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Clubs/bar for Threesome and advice!

  • 20-02-2010 2:09am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My girlfriend and I, both early 20's, are interested in having a threesome with another girl of a similar age. Thing is neither of us have a clue of where to begin. We're not really keen on the internet thing rather go out and meet someone nice, enjoy a few drinks with them etc. the thrill of the chase so to speak.

    Can anyone tell me of any good places in Dublin where it might be easier to find a willing person. Some good nightclubs etc. where we wouldn't have to feel too self conscious about chatting up a girl or places that have a relaxed attitude to that type of scene.

    We are totally new to all of this so any tips or advise would be great.

    Also we have discussed the implications of a threesome and we are both mature enough to be sensible about this so please no preaching.

    Thank you!


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    The crowd at Copper Face Jacks on Harcourt Street should have enough of an open mind to an idea like that.

    If you are not opposed to paying for it, then hiring an escort might be an option as well. Typing the words "escort" and "ireland" into Google should get you started. An escort recently told me that her fantasy is having a threesome and that if I bring along my girlfriend she would join us for free.

    Another option might be adultfriendfinder.com.


  • Registered Users Posts: 138 ✭✭sKepTics_George


    You guy's fuc*king rock,
    We need more people like you,
    Sorry i don't have a clue where to find your desired female friend.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Off-topic and unhelpful advice can earn you a ban from this forum.


    Please read the charter before posting.

    Thank you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Good shout with Copper Face Jacks. It really is a meat market full of, eh, loose women shall we say.

    Just one word of advice. Have a good hard think about picking someone up for this kind of thing. I hate to sound overly preachy but have think about this one.

    If you pick up someone in a bar that is willing to sleep with you and your girlfriend that very night think about this.

    What random stranger did they jump into the sack with the night before and the night before that.
    And who were those randoms strangers sleeping with the night before that and the week before.
    I could go on but you get the idea

    STI's are spiralling out of control for reasons such as this. Everyone thinks wearing a condom is enough. However, they never think about wearing a dental dam when performing oral sex on a woman. You're going to come in contact with vaginal fluid if you do that and you can pick up and infection just as easy in that case.

    Its a nice fantasy to pick up someone for a threesome but be sure never to compromise you or your partners sexual health.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the advice yeah I was thinking coppers myself have heard many stories lol but just thought people might know some unofficial places where people with similar ideas might frequent.

    As regards the escort.... we want to find a girl who is actually interested in doing it rather than just because she's getting paid but thanks for that. I also appreciate the comment about the STI's fair point. Will make sure to take the necessary extra precautions.

    Have also heard of a place called the Front Lounge anyone know anything about that?

    Thanks for the input so far.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 271 ✭✭AvaKinder


    the front lounge is mainly an LGBTQ bar. I'm not sure what kind of reception you'd get there. try asking in the LGBTQ forum maybe?
    I really think internet is your best bet. lots of adds on gaire


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    The Internet is the way to go. You're inviting a stranger into your bed for an act that could possibly affect your future relationship with your gf.

    You need to know they're clean, sane, discreet, responsible, and that they understand the ground rules that you've set between you and your gf.

    Picking up some drunken girl in a bar is a recipe for disaster tbh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    Thanks for the advice yeah I was thinking coppers myself have heard many stories lol but just thought people might know some unofficial places where people with similar ideas might frequent.

    As regards the escort.... we want to find a girl who is actually interested in doing it rather than just because she's getting paid but thanks for that. I also appreciate the comment about the STI's fair point. Will make sure to take the necessary extra precautions.

    Have also heard of a place called the Front Lounge anyone know anything about that?

    Thanks for the input so far.

    The Front Lounge is a gay bar. Knowing a few girls who frequent there I don't think they'd be happy being propositioned in one of the few bars that are gay friendly. Being a lesbian doesnt equate to loose sexual 'morals' or being so desperate you have to hump every girl you see.

    Copper Face Jacks also is a woeful suggestion. It is full of good 'catholic' types from the country,I cant imagine anyone there saying yes to a threesome.

    I would try personal adverts in Hot press, hotornot.com or some other type of online site If I were you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Good point about the gay bar I certainly didn't just assume that lesbians would be up for it (but in fairness my girlfriend is gorgeous so they may make an exception :) )

    I didn't know Front Lounge was a Gay bar so will be staying clear from there!

    It does appear that the net is my only option unfortunately but it makes sense. I thought going out and chatting up a girl would be fun but looking at the downsides to this....

    Boards to the rescue again!

    Thanks lads and lassies


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Um, why are we talking about loose sexual morals? Having a threesome makes you neither desperate nor morally loose.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Um, why are we talking about loose sexual morals? Having a threesome makes you neither desperate nor morally loose.

    No I know it doesnt, I think if both partys are are up for it then theres nothing wrong with it. I appreciate my post did come across like that but what I meant was asking strangers in gay bars for threesomes does sound a bit 'tacky', especially considering there is a heterosexual cople involved.

