Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Do You Like Being Single?

24

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    eternal wrote: »
    Boards can be creepy. I mentioned my status ages ago in one forum and some guy four months later on AH mentioned I was single. Plus I have had men contact me on here but as soon as I texted them and whatnot they pulled away.
    I am now very adverse to talking about being single on here. I would like to meet someone though, but I probobly wouldn't have time for them realistically. I'm ill and trying to manage a degree.

    You never know, the moment you least expect it a man could just come a long and announce you are single on AH.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 8,867 ✭✭✭eternal


    guitarzero wrote: »
    eternal wrote: »
    Boards can be creepy. I mentioned my status ages ago in one forum and some guy four months later on AH mentioned I was single. Plus I have had men contact me on here but as soon as I texted them and whatnot they pulled away.
    I am now very adverse to talking about being single on here. I would like to meet someone though, but I probobly wouldn't have time for them realistically. I'm ill and trying to manage a degree.

    You never know, the moment you least expect it a man could just come a long and announce you are single on AH.
    Ah that is just what I said. Are you trying to be funny and not succeeding?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    Btw, I didnt know people were hittin up on eachother on this site:(, I thought it was strictly for smart arsery, smuggery, begrudgery and belittlery!

    ...off to spruce up my profile!:pac:!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    eternal wrote: »
    Ah that is just what I said. Are you trying to be funny and not succeeding?

    I thought it was funny, just not hahah funny:o


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,118 ✭✭✭Babybuff


    Posy wrote: »
    I think I want to have a child at some stage but don't ever want to get married.
    My mother was on her own- she was never married, so maybe I get the 'anti-marriage' gene from her. Even as a small child the idea of a 'big white wedding' made me do fake throwing-up noises! :o

    I was always afraid I would pass my own irrational fear of marriage (and the rest of the traditional stereotype stuff) onto my daughter and it turns out she's almost the total opposite. She had a hard enough time getting over her first love (at 16) and I really had to encourage her to get back on the horse. There was a guy who was madly in love with her after the fact and he was a really good bloke that I thought would be good for her but she had no interest in dating at all and she kept breaking his heart. I felt bad because I figured it was my fault for placing so much importance on being independent.

    Two years on and she's very much smitten. I know they're still young but its scary how mature they both are with regard to relationships. He had an accident about a year after he started showing an interest and until that point she kept giving him cold shoulder, the day he got hurt she couldn't be consoled and I haven't been able to keep her away from him since.
    Now they are planning everything together, college, marriage..kids! She's only 18 but they seems to have it all sewn up...as long as he does the all the cooking ;)


    (he comes fro a single parent family too coincidentally)


  • Advertisement
  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 8,867 ✭✭✭eternal


    guitarzero wrote: »
    eternal wrote: »
    Ah that is just what I said. Are you trying to be funny and not succeeding?

    I thought it was funny, just not hahah funny:o
    I had one guy chat me up and ask for a pic and me, like a fool did so. Only to not receive one back and then be told he had a girlfriend. I feel sad admitting that but it was a lousy thing to do and I never got to see what he looked like. Am more careful now.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    eternal wrote: »
    I had one guy chat me up and ask for a pic and me, like a fool did so. Only to not receive one back and then be told he had a girlfriend. I feel sad admitting that but it was a lousy thing to do and I never got to see what he looked like. Am more careful now.

    Well behind a computer screen is the best place for chancers so dont be harsh on yourself. Boards also has a good calibre of folks who you can get a good sense of so I could see why members might wanna hook up. I wondered if it ever considered having a dating element to its site but there are plenty of those around anyway.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 8,867 ✭✭✭eternal


    guitarzero wrote: »
    eternal wrote: »
    I had one guy chat me up and ask for a pic and me, like a fool did so. Only to not receive one back and then be told he had a girlfriend. I feel sad admitting that but it was a lousy thing to do and I never got to see what he looked like. Am more careful now.

    Well behind a computer screen is the best place for chancers so dont be harsh on yourself. Boards also has a good calibre of folks who you can get a good sense of so I could see why members might wanna hook up. I wondered if it ever considered having a dating element to its site but there are plenty of those around anyway.
    Yeah, thanks for that. Avoid AH though, amount of abuse I get on there is unreal.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    eternal wrote: »
    Yeah, thanks for that. Avoid AH though, amount of abuse I get on there is unreal.

