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Playing Hard to Get or What TF?

  • 11-03-2014 12:18am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 2,223 ✭✭✭


    Ok I'll make this as detailed as I can.. I'm in my mid 30s, was engaged living with a woman for a few years.. That's all gone now a number off years! so in the last few years or so I've been with a few women(nothing major)and only two I've really liked.... I'll continue... The first was just perfect, beautiful, funny I thought mature, although it was nothing serious I was hoping it would be... Untill she started playing what seemed to be 'hard to get'.... I remember at the beginning certain texts wheren't replied to, what I mean is we'd be in the middle off chatting early in the evening, and boom, no reply to a quite innocuous simple text, now that use to annoy me(just a little)but I grinned and bared it, waited a day sometimes two, and then there she was texting me flat out, untill she'd do it again..... Anyway that particular lady was soon kicked into touch, btw we only whent on two dates, after I stopped wanting to see her, it seemed like she really really wanted me, but I made no contact with her at all and couldn't care less if I never seen her again, Seriously..... It seems all that playing hard to get(even though she had me)put me right off her.... so the question is do women think 'playing hard to get' makes them more attractive and do they not realise how unattractive it makes them look..... p.s.. something similar is starting to happen now with another 'girl', will I just get on with it, even though it basically makes me 'like' them less, it really does I can't help it:(


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    People who play games are insecure, needy freaks.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Chazz Michael Michaels


    Try not being so keen with the texting. Girls like it when you are somewhat aloof.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Maybe they're busy or just get bored texting?

    Or just not that into you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 515 ✭✭✭full_irish


    You're in your mid 30s... stop texting. Pick up the phone already and ring a jewelers right NOW... she's the best you're going to get.

    And knock her up while you're at it, never let her go. This is your LAST chance at happiness.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    Try not being so keen with the texting. Girls like it when you are somewhat aloof.
    Nah, that's also game-playing and a head-wreck. Only silly girls "like" it.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 37,295 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    If they stop responding to your texts, call their bluff and ask them on a date. If they don't want a date, only a text buddy, move on.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Chazz Michael Michaels


    Nah, that's also game-playing and a head-wreck. Only silly girls "like" it.

    Its not. Its simply observing that bombarding someone with texts is going to annoy them. Sometimes stepping back and leaving them to take the initiative is a good thing. Call it a game, if you like. Its all semantics anyway.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    A fella that constantly texted would do my head in.

    Put the phone down man!


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,350 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    Maybe they are friends with your ex and its a conspiracy to fcuk with your head.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    Its not. Its simply observing that bombarding someone with texts is going to annoy them. Sometimes stepping back and leaving them to take the initiative is a good thing.
    Oh that's fair enough, but being aloof is just being an ass. Dialling back on the texting isn't aloofness though, and it's definitely best not to be bombarding someone with texts.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,329 ✭✭✭✭dxhound2005


    Ok I'll make this as detailed as I can.. I'm in my mid 30s, was engaged living with a woman for a few years.. That's all gone now a number off years! so in the last few years or so I've been with a few women(nothing major)and only two I've really liked.... I'll continue... The first was just perfect, beautiful, funny I thought mature, although it was nothing serious I was hoping it would be... Untill she started playing what seemed to be 'hard to get'.... I remember at the beginning certain texts wheren't replied to, what I mean is we'd be in the middle off chatting early in the evening, and boom, no reply to a quite innocuous simple text, now that use to annoy me(just a little)but I grinned and bared it, waited a day sometimes two, and then there she was texting me flat out, untill she'd do it again..... Anyway that particular lady was soon kicked into touch, btw we only whent on two dates, after I stopped wanting to see her, it seemed like she really really wanted me, but I made no contact with her at all and couldn't care less if I never seen her again, Seriously..... It seems all that playing hard to get(even though she had me)put me right off her.... so the question is do women think 'playing hard to get' makes them more attractive and do they not realise how unattractive it makes them look..... p.s.. something similar is starting to happen now with another 'girl', will I just get on with it, even though it basically makes me 'like' them less, it really does I can't help it:(

    Are you playing Hard to Read?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Chazz Michael Michaels


    Oh that's fair enough, but being aloof is just being an ass. Dialling back on the texting isn't aloofness though, and it's definitely best not to be bombarding someone with texts.

    By aloof, I really mean don't do all the chasing. Make him/her work for it to. Maybe its a game, but its a necessary one, in the early days of dating.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,794 ✭✭✭Aongus Von Bismarck


    I can't stand constant texting.

    I'll often just stop texting back, because it can be like hitting a ball against a wall, every one you hit is returned. I much prefer to just chat on the phone for a few mins than send 40 million texts.