    The minute someone mentions heterosexual couples having threeesomes the idea of gays bars is touted.Just because someone may be bi or gay doesnt mean they want to have sex with a straight couple.From what I hear from my gay friends it seems a pretty common thing for them to be propostioned for threesomes in bars which are gay friendly. Its not really fair to the gay community tbh,Id be pretty pissed of if someone was propositoning me for threesomes all the time when its not something I would personally be in to.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    You could try dublin swinging clubs or something like that, though they might be more oriented to straight up swapping.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    panda100 wrote: »
    .
    Copper Face Jacks also is a woeful suggestion. It is full of good 'catholic' types from the country,I cant imagine anyone there saying yes to a threesome.

    Are you joking me or what! Coppers on a weekend is full of ladies (and lads too but its not a lad they are after) who are good to go. Not saying they are all good to go for a threesome but its certainly got some of the best prospects of anywhere I can think of. Put it this way, even for a less than spectacular looking lad or lady, it would be nigh on impossible not to pick someone up in there if you wanted to. It is an out and out meat market.

    A swingers website sounds the way to go IMO. I'd say its a lot safer and cleaner than picking someone up anyway. I'd say people who engage in that kind of lifestyle 'seriously' (if thats the right word) take far more care with their sexual health than the average drunken punter in a pub at the weekend


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25,953 ✭✭✭✭kryogen


    (but in fairness my girlfriend is gorgeous so they may make an exception :) )



    pics??

    :D i would avoid randomly picking up a stranger as has been pointed out, if they are willing to do it the first time they meet you in a club or whatever then you have to wonder who else they have been with every other night of the week

    google a few swingers websites in ireland, should help you out

    and in the meantime

    pics??


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    Just go on the internet. you're simply not going to meet an attractive girl in a bar who'd be up for this


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    This is an increadibly stupid and self-centered idea. Have you not considered how the person you proposition is likely to feel about your suggestion? I can tell you for a fact, if a bloke came up to me in a bar and said that, depending on his approach and manner, he'd get a response somewhere on the scale between an abrupt fcuk-off and a boot in the balls.

    Sorry but you and your girlfriend both need to grow up and realise the world doesn't revolve around your sexual desires. You've no right to risk ruining someone elses night with your leery suggestions. It's perfectly possible some girl might assume you're just being friendly and you could misread the situation entirely - it does happen that strangers just chat to each other, especially with a few drinks in them, as I'm sure you know. You two need to get a bit more respect for people and take this to the internet where you're sure to meet like-minded individuals.


  • Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    seahorse wrote: »
    This is an increadibly stupid and self-centered idea. Have you not considered how the person you proposition is likely to feel about your suggestion? I can tell you for a fact, if a bloke came up to me in a bar and said that, depending on his approach and manner, he'd get a response somewhere on the scale between an abrupt fcuk-off and a boot in the balls.

    Sorry but you and your girlfriend both need to grow up and realise the world doesn't revolve around your sexual desires. You've no right to risk ruining someone elses night with your leery suggestions. It's perfectly possible some girl might assume you're just being friendly and you could misread the situation entirely - it does happen that strangers just chat to each other, especially with a few drinks in them, as I'm sure you know. You two need to get a bit more respect for people and take this to the internet where you're sure to meet like-minded individuals.

    Its not like the internet is an alternate universe where these people live, swingers are found in all walks of life,also how is that selfish? by that logic anyone who goes out specifically looking for a one night stand and meets someone who wants the same thing is being selfish? and so what if they are?of course its selfish to want to fulfil a sexual fantasy, thats the entire point!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    Its difficult, but can be done. I read an article by a guy who has gone out with his girlfriend looking for threesomes. He explains the difficulties and some of the strategies doing it.

    Here it is.

    http://www.entropypua.com/blog/looking-for-threesomes-w-your-gf


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,431 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    dubhead wrote: »
    An escort recently told me that her fantasy is having a threesome and that if I bring along my girlfriend she would join us for free.

    Another option might be adultfriendfinder.com.

    O_o


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,695 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Off-topic and unhelpful advice can earn you a ban from this forum.


    Please read the charter before posting.

    There will be no more warnings on this thread.
    Thank you.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    krudler wrote: »
    Its not like the internet is an alternate universe where these people live, swingers are found in all walks of life,also how is that selfish? by that logic anyone who goes out specifically looking for a one night stand and meets someone who wants the same thing is being selfish? and so what if they are?of course its selfish to want to fulfil a sexual fantasy, thats the entire point!

    Swingers make thier preferences plainly known on specific internet sites therefore the OP and his partner have no fear of propositioning someone there in a manner that's going to be recieved as sleazy and unwelcome.

    It's not selfish to want to fulfil a sexual fantasy - it's selfish to pursue a sexual fantasy at the expense of others comfort or peace of miind.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Wouldn't go projecting your own ideals onto the rest of us there seahorse. If I was approached for a threesome I'd be flattered - I'd still say no, but i'd be flattered. I don't see it as any different to being chatted up by a guy on his own; actually I think I'd feel *less* threatened if it was a couple.