    Gotta pick your fights carefully and sometimes being nice dont cut it. Hope the pic incident hasnt left you to cynical about folks though. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 106 ✭✭Redditor


    I like my own space, so not currently being in a relationship isn't bothering me all that much. Nice to be in one of course, but wouldn't lose any sleep over it now.


  • Advertisement
  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 8,867 ✭✭✭eternal


    guitarzero wrote: »
    eternal wrote: »
    Yeah, thanks for that. Avoid AH though, amount of abuse I get on there is unreal.

    Gotta pick your fights carefully and sometimes being nice dont cut it. Hope the pic incident hasnt left you to cynical about folks though. :)
    Hijacked thread alert. I can't be cynical I am doing college the second time as a mature student so have to remain open to all possibilities and sure I still hope to meet someone nice, i am a big softie. 3am softie time.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    guitarzero wrote: »
    This thread is kinda confirming my notions on dating/relationships/men and women in Ireland. Most my mates are single but certainly not by choice, great fellah's too.
    Lots of women who are single and happy aren't single by choice either.
    Do we not exhibit any characteristics that make you feel a sense of unfulfilled romance, intimacy, sex, etc? What about sex drive?
    Are you asking single women do they not find these traits in men, hence they're single? People - women and men - are usually single because they haven't met someone with whom they want to be in a serious relationship. :confused:
    Sex drive - being unattached to anyone serious doesn't rule out sex. For me anyway. Sure, it's not as frequent and it's not as good as with someone you love, but it still happens from time to time.
    Like when I see a woman that I find attractive in some way I'm immediately reminded of being single and how it sucks. For a lot of women they seem fairly immune to this here.
    Do they? :confused:
    I know women are now money earners so that aspect of dependency is gone, so was it mostly down to the wallet in the end?
    Mother of Jesus...

    In conclusion: grown women who are single and not needy and devastated about it, and earning a steady income... aren't interested in men.

    How about: they are, but just haven't met the right man, and until they do, they won't pine their life away and will enjoy it otherwise?


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,178 ✭✭✭✭fits


    Posy wrote: »
    I'm 28 and single. Almost always been happily single, not a relationshippy kind of person. :)

    However, I've recently started watching 'Sex and The City' and now feel pathetic and worthless about being 'alone'. :(
    I don't spend my life hunting for my 'perfect match' or feel defensive and pitied about being single but apparently I should. If I reach 30 and I'm not married by then I'll just have to become a recluse or join a convent according to that show. :rolleyes:

    Honestly, I do not get all the flak SATC comes in for. Samantha chose not to be in a relationship and was well into her 50's. Carrie got married at forty. Miranda was a career woman. Only Charlotte took the 'traditional' role.

    None of them were sad and pathetic because they were single at thirty. I think this is the most misinterpreted misquoted show ever! and yes there are flaws in it but it can't be blamed for everything!

    Personally, I'm into my thirties. I'm highly qualified and I live in a rural area because I love it. I have a very full life and am well equipped to lead an independent life. It doesnt stop me feeling lonely from time to time. Sometimes, I'd just love a hug.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,565 ✭✭✭southsiderosie


    fits wrote: »
    Honestly, I do not get all the flak SATC comes in for. Samantha chose not to be in a relationship and was well into her 50's. Carrie got married at forty. Miranda was a career woman. Only Charlotte took the 'traditional' role.

    None of them were sad and pathetic because they were single at thirty. I think this is the most misinterpreted misquoted show ever! and yes there are flaws in it but it can't be blamed for everything!

    Personally, I'm into my thirties. I'm highly qualified and I live in a rural area because I love it. I have a very full life and am well equipped to lead an independent life. It doesnt stop me feeling lonely from time to time. Sometimes, I'd just love a hug.

    One of the main problems with SATC is that the show started with the premise that women could have rich, fulfilling lives even if they were single...but then the show ended with everyone in domestic bliss (ok, and Samantha just in bliss).


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,953 ✭✭✭Vinta81


    I used to love being single and was a bit promiscuous for a while. But now I'm really in a state of mind to find someone, I keep picking the the wrong ones and I know they say what you want will find you when you're not looking but how can I not look? I'm sick of the club/bar scene I just want to find someone, all my friends are starting to settle down a bit and I'm like the lone wolf of the pack.


