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looks and personality??!

  • 10-03-2012 5:55pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 46


    Hi Guys. I just need an outside perspective on my relationship. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and I love being with him. I am 28 and he is 31. I have been in allot of relationships growing up because luckily I am pretty with a good figure. (not meaning to sound full of myself) ! I have met so many guys which is great but which also means I went through alot of breakups mostly by the guys because I was always afraid to break up with the guy in case he was "The one".

    Anyway the only thing is Im not that interested in sex with him. He has a nice body but not the kind of tall , 6 pack one I really fancy. However, I have been with perfectly built guys and they havent had half the nice personality attributes my current boyfriend has. A guy started at work recently and I really fancy him but would never do anything about it and realistically I know it probably would fizzle out after a few weeks anyway and I wouldnt fancy him as much. . Im just wondering if I should I be worried about this issue? We've talked about marraige and Im mad to have babies but am trying desperatly not to let this cloud my feelings for my boyfriend. Im kind of worried that I might want this so much I might ignore other signs. Like I get annoyed at him over stupid things and then I cant tell if Im just being high maintenence which I have a history of(very sensitive) or if Im actually right... Sometimes I feel like he is a brother to me but on the other hand I love his handsome face and gorgeous eyes so its not so brotherly ... Everyone whos met him in my family and friend group adore him and we have very similar interests and backgrounds.. Is this a recipie for success? Everyone says you just know when youve met the right one and for ages I felt he was. Is this true or is it normal to question it ?? I think Im just scared in case he's not the one!! Can anyone help!!


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    psychk wrote: »

    Anyway the only thing is Im not that interested in sex with him.!

    It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that zing.....

    You're sleeping with someone who you don't want to sleep with.... that does not bode well for the future of your relationship.

    did you want to sleep with him when you met him?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,897 ✭✭✭Kimia


    Did you fancy him in the beginning? Has it just started fading recently?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,116 ✭✭✭Lorna123


    I would say that if you are having doubts then he is not the one. I would be worried if you don't like having sex with him. That is a major issue. However, there is no perfect match and there is always going to be something wrong with a partner that will annoy us from time to time. Maybe if you had a break from him to weigh up the situation you might see things more clearly.


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,562 ✭✭✭✭The Princess Bride


    psychk wrote: »
    Is this a recipe for success?

    Can anyone help!!

    Sounds like a recipe for an unhappy life together,to be honest.
    You love being with him,you love his handsome face....but do you actually love him?

    You say you're mad to have babies- with anybody or him specifically?

    Read back over your own post a few times, and you'll see what we see.
    After only 2 years ,everything should be still amazing( including the sex!)- and if you're having doubts at this early stage- throw babies,and bills and reality check into the equation and you have the potential to be posting back here in a few years as a miserable mother with a husband you no longer care about.

    Best of luck with your choice-only you can make it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 557 ✭✭✭puddles22


    if he's the one looks, personality,healthy sex life should be all encompassing at this stage especially after two years.
    as they say the grass isnt always greener.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 335 ✭✭fallen01angel


    Hi OP,
    I'm afraid I'm going to echo the previous posters on this one.He nearly has it all but you're not interested in sex with him,for me that would have alarm bells ringing-not that sex is the be all and end all but sexual attraction is important to have,it's early in the relationship to be missing that ingredient. I also think if you attracted to another guy and the only thing that seems to be stopping you is that you think it'd fizzle out after a few weeks/months is worrying.Can I ask you a question-do you feel that because your family and friends are so mad about your boyfriend that it's gotten you to think that you'd be fool to give him up and because they think so highly of him that he's got to be "The One"?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    I have been in allot of relationships growing up because luckily I am pretty with a good figure. (not meaning to sound full of myself) ! I have met so many guys which is great but which also means I went through alot of breakups mostly by the guys because I was always afraid to break up with the guy in case he was "The one".

    This is very telling language. Does having a boyfriend validate you or your looks in some way? In effect it seems you are a serial monogmomist who always needs to be in a relationship, regardless of whether its a suitable one or not. I'm not slating you for this, it's just something I've always found hard to understand tbh. I wouldn't get involved in a serious relationship with someone when I knew it I didn't really love them or have the potential to. Why would you? I guess I'm pretty self-assured so I haven't needed to be validated by having a boyfriend at every stage in my life but I know it's common enough.
    Anyway the only thing is Im not that interested in sex with him.