    Also, threesome != swingers. Swingers *swap* partners or indulge in group sex. It's two couples, not a threesome. Swingers websites are not what the OP is looking for.

    But my earlier point about picking up strangers in bars still stands - too risky for something so emotionally complex.


  • Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Wouldn't go projecting your own ideals onto the rest of us there seahorse. If I was approached for a threesome I'd be flattered - I'd still say no, but i'd be flattered. I don't see it as any different to being chatted up by a guy on his own; actually I think I'd feel *less* threatened if it was a couple.

    +1 on this, if a couple told me they were interested in a threesome with me it would be a huge ego boost,I wouldnt see them as lecherous deviants, me and my gf talked about threesomes (not in a "we're doing this" way, more of a "what if" fun kinda way, as Im sure a lot of couples have done) and who,where and how was the main topic, dont think I could ever do it though, too many complications


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    To be fair, Shelly and Krudler, you do have a point. You may be flattered. Others may not be though. So I can see the other side of the story. You could hit on a random stranger at a bar and ask them for a threesome and they may be flattered. They may also be horrified and extremely uncomfortable.

    Fair point on the swingers/threesome thing as well. However, I think what we were pointing to is that a 'specialist' site would be a much better bet for this kind of thing. As you say, the emotional complexity of it is one thing and, as I have said, the risk of STD (while not eliminated) may be less with someone who manages this kind of lifestyle consciously rather than someone who just takes someone home from the pub every night.

    Thats my take on it. Its a bit of a generalisation but it has to be. You just don't know how each person will react/how safe they etc.. etc... etc...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Wouldn't go projecting your own ideals onto the rest of us there seahorse.

    Wouldn't go projecting your own insecurities on the rest of us there Shellyboo. Not all women take their confidence from strangers looking for thier hole.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    goodshout wrote: »
    To be fair, Shelly and Krudler, you do have a point. You may be flattered. Others may not be though. So I can see the other side of the story. You could hit on a random stranger at a bar and ask them for a threesome and they may be flattered. They may also be horrified and extremely uncomfortable.

    Absolutely... But some people would be horrified at you sitting next to them on the bus, to be fair. Going outside your house means that you might get offended. Them's the breaks. You run the risk of offending someone no matter what you do.
    Fair point on the swingers/threesome thing as well. However, I think what we were pointing to is that a 'specialist' site would be a much better bet for this kind of thing. As you say, the emotional complexity of it is one thing and, as I have said, the risk of STD (while not eliminated) may be less with someone who manages this kind of lifestyle consciously rather than someone who just takes someone home from the pub every night.

    Oh a specialist site absolutely - but what they need is the likes of adult friend finder or another casual sex site. Swinging websites are going to be full of couples.

    As for STIs, someone off a site is just as likely to have one as a random punter. Just cos you know/trust someone doesn't mean they're clean. As long as they stay safe they'll be fine. I would just be *very* wary of inviting a stranger into bed with me and my bf without first laying down ground rules, what's ok what's not, and making sure we were all on the same page etc. That is if I wasn't horribly possessive - couldn't share my boy!


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I think you are stretching credibility there comparing sitting on a bus to being asked to engage in a threesome by 2 complete strangers who have only met you that night at the bar!

    Yeah I know the thing with STI's is you never know who has one. Could just as easily be you me or the next poster on here for all anyone else knows.

    My point is that people, in my experience, generally aren't safe. Doesn't mean they all get STI's either but its a possibility. There is much more to safe sex than just wearing a condom during vaginal or anal intercourse. However, I do feel that a lot of people think that wearing a condom is the be all and end all of being safe


  • Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Absolutely... But some people would be horrified at you sitting next to them on the bus, to be fair. Going outside your house means that you might get offended. Them's the breaks. You run the risk of offending someone no matter what you do.


    Exactly, some people wouldnt get in the least bit offended being propositioned for a threesome, same as some people would get annoyed if someone looked at them suggestively in a bar,horses for courses and all that


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18 SnoopyD


    Its not a valid comparison at all. Anyone using public transport knows that any other customer using the same service is entitled to sit beside them if they like.

    The same cannot be said of being in a pub/club. Being in the premises doesn't mean you should expect to be propositioned to have a threesome with two complete strangers.

    All I'd say is if you are going to ask somebody to do that in a pub/club scenario be very careful to weigh up if they are likely to be interested. Don't just wade in and ask them if they fancy f**king you and your girlfriend. Because a person would be perfectly entitled to be taken aback/horrified/disgusted/unsettled in that circumstance.

    Most people go to the pub/club to socialise and have a drink and a dance rather than pick up strangers for casual sex.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 78,209 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    seahorse wrote: »
    Wouldn't go projecting your own insecurities on the rest of us there Shellyboo. Not all women take their confidence from strangers looking for thier hole.
    Knock it off - attack the post, not the poster.


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