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,178 ✭✭✭✭fits


    One of the main problems with SATC is that the show started with the premise that women could have rich, fulfilling lives even if they were single...but then the show ended with everyone in domestic bliss (ok, and Samantha just in bliss).

    Did it really? I dont remember that from it at all, and even so, it still left Samantha leading a rich and fulfilling life as a singleton, her choice.

    Its a fairytale, I just dont understand why people blame so much on it!


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,691 ✭✭✭Lia_lia


    Yep, love being single. Not a relationship person at all. Much prefer being alone.

    I never really get too close to people (anymore) because I have a bit of a fear of relationships. They turn me mad! Some people are so obsessed with finding the perfect partner and don't think they can be happy single. I personally find that outlook bizarre. But that's just me.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 27,502 Mod ✭✭✭✭Posy


    fits wrote: »
    Honestly, I do not get all the flak SATC comes in for. Samantha chose not to be in a relationship and was well into her 50's. Carrie got married at forty. Miranda was a career woman. Only Charlotte took the 'traditional' role..
    I know it gets a lot of criticism, as any high profile show will I suppose!
    The last two episodes I seen involved Carrie having her birthday and despite being with her friends, just couldn't be happy because she was without a man and Miranda commenting at how everyone at a gathering obviously pitied her because she was probably the last single woman in her thirties left on the planet! Am I just oblivious to the 'stigma' of being single they keep going on about!? :o

    I still think it's a good programme though- I like that Samantha is happy to be single and just have a good time. I wonder did she ever have a one night stand with Joey Tribbiani at some stage? :pac:


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 27,502 Mod ✭✭✭✭Posy


    Lia_lia wrote: »
    I never really get too close to people (anymore) because I have a bit of a fear of relationships. They turn me mad!
    I get like that with my fear of relationships.

    'HEY, HOW'S THINGS?
    HAD A GR8 TIME THE OTHER DAY
    SHUD MEET AGAIN SOON'

    "What??? What does he mean 'how's things???' Jesus, why am I being interrogated like this? He wants to meet again soon?! But we JUST went out two days ago- why am I being suffocated like this!?" :eek: :mad:


    :o


  • Registered Users Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    Lia_lia wrote: »
    Yep, love being single. Not a relationship person at all. Much prefer being alone.

    I never really get too close to people (anymore) because I have a bit of a fear of relationships. They turn me mad! Some people are so obsessed with finding the perfect partner and don't think they can be happy single. I personally find that outlook bizarre. But that's just me.

    I like the company, the getting to know each other bit, the giddy meeting someone new part, but I hate the stupid sh1t you wind up fighting about, the silent treatment, all the crap that goes along with relationships, right now I'm not in the place to find someone, nor am I looking, yet strangely women like this, the past few times I've gone out with a "I'm not bothered" attitude I've gotten chatted up, its mental! :confused:


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 548 ✭✭✭Seomra Mushie


    My BF just told me to try giving him some space every one in a while. We are in an LDR at the moment, only seeing each other at weekends, so I MAY have gone a teensy bit overboard on the texting front. :o So right now, I am ambivalent towards relationships. :pac:


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 8,867 ✭✭✭eternal


    I need some F.U.N, sick of this crap. Where are all the hunks.


  • Registered Users Posts: 22 KateMiddleton


    guitarzero wrote: »
    Do we not exhibit any characteristics that make you feel a sense of unfulfilled romance, intimacy, sex, etc? What about sex drive?

    :)

    That's certainly something i miss about being single! I think you are right about how we are separated through school we don't really get the notion of being friends.

    I'm fairly happily single although I've just met someone recently that might develop into something. However I had a toxic 10 year relationship so i'm just finding my feet now. Thankfully it was never very intense and i kept all my own friends and used ot socialise alot on my own so it hasn't been that much of a transition.


  • Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭MiseryCat


    Being single is ok but it can be lonely in the way,It would be great to meet a kinda nice looking guy to snuggle with,have fun ,great conversation do lots of stuff together AaHhwww! Romance.

    or plan B

    Drive around in a big white van ,Watch a good looking guy you like, Get out of the van to bash him on the head to knock him out THEN tie him up and torture him until he loves you . LOL LOL LOL ha! ha!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,551 ✭✭✭panda100


    On the whole I do like being single as I like doing my own thing most of the time and am very happy in my own company. I have been single for quite a while now though and am definatly missing the physical perks of a relationship.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,802 ✭✭✭beks101


    Lia_lia wrote: »
    Yep, love being single. Not a relationship person at all. Much prefer being alone.