    The "only" thing? Pretty much one of the most fundamental things in a relationship and which ultimately is the differentiator between having a platonic relationship with someone or not. You'[re both young, you are only going out with each other two years, you should really be VERY interested in having sex with him.
    He has a nice body but not the kind of tall , 6 pack one I really fancy. However, I have been with perfectly built guys and they havent had half the nice personality attributes my current boyfriend has.

    The Dalai Lama has a lot of nice personality traits too but I've no interest in getting jiggy with him. I'd quite like to hang out with him though. That means he might be a nice friend but not someone I'd contemplate getting together with.
    A guy started at work recently and I really fancy him but would never do anything about it and realistically I know it probably would fizzle out after a few weeks anyway and I wouldnt fancy him as much. . Im just wondering if I should I be worried about this issue?

    Crushes are fine although in your situation probably more than likely symptomatic of what's wrong with the relationship you're in.
    We've talked about marraige and Im mad to have babies but am trying desperatly not to let this cloud my feelings for my boyfriend. Im kind of worried that I might want this so much I might ignore other signs.

    Fair play on being this self-aware, it is sensible of you to address this now rather than when you've a few kids in tow and realise you can't bear the thought of your husband touching you. Having babies can put enormous strain on the strongest of relationships so you'd need to be pretty sure of him before embarking on that road. The fact that it's still a relatively new relationship and you don't really fancy him does not bode well tbh.
    Sometimes I feel like he is a brother to me but on the other hand I love his handsome face and gorgeous eyes so its not so brotherly ...

    Yes you don't have any interest in actually having sex with him? That's brotherly.
    Everyone whos met him in my family and friend group adore him and we have very similar interests and backgrounds.. Is this a recipie for success?

    No, because it will be YOU going home with him every night and sharing your bed and your lives and your fears and hopes and dreams. It doesn't matter if they think he's the World's Most Incredible Man, it's you and your consience that has to live with him.
    Everyone says you just know when youve met the right one and for ages I felt he was. Is this true or is it normal to question it ??

    I think you know. It takes time to get to know someone so you might not know immediately but you know pretty soon imho. I knew after a few months with my fiance that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Life comes with no guarantees so there is no way of knowing but I do know that there is no other person I would rather see out my days with, building a life together just seems like the most glorious (and most natural) thing we could do. I think after two years with someone you should have a pretty good idea and if you don't want to be phsycial with him then that in itself to me would have very very loud alarm bells ringing in my head.

    If you want my honest advice I'd take some time out to be single if I were you. I think it might help you build on your self-esteem and your self-confidence and get to know YOURSELF a bit better. Why jump from one (wrong) relationship to the next? Too scared to leave in case they are The One? A recipe for disaster if you ask me. Get to know yourself first and then you'll be in a better position to know what YOU want from a relationship and the type of person that you will be happy to build a future with. Not just blindly getting attached to unsuitable men in the hope that they'll end up being "The One", ultimately you will end up lonely or in a totally unhappy relationship such is your desire to have children. You're only 28, go out and experience life a little....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    You only talk about him in terms of what he offers you. You compare him with people you've only just met - in what should be a reasonably formal environment. It doesn't sound like you love or care about him at all tbh. You also dont fancy him. But he is nice to you - and you get approval from your friends and parents for being with him - do you want to throw that away? That is what your dilemma is really.

    I suggest you find someone who thinks in a similar way to how you do.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 833 ✭✭✭snafuk35


    psychk wrote: »
    Hi Guys. I just need an outside perspective on my relationship. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost two years now and I love being with him. I am 28 and he is 31. I have been in allot of relationships growing up because luckily I am pretty with a good figure. (not meaning to sound full of myself) ! I have met so many guys which is great but which also means I went through alot of breakups mostly by the guys because I was always afraid to break up with the guy in case he was "The one".

