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Why do people treat their children like adults?

  • 30-08-2010 11:59am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    I'm not talking about dignity and respect, everyone should be treated that way, I'm talking about giving them power over their schedules.

    I work booking kids into classes and every day I'm left gaping in disbelief as yummy-mummies ask their 4 year olds "Would you like to do the class on Monday or Tuesday?" What the hell? It's a toddler, it doesn't know what a Monday is! And all the time the kid is just repeating 'No, no no', and they have to have a specific teacher teaching or the child 'won't go'.

    What the hell happened to mammies saying "You're doing this on Tuesday"? What happened to them tearing the kid a new one if they refused to go? I distinctly remember when I was a child getting lectured on how much lessons cost, and how I'd made a show of her with my feckology, and if I didn't get in there now and pay attention I'd feel the back of her hand.

    Is this what's wrong with children? Have they been given too much control by wishy-washy parents and therefore gotten the impression that they can do and have and say exactly what they want?

    [/rant]


«1

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    They are not children, they are little people....


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭irishgrover


    kylith wrote: »
    I'm not talking about dignity and respect, everyone should be treated that way, I'm talking about giving them power over their schedules.

    I work booking kids into classes and every day I'm left gaping in disbelief as yummy-mummies ask their 4 year olds "Would you like to do the class on Monday or Tuesday?" What the hell? It's a toddler, it doesn't know what a Monday is! And all the time the kid is just repeating 'No, no no', and they have to have a specific teacher teaching or the child 'won't go'.

    What the hell happened to mammies saying "You're doing this on Tuesday"? What happened to them tearing the kid a new one if they refused to go? I distinctly remember when I was a child getting lectured on how much lessons cost, and how I'd made a show of her with my feckology, and if I didn't get in there now and pay attention I'd feel the back of her hand.

    Is this what's wrong with children? Have they been given too much control by wishy-washy parents and therefore gotten the impression that they can do and have and say exactly what they want?

    [/rant]


    If I have any preference whatsoever, or it impacts me, then I make the decision and inform them of it.
    However if in reality there is a situation where there are a number of possibilities, and the outcome has no effect whatsoever on me, then more often then not, I will ask my kids (all under 8) what they prefer.
    No harm in getting them to think and make decisions for themselves.

    However, as I said, if I have a preference, I tell then what they are doing...


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭azezil




  • Registered Users Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭bullpost


    Easy enough to recognise as well. They usually call the parents by their first names.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    kylith wrote: »
    Is this what's wrong with children? Have they been given too much control by wishy-washy parents and therefore gotten the impression that they can do and have and say exactly what they want?


    http://www.organicmechanic.org/scratch/flies1.jpg


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭cynder


    I have a soon to be 11 year old, She thinks she is an adult and i have at least 1 argument aday where i have to remind her she is a child and will be treated as such till she is at least 16.

    She went to dublin to visit her 3 aunts and came back with a pair of 3 inch high heal boots ( iwould not have let her buy them). She is permitted to were eye shadow and lip gloss but no foundation (untill at least 15).

    Kids are growing up so fast these days.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock



    Kids are growing up so fast these days.

    Take her out of school and put her to work like the good old days. That'll learn her.


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,715 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    As I understand it, a child's got more bones than a grown up's got, so they probably fear that, were the situation to turn violent, they would lose a fight with the child due to it's higher bone count.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,138 ✭✭✭Archeron


    What about Benjamin Button? Should he be treated like an adult or a child?


  • Registered Users Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    Children are the adults of tomorrow!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    Archeron wrote: »
    What about Benjamin Button? Should he be treated like an adult or a child?

    That question never gets old.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,112 ✭✭✭flyton5


    Leads to situations like this...who lets a 12yr old girl out after midnight?


    http://www.independent.ie/national-news/courts/teenager-remanded-on-charge-of-murdering-girl-2317018.html


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭kelle


    stovelid wrote: »

    That link doesn't work!
    flyton5 wrote: »
    Leads to situations like this...who lets a 12yr old girl out after midnight?


    http://www.independent.ie/national-news/courts/teenager-remanded-on-charge-of-murdering-girl-2317018.html

    Exactly what i thought when I read the thread title! The papers are going to town on her.


  • Registered Users Posts: 43,017 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    And they call their children "guys":mad:


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,112 ✭✭✭flyton5


    And they call their children "guys":mad:



    I see Diagio stole your birthday too....we should rise up and take it back...


    *i realise this is completely off topic...but it's a pressing matter....




  • Kids calling their parents by their first names grinds my gears as well. Entirely the parents fault, as well.

    Kids are not our equals. They are frickin kids


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Why do people treat their children like adults? Dunno...

    Why do some people without children and still living at home with mummy and daddy consider themselves experts in parenting? It's just a funny old world, I guess. :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Why do people treat their children like adults? Dunno...

    Why do some people without children and still living at home with mummy and daddy consider themselves experts in parenting? It's just a funny old world, I guess. :)

    http://www.briansarchery.com/newpics/arrow_target.gif


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,184 ✭✭✭storm2811


    I was talked to like I was older but it was always up to my parents what I was doing or where I was going obviously.
    I'd bawl my eyes out but it wouldn't make a difference.:pac:


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 34,942 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    stovelid wrote: »

    Error 404 = no flies on you?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Error 404 = no flies on you?

    Works here in my browser.

    On reflection it was a lame joke so perhaps it was divine intervention.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭cynder


    WindSock wrote: »
    Take her out of school and put her to work like the good old days. That'll learn her.


