crawls back upstairs, leg in hand*


  • #14
    Duggy747
    Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Well if pornos have taught me anything about life (and they have) is that the nurse would probably look shocked before horsing it down her throat while furiously masturbating.

    Then, presumably, she'd break out the enema kit and 4 gallons of milk. :(


  • #15
    battries not included
    Registered Users Posts: 734 ✭✭✭battries not included


    i broke both my arms on purpose to see if the nurse would 'help me out' when i got a stiffy..........















    i found out alright, a filipino male nurse 'helped me out' :(


  • #16
    Jaxxy
    Registered Users Posts: 4,297 ✭✭✭Jaxxy


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    *crawls back upstairs to the missus, third leg in hand*

    FYP.


  • #17
    pebbles21
    Registered Users Posts: 1,817 ✭✭✭pebbles21


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    The suck them off.


    Only if your in the VHI ;)


  • #18
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 14,715 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    The suck them off.
    The-Rigger wrote: »
    If the internet has taught me anything, it is this.
    They often call a second nurse in to help.

    And people have the nerve to criticise the HSE.

    *shakes head*


  • #19
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    pebbles21 wrote: »
    Only if your in the VHI ;)

    Very Handy Indeed


  • #20
    Quandary
    Registered Users Posts: 5,290 ✭✭✭Quandary


    OP here - cheers for the jokes folks :)

    So has this genuinely ever happened to anyone ye know? Doctor/Nurse or patient?


  • #21
    galwayrush
    Registered Users Posts: 12,815 ✭✭✭✭galwayrush


    kfallon wrote: »
    Get the spoon out and tap them like a hard boiled egg :p

    That is true........cough........:o


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  • #22
    audi4444
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 37 ✭audi4444


    just think of brian cowen:D


  • #23
    Son Of A Vidic
    Registered Users Posts: 32,370 ✭✭✭✭Son Of A Vidic


    Leave the fantasies where they belong - in your head OP.


  • #24
    Dr. No
    Closed Accounts Posts: 113 ✭✭Dr. No


    Quandary wrote: »
    OP here - cheers for the jokes folks :)

    So has this genuinely ever happened to anyone ye know? Doctor/Nurse or patient?
    Most of my female work colleagues have experienced it at some point. Nothing to get excited over really


  • #25
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    audi4444 wrote: »
    just think of brian cowen:D


    What if that was the cause of the boner?


  • #26
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,920 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    They flick the guys balls to make him lose the erection. I saw it on the internets


  • #27
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    It was quite common in hospitals for the porters ( pre-op ) to be called upon to shave the male patients down there so unintended erections were usually in the minority .


  • #28
    SeaFields
    Registered Users Posts: 6,551 ✭✭✭SeaFields


    Remember those stiffy's you'd get in school. Staring at a hot teachers arse all class. I bet she knew too. Ah the memories.

    /wipes tear


  • #29
    michael999999
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,771 ✭✭✭michael999999


    they shave off a patch of hair and prod it with a stun gun!!!


  • #30
    erogonamalu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24 ✭erogonamalu


    Dr. No wrote: »
    Most of my female work colleagues have experienced it at some point. Nothing to get excited over really

    sheet its gone unisex now darn


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  • #31
    winston82
    Registered Users Posts: 1,051 ✭✭✭winston82


    SeaFields wrote: »
    Remember those stiffy's you'd get in school. Staring at a hot teachers arse all class. I bet she knew too. Ah the memories.

    /wipes tear

    Oh, the mammaries...

    /gets tissues


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