    Anyway the only thing is Im not that interested in sex with him. He has a nice body but not the kind of tall , 6 pack one I really fancy. However, I have been with perfectly built guys and they havent had half the nice personality attributes my current boyfriend has. A guy started at work recently and I really fancy him but would never do anything about it and realistically I know it probably would fizzle out after a few weeks anyway and I wouldnt fancy him as much. . Im just wondering if I should I be worried about this issue? We've talked about marraige and Im mad to have babies but am trying desperatly not to let this cloud my feelings for my boyfriend. Im kind of worried that I might want this so much I might ignore other signs. Like I get annoyed at him over stupid things and then I cant tell if Im just being high maintenence which I have a history of(very sensitive) or if Im actually right... Sometimes I feel like he is a brother to me but on the other hand I love his handsome face and gorgeous eyes so its not so brotherly ... Everyone whos met him in my family and friend group adore him and we have very similar interests and backgrounds.. Is this a recipie for success? Everyone says you just know when youve met the right one and for ages I felt he was. Is this true or is it normal to question it ?? I think Im just scared in case he's not the one!! Can anyone help!!

    There is no such thing as 'the one.' That's just a load of baloney.
    There are any number of guys you could be with and there are any number of women this guy could be with too. It's really your decision whether you want to stay with him and have children or not. Go with what you feel. Do you prefer him over other men or do you want to have more relationships. Do you want to settle down or not. It's really up to you. There's no right or wrong answer.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,357 ✭✭✭squonk


    Hi OP, I don't want to sound too harsh but I didn't get a good feeling when reading your post. Like Miss Fluff said, it seems like you're only interested in fitting in with the gang. You're pretty so you get asked out a lot and falling into relationships is relatively easy. Now you want kids so its easy enough to find someone fairly acceptable and the fact that your family like him pretty much validates the whole thing, except that the buzz isn't there. Now I do appluade you for being circumspective in this case but really i don't understand you either. Why don't you just take a step back and make a decision after you've thought about what you want? I presume everything clicked with this guy for the first while? Now, you're two years down the road and dithering about ending it or not. Frankly you sound like someone who gets asked out, falls into a relationship because it's handy for you and have some delusion about finding the ONE so you suspend all critical analysis and carry on with the delusion until you're dumped. Instead, next time you're asked out why not decide early on that this is or isn't what you want? Have a bit more confidence in yourself. Less attractive people get asked out too and it doens't seem to affect their chances too much. You have this opinion of yourself that you're very pretty, well beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Take some responsibility for your life and let this guy go. You might be super pretty but you don't deserve this fella and it's unfair to him that you haven't the backbone to stand up for yourself and instead lead him along. Do something definitive for once in your life.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 99 ✭✭jellygems


    if ur not interested in sex with ur bf ur in for alot of trouble


    time to move on me thinks


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 38 emigrant36


    I have to say, I'd not want to be with someone that I didn't fancy, nor would i want to be with someobe who didnt fancy ne. Imagine beig rejected every day :(

    And tbh, with my boyfriend, I fancy him more every day! (after 3 years!)


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    This is a tricky one, while its easy to say break up with him, find yourself, love yourself etc, etc, this situation is scary for a woman in late twenties and mad to have kids and having invested 2 years of her life in the relationship. It feels like the biggest gamble ever, really not knowing if it will work or not, when you dont feel the idealistic perfect love for her partner, which we are constantly told is just a fantasy anyway? From what I've seen the lust filled relationships never last or end in intense hurt, and the comfortable more friend-like ones seem to go forever! So its the hardest thing in the world to know whether to give up on a handsome, kind man, when tbh it really is slim pickings of hot single kind generous loyal men of early 30s!!! Sorry this is cynical but its reality!
    He sounds like a good man for you, but you obviously aren't feeling the fireworks, the spark etc. And thats seems to be what you want. Most of your post outlines that this is missing, and only one line states you want babies, so maybe you kind of know which matters more to you at this time. Best of luck with your decision


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    unreg81 wrote: »
    It feels like the biggest gamble ever, really not knowing if it will work or not, when you dont feel the idealistic perfect love for her partner, which we are constantly told is just a fantasy anyway?

    A fantasy? Good God that's cynical. Being in love with someone, respecting them, enjoying their company and FANCYING someone are pretty much prerequisites tbh. They are all essential ingredients for a happy relationship and when one of them is missing then the person to my mind is "making do", no way to live life imho.

    OP if you think your BF is a nice bloke but you don't fancy him then he really should be relegated to friend status tbh...