    She started at the stables last week, on saturdays she mucks out and takes people on trecks, feeds the horses and brushes them. Theonly thing is she found herself a boyfriend there, they went on a date to the canteen adn had a pack of taytoes........ how cute, in 3 years time i will be lucky if she tells me.....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 103 ✭✭Miss Ogyne


    Far to many parents now a days (usually mothers) treat their child like their best friend and then the child uses that to manuplate them for example "If you don't give me what I want I won't like you anymore". There's nothing wrong with having a special bond with your child but it should be of an "I'm the parent and you are the child so my decision will always be the final one" nature and not of a "We are equal friends so all decisions can be negotiated" nature. It's like they think that if they don't do as the child says then the child will grow up hating them.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭cynder


    flyton5 wrote: »
    Leads to situations like this...who lets a 12yr old girl out after midnight?


    http://www.independent.ie/national-news/courts/teenager-remanded-on-charge-of-murdering-girl-2317018.html



    Who lets a 12 year old after 9pm, let alone midnight!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 765 ✭✭✭yungwan


    Maybe because talking to 5 year olds like they are babies and stupid will not help them develop.

    I think parents who talk down to their children and use baby talk when they should speak to them properly are much worse.

    "Here Conor, have a sausie wossie, dont let the doggie woogy get it"

    Like wtf?! I always spoke to my 7 year old like an adult, because guess what? Speaking to them like babies does not lead to them growing up intelligently with good grammer. My son speaks very well for his age and he is able to make decisions himself because thats how I brought him up.

    Do you even have kids OP?

    I do however agree that children should not feel they are 100% equal in your relationship. When you say no, it should mean no, and a child should not be able to manipulate you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭cynder


    yungwan wrote: »
    Maybe because talking to 5 year olds like they are babies and stupid will not help them develop.

    I think parents who talk down to their children and use baby talk when they should speak to them properly are much worse.

    "Here Conor, have a sausie wossie, dont let the doggie woogy get it"

    Like wtf?! I always spoke to my 7 year old like an adult, because guess what? Speaking to them like babies does not lead to them growing up intelligently with good grammer. My son speaks very well for his age and he is able to make decisions himself because thats how I brought him up.

    Do you even have kids OP?


    I talk to my 5 year old like he is 5, not 2 and not 10 or 15 or even 18.
    (Ive been told he is very very bright)

    i talk to my 3 year old like he is 3 but sometimes i have to talk to him as if he was younger as he has a speech and language delay and does not fully comprehend what we say.....

    At the end of the day a child is a child and should be treated as such. A child should not be ruling the roost.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 765 ✭✭✭yungwan


    At the end of the day a child is a child and should be treated as such. A child should not be ruling the roost.

    Yes, treated like a child. Completely agree. I do not allow him to overrule me on anything, or make a decision on something I do not agree with. I have no problem saying no to anything I deem inappropriate.

    All I am saying is that I speak to my son very clearly and never "dumb down" conversations.

    I use words I would use to speak to anybody else, and if he doesnt understand a word I explain it. This teaches him to speak properly I think. I also mean from the point of view of explaining things, I will always explain why we are doing something, so he learns about life in general.

    But each to their own.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 163 ✭✭kiwi123


    it is so frustrating! When i'm at work and collecting children's food orders the parents will litearlly stand there for a good six or seven minutes letting their child decide what they want to order themselves. I feel like saying get a grip on your life your kid is three, it will literally eat fluff off the ground, just pick something!

    Also i think giving a child choice in relation to thing like food / what they're wearing / what they want to do for the day ends up with a child being spoiled.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,184 ✭✭✭storm2811


    yungwan wrote: »
    Maybe because talking to 5 year olds like they are babies and stupid will not help them develop.

    I think parents who talk down to their children and use baby talk when they should speak to them properly are much worse.

    "Here Conor, have a sausie wossie, dont let the doggie woogy get it"

    Like wtf?! I always spoke to my 7 year old like an adult, because guess what? Speaking to them like babies does not lead to them growing up intelligently with good grammer. My son speaks very well for his age and he is able to make decisions himself because thats how I brought him up.

    Do you even have kids OP?

    I do however agree that children should not feel they are 100% equal in your relationship. When you say no, it should mean no, and a child should not be able to manipulate you.

    Yeah my mum did the same to me and brothers,like if were going to eat something nasty she wouldn't say "No,no,that's yacky,yacky!" she'd say "Don't eat that you'll get sick!"


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  • Registered Users Posts: 23,953 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    kylith wrote: »
    I'm not talking about dignity and respect, everyone should be treated that way, I'm talking about giving them power over their schedules.

    I work booking kids into classes and every day I'm left gaping in disbelief as yummy-mummies ask their 4 year olds "Would you like to do the class on Monday or Tuesday?" What the hell? It's a toddler, it doesn't know what a Monday is! And all the time the kid is just repeating 'No, no no', and they have to have a specific teacher teaching or the child 'won't go'.

    What the hell happened to mammies saying "You're doing this on Tuesday"? What happened to them tearing the kid a new one if they refused to go? I distinctly remember when I was a child getting lectured on how much lessons cost, and how I'd made a show of her with my feckology, and if I didn't get in there now and pay attention I'd feel the back of her hand.

    Is this what's wrong with children? Have they been given too much control by wishy-washy parents and therefore gotten the impression that they can do and have and say exactly what they want?

    [/rant]

    I think that you should take some of the blame, as you don't seem to be showing the parents who's boss when it comes to scheduling.

    You should exert your authority, and tell them "It's either Tuesday, or you feck off somewhere else with your rug-rat!"


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