The Funny Side of not being straight.

Cody montana · 08-01-2014 10:32pm

I was living in London at the time and a friend came over from Ireland.
He brought me to one side in the bar and said he had something to say.
Thinking he was ill or gay I waited patiently for a response.
He told me he was gay, and I was like, surprise, I'm gay too.
Bitch wasn't gonna get one up on me.

Another time a female friend complained because she missed getting her order in at the bar, so so sorry for telling you my biggest secret.

DazMarz · 19-01-2014 9:36pm

The horror........... the horror..............................

Ten of Swords · 19-01-2014 9:59pm

Wow, the UKIP really do live on a different planet to the rest of us.

Sunshine in Ireland???

FFS, get a grip :pac:

DazMarz · 19-01-2014 11:27pm

They also left out "Bisexual Blizzards"... that actually sounds like a porno...

Ash885 · 20-01-2014 12:57am

When your friends think because you're gay they'll finally be able to get into the George. And the disappointment in their face when we still don't :L

Tito Man! · 20-01-2014 1:39am

Tito Man! wrote: »

The classic one for me was when she said: "You know, I'd never let two guys into my place when I was here on my own. And I'd never go into their place on my own. But I feel a lot safer around you two guys. I don't know why..."

Pai Mei wrote: »

"Famous last words" Tito Man said, laughing to himself :pac:

Now, now! Nothing like that! :P

But I laughed a lot more than I should have when I saw that reply!

DazMarz · 28-01-2014 2:43am

Ten of Swords · 04-02-2014 11:04pm

BrewDog have launched a satirical beer called 'Hello, my name is Vladimir'

Hello, my name is Vladimir. I am a beer for uber hetero men who ride horses while topless and carrying knives. I am a beer to mark the 2014 Winter Olympics. But I am not for gays. Love wrestling burly men on the Judo mat or fishing in your Speedos? Then this is the beer for you!

http://www.digitalnewsroom.co.uk/brewdog/hello-my-name-is-vladimir/

http://www.brewdog.com/blog-article/hello-my-name-is-vladimir

Ash885 · 17-02-2014 9:23pm

Twitter lols.

Annasopra · 18-02-2014 5:01pm

Earwax.....What the.....

http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/you-can-tell-if-you%E2%80%99re-gay-your-earwax170214

DazMarz · 06-04-2014 12:57pm

sums it up pretty well...

mr.anonymous · 24-05-2014 7:35pm

Glitter :P

Ash885 · 01-07-2014 3:02pm

DazMarz · 08-07-2014 10:20pm

DazMarz · 15-07-2014 3:01pm

Ten of Swords · 18-07-2014 7:20pm

This is just priceless.

More comedy gold from the man with the obscured face can be found by googling "Sleepless in Austin"

playedalive · 06-08-2014 1:15am

So I was trying to find a torrents site called kickasstorrents with my Mother's boyfriend. I accidentally typed in 'lickasstorrents' into Google.

My mum's boyfriend notices this and just says 'I'm sure that's typical of you gays' in his typical dry sense of humour

Incredibly funny and awkward at the same time :pac::pac::o:o

Cantremember · 10-08-2014 1:13pm

Funny thread!

Dick Turnip · 11-08-2014 12:50am

Just remembered this from a few weeks ago. Myself, my brother and my mother were sitting out in the sun in my bro's high walled garden.

Mum - It's very windy out here. You'd think with the high walls that a puff wouldn't get in....
Bro (pointing at me) - and yet here he is!

Cue my mother trying to explain herself whilst myself and my brother just broke ourselves laughing.

failinis · 17-08-2014 3:34pm

A few years ago I came out to my close friend, she was grand with it all and said "Sure I already knew" etc, but I was nervous about telling the group of friends I went about with, so my close friend offered to do it for me.
I said no, not to bother and I would do it on my own time.

One night she got pissed and to them all, "Yousins, you know the way failinis has a bent spine? Well, thats not the only thing bent about her!" :eek:

Keep in mind I have scoliosis in my spine, was pretty funny to me after I got over the shock of her telling everyone.

DazMarz · 26-08-2014 5:51pm

Ash885 · 23-10-2014 6:40pm

Thought I'd revive this thread and it's a bit of a laugh and would be a pity for it to sneak into the history threads.

On a recent night out one of my best friends was having a fight with their boyfriend. I of course was there to wipe the tears, shoulder to cry on, saying all the right things to support her even though I didn't know even what she was saying. At the end she just goes "FFS why do you have to be gay?!! Why? If you were straight it would make things so much easier because then we'd be together and you'd listen to me" and then erupted into more tears.

Too funny at the time!

DazMarz · 03-12-2014 12:17pm

I must admit, I laughed at this a lot more than I should have:

SillyMangoX · 16-12-2014 5:01pm

How you know your parents have accepted your sexuality. Mother was re hanging pictures on the wall after cleaning them:

Mom: agh *sillymango* this picture of you is crooked, it just won't sit right..... Oh well there's nothing straight about you anyway!

Couldn't stop laughing

Lyaiera · 20-12-2014 8:31am

I was leaving the bar tonight, saying goodbye to people I wouldn't see over Christmas as the pub was closing. A woman came up to me and asked me about the top I was wearing. We chatted briefly. Then she said, "So, the question everyone wants to ask... male... female?" I said "Female" and she looked delighted and hugged me. It is a nice top too.

AdFundum · 20-12-2014 4:54pm

Dad: "Is there a button, or a switch or something?"
Me: "A button for what?"
Dad: "To make me, you know, a gay."
Me: "What are you on about?"
Dad: "Women are feckin' mental the lot of 'em."

Ash885 · 12-03-2015 4:32pm

Looking back on old childhood pictures, my obsession with the little mermaid came as no shock to anyone now! Looked well against all the army men they were pushing on me at the time.

And also being told by my mother that if I don't get into a relationship soon she'd knit a man for me was pretty hilarious (and something I'm considering o.o)

Rick_ · 12-03-2015 6:23pm

My mum told me ages ago my favourite song when I was a child was I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston. She has a vinyl single of it and I was constantly looking it on so I could listen and dance to it as apparently I went mad with joy when I heard it.

So, seems kinda obvious from I was in single digit years of age what my future held, but if I was dancing all the time as a child, why am I terrible at it now?

Annasopra · 12-03-2015 10:53pm

Paddy C wrote: »

My mum told me ages ago my favourite song when I was a child was I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston. She has a vinyl single of it and I was constantly looking it on so I could listen and dance to it as apparently I went mad with joy when I heard it.

So, seems kinda obvious from I was in single digit years of age what my future held, but if I was dancing all the time as a child, why am I terrible at it now?

do you still like Whitney?

Rick_ · 13-03-2015 1:24am

I liked her earlier stuff, can't say I bothered listening to her later albums. The last single I heard of hers was "My Love Is Your Love".

The Funny Side of not being straight.

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