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,142 ✭✭✭Babooshka


    unreg81 wrote: »
    This is a tricky one, while its easy to say break up with him, find yourself, love yourself etc, etc, this situation is scary for a woman in late twenties and mad to have kids and having invested 2 years of her life in the relationship.

    Oh what? Please, you make late twenties sound like pensioners....women have babies up to 40 and beyond, it's not the end of the world if she splits up with him at all, in theory/general, she can have several more relationships before worrying about her fertility. And the talk of a relationship as "an investment", relationships should be more than hedging your bets for a less lonely future, it's the now of them that should be enjoyable not the three or 4 yrs down the road. 2 years "invested" is nothing! OP sometimes it's hard to keep the sexual spark in a relationship, and sometimes the spark goes up and down depending on stresses in life etc. You don't mention if you live with him or not. Maybe it's just at its natural end for you or maybe you need a bit more time to think about things and see where they're going. ...and there is no "the one". There is just what works at the time, sometimes it lasts a long time and sometimes it has a shelf life. Good Luck.


  • Registered Users Posts: 90 ✭✭bouncebouncey


    You shouldn't be with him. That's 100%. You're absolutely wasting his time by trundling along in a relationship in which you are settling. I seriously doubt he'd want to be in a relationship where he knew his partner was just settling to be with him and didn't find him attractive. So I'd forget about that for a start. That's the simple part of this.

    It doesn't matter how many of your friends and family like him. Or how 'mad to have babies' you are. None of these are reasons to continue a relationship you're not into. If you want to tell him you're not physically attracted to him and he's more than happy to continue the relationship then you have something to ponder over. Otherwise this is cut and dried.

    Another few things struck me in what you said though. You referenced being 'pretty with a good figure'. And that your boyfriend doesn't conform to the 'tall, 6 pack' body you like and that you've been with 'perfectly built guys before'. Then you go on to talking about how any potential relationship with this guy you really fancy would likely fizzle out.

    What I'm reading from that is that you're heavily invested in how pretty you perceive yourself to be. And that you like to have sex with people you perceive to be your aesthetically your equal. I'm not saying that tall blokes with six packs shouldn't turn you on but what I am saying is that they shouldn't be your solitary aim if you're looking for something more than a couple of weeks of sex.

    Sure you can't help what you find attractive but I get the distinct impression you have locked in on only being physically attracted to men who conform to some kind of perfect male archetype. You say the relationships with these men are likely to fizzle out on account of personality. So you're attracted to vacuous pretty boys basically.

    I think you may be far too goal orientated in the men you find attractive. You say your boyfriend has a nice body but he's not tall with a six pack. I hate to break it to you but if you're only going to get your engine running for tall guys with six packs then you're cutting out a massive percentage of lads. I'm not saying you should accept some great big slob with a massive beer belly. However I can think of at least a half dozen lads that are at the same gym as myself who have great physiques but aren't 'tall with a six pack'. So lack of height and six pack aren't down to being lazy or not keeping in shape.

    It's as restrictive as me saying I only go for women over 6 feet tall with 26 inch waists and a D cup. I'm not saying don't go for the kind of men you like I'm just questioning if you have focused in on something so specific that it's verging on the ridiculous.

    Your boyfriend has great personality and a nice body (but not tall with a six pack) and that doesn't cut it for you. Fair enough. All I'm saying is that if all you are looking for to pass muster is a really good looking, tall lad with a six pack and a great personality who is single and finds you to be the person he wants to stay with forever you might be in for a bit of a wait because it's incredibly specific.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,119 ✭✭✭Idle Passerby


    I agree with the last poster. It sounds like your focusing too much on the physical, both your own and your boyfriends.

    Lets say you did stick with this guy and have the babies your mad for. You might not have such a great figure anymore after giving birth and raising a few kids, and time will take its tole on your man's body too. 6-packs are nice but they wont last forever and 10 years into a relationship with a few children running around your feet a 6-pack isn't going to be what you miss in life.

    Having said that, if your not attracted to him at all when its only 2 years in, you have to ask would you want to still be with him in 10 years time.


