Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

What's your fav quote?

  • 02-04-2006 1:49pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27


    Anybody got any quotes they'd like to share? inspirational or humourous? with or without an author, just something that hit the right note with you?

    "Your village called, they want their idiot back"

    "Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, i can, all of them make me laugh...."
    W.H. Auden


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,424 ✭✭✭440Hz


    Hmmm too many choices, I'll have to think it over :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 794 ✭✭✭ChityWest


    Dorothy Parker had some of the best one liners ever - this one is prob one of the funnier ones

    "If you laid all the girls in yale end to end I wouldnt be at all surprised".

    "Is there no beginning to that mans talent".

    Another one I liked was not Dorothy Parker - somone said it once about David Frost

    "That man rose without trace".


  • Registered Users Posts: 861 ✭✭✭p~b


    **** happens


  • Registered Users Posts: 405 ✭✭uncle ernie


    "as a youth i used to weep in butchers shops"
    Uncle Monty in Withnail & I...classic


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 522 ✭✭✭JungleBunny


    "as a youth i used to weep in butchers shops"
    Uncle Monty in Withnail & I...classic

    That reminds me of:
    "We want the finest wines known to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now!" - Withnail


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 872 ✭✭✭grahamor


    A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke
    -- Rudyard Kipling


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    Has to be Hannibal from a-team -

    "I love it when a plan comes together" :)


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 16,397 ✭✭✭✭Degsy


    "who the **** do ya think i'm gonna call?a snake charmer?I'm gonna call a doctor"

    Nice Guy Eddie


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 370 ✭✭Darren


    "An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks: a) We don't have any jet-powered rocket pants; and b) there's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial "Robbie Rocket Pants"."
    - Kryten, Terrorform


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 794 ✭✭✭ChityWest


    "I know you gentlemen have been through an awful lot - but when you find the time I would rather not spend the rest of my life TIED TO THIS FCUKING COUCH!!"

    The guy from carpenter version of The Thing
    _______________________________

    Most of the things Ash says in the Medieval Dead /Army of Darkness

    Q. Are all men from the future loudmouth braggarts like thou art ?
    A. Na, Just me baby, just me

    This, This is my BOOMSTICK (waving a shotgun around)

    Yo She Bitch (chick-chick noise loading a shotgun) Lets Go

    Q. But you said that you loved me
    A. Yeah but that was just pillow talk baby

    The next one of you primates e-even tu-huches me AND I SWEAR

    ______________________

    Q. (Waffle Waitress ) Watcha reading for mr ?

    A - hmm - not what am I reading - but - what am I reading for. Well I suppose I read for a great many reasons but one of the main ones is so's I dont end being a fcuking waffle waitress.

    (Bill hicks - badly quoted)


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 2,267 ✭✭✭kc66


    Keeping with Withnail & I:

    "I feel like a pig shat in my head"

    "If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision; let go before it's too late, or hold on and keep getting higher. Posing the question, how long can you keep a grip on the rope?"


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,241 ✭✭✭god's toy


    God Darnit, Mr Lamarr! ‘You use your tongue prettier than a $20 whore"

    (Mr. Taggert in Blazing Saddles)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 449 ✭✭tallaghtdave


    http://smacie.com/randomizer/simpsons/homer.html?Homer.x=44&Homer.y=136

    beat this heheheheh
    just click homer for a few other good ones. my fave being . a hundred dollars for a comic book? who drew it?Michaelmelangelo?


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭deisemum


    Not all children lie and not all adults tell the truth.

    Those who can do
    Those who can't teach.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,430 ✭✭✭Sizzler


    Keep the change!

    Jake Stevens, 2005.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 16,584 CMod ✭✭✭✭faceman


    How u fixed for the rattle?

    -Deco in the community centre disco summer '98


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 794 ✭✭✭ChityWest


    "You dont know true fear until you have seen your dead grandmother . . . crawling up your leg - with a knife between her teeth . .. "


    Hunter S Thompson (badly quoted)


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,136 ✭✭✭✭is_that_so


    "There is a tide in the affairs of men
    Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
    Omitted, all the voyage of their life
    Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
    On such a full sea are we now afloat,
    And we must take the current when it serves,
    Or lose our ventures. "


    Shakespeare -Julius Caesar


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,391 ✭✭✭arbeitsscheuer


    "Success is not final,
    Failure is not fatal...
    It is the courage to continue that counts"

    - Winston Spencer Churchill


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,538 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    deisemum wrote:
    Not all children lie and not all adults tell the truth.

    Those who can do
    Those who can't teach.
    Those who can do
    Those who can't teach.
    And
    Those who can't teach, administrate.


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1 jesusistheone


    "the course of true love never did run smooth"


  • Registered Users Posts: 405 ✭✭uncle ernie


    kc66 wrote:
    Keeping with Withnail & I:

    "I feel like a pig shat in my head"

    "If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision; let go before it's too late, or hold on and keep getting higher. Posing the question, how long can you keep a grip on the rope?"

    Marwood: "I've been called a ponce"

    Withnail: "What ****er said that!?"

    Massive Irish Thick: "I called him a ponce, and now I'm calling you one...PONCE!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 794 ✭✭✭ChityWest


    Marwood: "I've been called a ponce"

    Withnail: "What ****er said that!?"

    Massive Irish Thick: "I called him a ponce, and now I'm calling you one...PONCE!"

    "That fcuker shall RUE the day !!"


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,934 ✭✭✭egan007


    "Hindsight is a gobsh!te's foresite"

    ..............................................My firends dad


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,372 ✭✭✭The Bollox


    "Kryten has gon loopy, he waved a banana around calling it a female aardvark"

    Rimmer - Camille

    "I may have come up with the Ctrl - Alt - Delete sequence, but it was Bill Gates who made it famous"

    I can't remember who said that tho


  • Registered Users Posts: 405 ✭✭uncle ernie


    "You sleep with my girlfriend then you kill my fish!"
    -Eddie in friends


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,046 ✭✭✭democrates


    Collected a few from the net because my shoddy memory would ruin them (then found a few more good ones):

    Groucho Marx - Attorney at Law (radio sketch with Bing Crosbie)
    Mrs Wartcrunchle (not young or good looking): What about my damages?
    Groucho : You've got enough damages, what you need is repairs.

    Woody Allen:
    "I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."

    W.C Fields:
    "Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps horses from betting on people."
    "I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
    (Reading the Bible on his deathbed.) "Just looking for loopholes."
    (Asked if he believed in clubs for women, Fields responded:) "Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails."
    "I like children. I went to school with them."

    George C. Burns:
    "When I was a kid, the dead sea was only sick."
    "You've got to be honest. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

    Oscar Wilde:
    "One should always play fairly, when one has the winning cards."

    Hawkeye in Mash:
    "I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread...Transplant the American dream... Freedom... Achievement... Hyperacidity... Affluence... Flatulence... Technology... Tension... The inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back.
    "

    Bob Hope:
    "I don't feel old, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."

    Mark Twain:
    "
    Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight - this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one - this is business."
    "
    When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,267 ✭✭✭kc66


    "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy"
    -Tom Waits

    Spike Milligans epitaph:
    "I told you I was ill"


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,437 ✭✭✭Crucifix


    ChityWest wrote:
    Dorothy Parker had some of the best one liners ever - this one is prob one of the funnier ones
    She had a great one about a book:
    "This book should not be tossed aside lightly.....but thrown with great force"


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,046 ✭✭✭democrates


    Those who can do
    Those who can't, teach.
    Those who can't teach, administrate.
    And those who can't administrate, come here.


Advertisement