    I never really get too close to people (anymore) because I have a bit of a fear of relationships. They turn me mad! Some people are so obsessed with finding the perfect partner and don't think they can be happy single. I personally find that outlook bizarre. But that's just me.

    Yeah I'm sort of on the same page.

    Not that I don't get close to people, but to date it's been pretty exclusively family and friends that have fulfilled that role, which works because I pretty much know they'll be there unconditionally.

    To date in my life I've not been a relationship person and don't feel this pressing need to share my life with someone, though I'm aware it could change at any moment. I have great friendships, an amazing family, a cool job and I meet guys and get laid, works for me :)

    Some day, maybe someone will inspire that leap of commitment in me, but this idea that I'm half the person I could be or that there's some big void in my life...perplexing.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,329 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    At the moment I am happy enough to be single. I am not ready to settle down just yet but I would like to sometime in the future. Say in my 30's. I love to have children but whether I have them in or outside of marriage doesn't matter to me any more. It used to matter that I wait till marriage but now I find I couldn't be bothered whether I get married or not or have kids in or out of marriage. I think its nearly better to have kids at a certain age rather than waiting too long. Kids can bring more joy in life than a marriage but I wouldn't say no to marriage either if it it happens it happens if not what does it matter.

    I enjoy my space, independence and having a life of my own as well as spending time with friends and family. I am currently focusing on building up my career and further my education so love can wait. I like being on my own too not having to depend on others all the time and and the other way around too but I do like company though. It takes me time to get to know people and trust them fully so getting into a relationship at all would take some time for me. I like to be close to someone but don't like to be so close that I feel smothered!

    But if I happen to meet someone or 'the one' in the meantime I wouldn't say no to settling down even if it meant it might change my life plans a bit...so what. Life is about taking risks...life would be boring otherwise!

    I haven't met anyone I am willing to settle down with yet or even have met the right guy though. So fussy so like to have the odd bit of fun of meeting new and different people.

    It freaks me out at the number of people I know, friends and former classmates of mine either having kids, married or engaged though. It scares me a bit that I haven't anyone to share that kind of life yet but I just haven't met the right person to fit in with my life I suppose.

    One major thing is that my friends and family approve of the person I love and loves me back too. Not just one sided. I'd have to be very much in love and fond of and fancy that person to the extent of committing to them.

    So for the moment yes I am happy to be single but don't think I be happy to be single forever put it that way!


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,713 ✭✭✭✭Novella


    guitarzero wrote: »
    Do we not exhibit any characteristics that make you feel a sense of unfulfilled romance, intimacy, sex, etc? What about sex drive?

    I certainly don't feel like that. It's probably just me but I am way more likely to feel that sense of unfulfilled romance and intimacy whilst in a relationship because that's when I'd expect it. I mean, in my last relationship, I definitely felt like that. Sometimes it was like living in a house with a stranger who just happened to sleep in my bed at night.

    I know my experience there is completely on the bad end of the spectrum but overall, for me, relationships have often emphasised loneliness.

    As for sex? Again, I could be alone here, but I think sex is something that the more I get, the more I want so out of a relationship and getting it less, I guess I just want it less. Not that I don't have a sex drive but I don't miss sex as much as I thought I would. I'd like to have it, sure, but only with someone I like.

    Like when I see a woman that I find attractive in some way I'm immediately reminded of being single and how it sucks. For a lot of women they seem fairly immune to this here.

    Immune to what? Feeling that being single sucks? I never feel like that 'cause I don't think it does suck.
    I know women are now money earners so that aspect of dependency is gone, so was it mostly down to the wallet in the end?

    :)

    :eek: I can honestly say that for me money never was and is not a factor whatsoever.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    I've been single all my life more or less. Never bothered me but the last year or so I've been thinking it would be great to be in a relationship.

    It would have to be a relationship where we had fun, still got our 'me' time and independence etc.

    But I think I'd make a pretty damn good girlfriend :P So it's frustrating not knowing where your going wrong


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 9,960 ✭✭✭cena


    It would be nice to have some one to talk to. Etc. I feel lonely at times. Any single girls out there p.m me.:) Lol. Would prefer a lovely American women.


Advertisement