  • Registered Users Posts: 46 psychk


    I just realised I had a load of replies to my thread!.. I may not have come across clearly, I DO love this guy and cant imagine spending my life with anyone else, its just that I dont know if this is because of fear or because its meant to be.. I know what kind of guys are out there and he is the nicest one Ive met and the best fit for me. I did fancy him when I met him but this was probably more curiosity. I do like having sex with him and I think for women it does get a bit boring after a while if the guy doesnt know how to turn her on.. Ive given him a book on tips but I dont think he knows how serious I am even tho Ive tried talkin to him about it, he's the same as other guys, gets carried away and its all about them ...Ive done the being single and finding myself many times before, I know what I want from a relationship and this guy has it all except the sexual aspect is not there. Doesnt that not sepend on a persons libido tho? I could be the same with another guy after 2 years, Ive def felt this way before.. I have young married friends who are women and say that sex really is not that great but they are not too bothered..And I havent just drifted from one relationship to the next Ive been single lots of times..I did consider taking a break from him then told him about my idea but I had since changed my mind and he said if Id asked for a break he'd prob just tell me its over because if i need a break something is not right....At the end of the day I do l love him, cant imagine life without him ..Im moving in with him for a few weeks to see how it goes, maybe that will help me ....Thanks for all the advice!1!


  • Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Sorry OP - but giving him a book is not going to solve this for you...

    You have to be crystal clear in what works for you and what is not.
    Anything else will just lead to a long unfulfilled and frustrated sex life.
    Actually if I were him and I knew your views on sex becoming boring I would be worried that come the wedding day that things would change so radically I may be better off being single.

    Look - for what it's worth you first need to be honest with yourself - not just about him, his looks etc but also about your needs. Then and only then you need to sit down and talk to him honestly about all of this. If you are not compatible you are not compatible and all the wishful thinking in the world won't stop the relationship from breaking up.

    Me - if my wife gave me a book and said - "here read that you just don't press my buttons" - well with that kind of communication I think I would be making a hasty exit. (of course I am ad libbing here - but that is the message I would be hearing in my head irrespective of whatever malarky she came out with).


  • Registered Users Posts: 46 psychk


    Thank you, this is a great reply, I fully agree with the now being the most important thing in a relationship. I dont live with him and I wonder if this is the reason for lack of sexual interest. I usually only stay ove one night a week and Im too tired to sleep with him when we get home from being out and in the morning he takes ages to wake up and then we have to get up and go to mass so its a bit pressurised.. Im moving in with him for a month soon so maybe this will tell alot!!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Hope so.
    For me - when we were dating things were crazy (rabbits and all that) - when we moved in together and started having to deal with cleaning / cooking / bills that part of our relationship took a slump... Can I suggest you both put aside time for you both each week and work on it. Also - why not make showing him part of your sex life - and let him know that say "this time is about me - you get to get carried away next time".
    Personally there is nothing more erotic that being with a woman who is clearly enjoying herself with you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 46 psychk


    Ya i did fancy him when I first met him but the thing is we met through speed dating, he had chatted me up previously at a social event but I dont remember that coz i didnt know him, i must have fancied him coz I ticked yes to him on my sheet!I dont not fancy him, im just lazy about sex coz its only enjoyable sometimes !


  • Registered Users Posts: 90 ✭✭bouncebouncey


    Sorry OP you've changed your tune considerably in the course of the thread. Not finding your partner attractive is one thing. Things haven gone a bit flat in the bedroom is a completely different thing.

    You started with
    Anyway the only thing is Im not that interested in sex with him. He has a nice body but not the kind of tall , 6 pack one I really fancy.

    Not being interested in having sex with him because he doesn't have the type of body you like. They implication being that you just don't find him attractive.

    Now you've migrated to
    I do like having sex with him and I think for women it does get a bit boring after a while if the guy doesnt know how to turn her on

    These are two completely different problems. Which is it?

    You don't find him attractive or he's not getting it done in bed? Is it both? Does his lack of height and six pack impact on your enjoyment in the sack? Getting off is as mental as it is physical for some people.

    It's really very hard to advise you when you don't seem to know what the issue is yourself. You just need to be very honest with yourself and ask what it is you want. It really seems to me that you're settling for less than you want for one reason or another. I'd agree with sqounk and Miss Fluff. You seem to be conforming to ideals and just going along with it.