    It ends up eating into real life social interactions as well if you're constantly on the phone around others.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    By aloof, I really mean don't do all the chasing. Make him/her work for it to. Maybe its a game, but its a necessary one, in the early days of dating.
    No it's not a game to take it easy on the texting; if one person is texting non stop, then it could be off-putting for the other person. I was thinking aloof meant standoffish, kinda cold etc. A person can have their limits in terms of how much they text without being any of those things. I wouldn't agree with making someone work for it though; just a moderate amount of texting by either person keeps things on an even keel.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,088 ✭✭✭Pug160


    I don't think she was necessarily playing hard to get. That happens when texting sometimes. How did the actual face-to-face dates go? If they went quite well then it's a shame you perhaps jumped to conclusions out of insecurity. Texting can actually work quite well if you send fun little texts but boring texts can sometimes put the fire out. If you don't really have a flair for it just focus on the actual dates. For people under a certain age, texting is a big part of life, but not everyone enjoys it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭Bipolar Joe


    OP never said he was "Bombarding" her with texts.

    Also, hard to get means something different. Through my investigative journalism, posing as Anna Nolan for The Afternoon Show, my foiled attempts to murder Blathnaid Ni Chofaigh and my repeatedly successful attempt to sleep with Sile Seoige, I learned that it means hard to get, like "I don't get it." It means they are difficult assholes.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    If you were casually texting a mate and they suddenly stopped replying, would you think that had ulterior motives other than maybe something came up, work suddenly got busy, the doorbell rang, and they weren't in a position to reply?

    Stop over-thinking texting, it's innocuous and silly and a stupid way of trying to forge a relationship with someone.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,618 ✭✭✭The Diabolical Monocle


    OP never said he was "Bombarding" her with texts.

    Also, hard to get means something different. Through my investigative journalism, posing as Anna Nolan for The Afternoon Show, my foiled attempts to murder Blathnaid Ni Chofaigh and my repeatedly successful attempt to sleep with Sile Seoige, I learned that it means hard to get, like "I don't get it." It means they are difficult assholes.

    Someones on their bipolar highpoint.

    Go buy chocolate while theres still time.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 165 ✭✭Baze


    People who play games are insecure, needy freaks.

    Even Monopoly?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,223 ✭✭✭Sam Quentin


    People who play games are insecure, needy freaks.
    Agreed
    Nah, that's also game-playing and a head-wreck. Only silly girls "like" it.
    Agreed
    Its not. Its simply observing that bombarding someone with texts is going to annoy them. Sometimes stepping back and leaving them to take the initiative is a good thing. Call it a game, if you like. Its all semantics anyway.

    Wouldn't even dream of bombarding anyone with texts, nice to get a reply though..... I swear even when I wasn't 'Big' into someone I'd always reply, or I'd feel like an ignorant cnut... Seriously.
    Are you playing Hard to Read?

    Best I can explain, there's a lot more to it, but you get the just off it!
    OP never said he was "Bombarding" her with texts.

    Also, hard to get means something different. Through my investigative journalism, posing as Anna Nolan for The Afternoon Show, my foiled attempts to murder Blathnaid Ni Chofaigh and my repeatedly successful attempt to sleep with Sile Seoige, I learned that it means hard to get, like "I don't get it." It means they are difficult assholes.

    And hence the reason 'it puts me right off them'.....


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,995 ✭✭✭Sofiztikated


    Could it be that you're a dull fúcker?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Chazz Michael Michaels


    No it's not a game to take it easy on the texting; if one person is texting non stop, then it could be off-putting for the other person. I was thinking aloof meant standoffish, kinda cold etc. A person can have their limits in terms of how much they text without being any of those things. I wouldn't agree with making someone work for it though; just a moderate amount of texting by either person keeps things on an even keel.

    I dunno. Sometimes I realise that I'm the one always initiating contact, suggesting we meet, etc. So I just stop doing that to see what they do. Its a way of gauging their interest, for me.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,223 ✭✭✭Sam Quentin


    Could it be that you're a dull fúcker?

    possibly! She hasn't mentioned that to me, but maybe it's her way off telling me I am..... :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 131 ✭✭geckovision


    She's a silly girl who appeared to be using you as an ego boost.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 218 ✭✭burnhardlanger


    She might have had a smart phone with a shiddy battery life.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,103 ✭✭✭Tiddlypeeps


    I wouldn't call that playing games. It can be very difficult to say good buy to someone who is a bit keen with their texting. I'm busy, got to go doesn't really work because it only takes 2 seconds to send a text and can be done in most scenarios. But sometimes people just don't want to text too much. You might not think you were bombarding her with texts but you may have been over doing it without realising.

    At worst you could call her a bit rude, but I really wouldn't think it's that big of a deal. Accusing her of playing games is totally over the top. Also making that a deal breaker when you were otherwise really into her is totally insane. You sound really needy and insecure.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 218 ✭✭burnhardlanger


    Text Diarrhoea.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 822 ✭✭✭zetalambda


    Women who play hard to get rarely get got.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,982 ✭✭✭Caliden


    OP you have to wait at least 30 minutes to an hour between texts. It's the rule!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Her husband/boyfriend probably arrived on the scene when the texts stopped.


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