    I think you need to be brutally honest with yourself about what you really want and why you want it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25 MagicMirror


    You care about him, but not enough. Personally I think if you were in love with him, then the flaws you see wouldn't matter a damn. A 6 pack in a great bonus, but there's a hell of a lot more to attraction than that. Sometimes, you only realise it when you meet the person who doesn't fit your 'ideals' at all, and yet somehow still takes your breath away.

    Why settle for 'just okay'? Let him go, so that you're both free to find someone who blows you away.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 38 emigrant36


    Babooshka wrote: »
    unreg81 wrote: »
    This is a tricky one, while its easy to say break up with him, find yourself, love yourself etc, etc, this situation is scary for a woman in late twenties and mad to have kids and having invested 2 years of her life in the relationship.

    Oh what? Please, you make late twenties sound like pensioners....women have babies up to 40 and beyond, it's not the end of the world if she splits up with him at all, in theory/general, she can have several more relationships before worrying about her fertility. And the talk of a relationship as "an investment", relationships should be more than hedging your bets for a less lonely future, it's the now of them that should be enjoyable not the three or 4 yrs down the road. 2 years "invested" is nothing! OP sometimes it's hard to keep the sexual spark in a relationship, and sometimes the spark goes up and down depending on stresses in life etc. You don't mention if you live with him or not. Maybe it's just at its natural end for you or maybe you need a bit more time to think about things and see where they're going. ...and there is no "the one". There is just what works at the time, sometimes it lasts a long time and sometimes it has a shelf life. Good Luck.


    The risks associated with having children after 35 increase almost exponentially. It is a very genuine and founded concern for women who want to give their children the very best start in life, including a healthy pregnancy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 25 MagicMirror


    emigrant36 wrote: »
    The risks associated with having children after 35 increase almost exponentially. It is a very genuine and founded concern for women who want to give their children the very best start in life, including a healthy pregnancy.

    Yes, but men aren't just 'babymakers', and having a child grow up in an unhappy household isn't exactly the best start in life.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 38 emigrant36


    Very true.


  • Registered Users Posts: 46 psychk


    Thanks to everyone for all the advice. I have done alot of soul searching and I met with my boyfriend this evening and we had a good talk. I realised this: I love him very much, I cant imagine life without him and Ive no intention of leaving him because our sex life is lacking. This is something that can be worked on and we've decided to try new things. Leaving someone because of sex is not a good idea because what if your the very same with the next person after 2 years? People have different libido s and sometimes women just dont like sex as much as men, a womans body is more tricky in terms of getting turned on and lets face it most men dont have a clue outside of the basics. Anyway We're going to give it a shot, worse case scenario our sex life is still bit flat, I think I could live with it if it meant I got to spend my life with this guy. I agree with the person who said"friendship relationships last longer than ones all about sex" In a perfect world we'd have both and some people do but like another person said"Theres always going to be something not perfect". I feel really bad for going public with this now so Im going to stop posting but thanks for all the help and advice!


  • Registered Users Posts: 90 ✭✭bouncebouncey


    People have different libido s and sometimes women just dont like sex as much as men, a womans body is more tricky in terms of getting turned on and lets face it most men dont have a clue outside of the basics.

    What a woefully inaccurate statement.

    If the both of you are prepared to settle for less than you actually desire then all the best to you. I hope it doesn't degenerate into something horribly messy further down the road.

    Best of luck OP. I think you're going to need buckets full of it


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  • Registered Users Posts: 58,456 ✭✭✭✭ibarelycare


    psychk wrote: »
    Thanks to everyone for all the advice. I have done alot of soul searching and I met with my boyfriend this evening and we had a good talk. I realised this: I love him very much, I cant imagine life without him and Ive no intention of leaving him because our sex life is lacking. This is something that can be worked on and we've decided to try new things. Leaving someone because of sex is not a good idea because what if your the very same with the next person after 2 years? People have different libido s and sometimes women just dont like sex as much as men, a womans body is more tricky in terms of getting turned on and lets face it most men dont have a clue outside of the basics. Anyway We're going to give it a shot, worse case scenario our sex life is still bit flat, I think I could live with it if it meant I got to spend my life with this guy. I agree with the person who said"friendship relationships last longer than ones all about sex" In a perfect world we'd have both and some people do but like another person said"Theres always going to be something not perfect". I feel really bad for going public with this now so Im going to stop posting but thanks for all the help and advice!


    Wow, this post is really depressing. But best of luck anyway.


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