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Jokes not everyone will get

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,150 ✭✭✭kumate_champ07


    <snip>


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,150 ✭✭✭kumate_champ07


    <snip>


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,772 ✭✭✭civis_liberalis


    I thought this thread was called "Jokes not everyone will get" and not "Stuff I read on Sickipedia".

    I didn't get the UVF joke btw...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,150 ✭✭✭kumate_champ07


    Stuff I read on Sickipedia.

    awesome i just googled that!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,316 ✭✭✭✭amacachi


    I thought this thread was called "Jokes not everyone will get" and not "Stuff I read on Sickipedia".

    I didn't get the UVF joke btw...

    "An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?" = Do you think that man is in the UVF?

    "Ni ceapaim." Means "I don't think so." However it sounds like "kneecap him." When read with a northern accent.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 15,258 ✭✭✭✭Rabies


    posts snipped

    read the charter


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,150 ✭✭✭kumate_champ07


    Rabies wrote: »
    posts snipped

    read the charter
    you didnt get the jokes?


  • Registered Users Posts: 15,258 ✭✭✭✭Rabies


    you didnt get the jokes?

    I did.

    You didn't read the charter.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,097 ✭✭✭✭zuroph


    How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A Fish.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭passive


    staker wrote: »
    Two lesbianns in a bath.
    One says, "Where's the soap?", the other replies
    "Does, doesn't it?"

    ...I can't figure this out at all?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    Or

    How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

    To get to the other side.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭thebullkf


    passive wrote: »
    ...I can't figure this out at all?


    wears the soap...wears it out????


    i think!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,454 ✭✭✭mink_man


    wears the soap...wears it out????


    i think!!!

    i dont get it either still!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭thebullkf


    mink_man wrote: »
    i dont get it either still!



    bumpin-n-grindingthe vag off each other,,

    a clean joke:p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,454 ✭✭✭mink_man


    what does the soap stand for??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭994


    chin_grin wrote: »
    "What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing."

    I sent that around to most of my mates....about say...60% texted back going "what?". Facepalm.

    And another;

    "Did you hear that exaggerations are up a million percent this year?"

    I read one, "Today we did an exaggeration exam in school. We had to answer a million questions and if we got one wrong, the teacher killed us."


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,538 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    How did our old currency get it's name ?
    It rhymes with bank manager.


  • Registered Users Posts: 92 ✭✭aboutimeilogin!


    i just beat my son in a game of knuckles,
    he's such a sore loser!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    thebullkf wrote: »
    whats the diff. between an apple and an orange?

    they're both green.












    except for the orange.

    Should it not be 'what have an apple and an orange got in common?

    they're both green.....









    except for the orange'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,115 ✭✭✭Pal


    passive wrote: »
    ...I can't figure this out at all?

    use your finger


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35 cloudymouse


    There's 3 types of people in the world that understand maths , those that can and those that can't.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,150 ✭✭✭kumate_champ07


    mink_man wrote: »
    what does the soap stand for??

    cleanliness and purity and equal rights for all bathers


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,736 ✭✭✭tech77


    V/I is futile.

    Ohmigod.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,736 ✭✭✭tech77


    sedantez wrote: »
    Q. Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

    A. Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon....

    whereas ...

    Michael Jackson sleeps with small children.

    ^Good example of an anti-joke.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,736 ✭✭✭tech77


    I thought this thread was called "Jokes not everyone will get".

    I didn't get the UVF joke btw...

    Well then at least that joke belongs here :cool:


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭stereo_steve


    GiftofGab wrote: »
    Should it not be 'what have an apple and an orange got in common?

    they're both green.....









    except for the orange'


    Nope, he had the question right but the wrong answer ...

    Q. whats the diff. between an apple and an orange?

    A. There's no such thing as an apple bast*rd


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,885 ✭✭✭Stabshauptmann


    FruitLover wrote: »
    どうして鶏はメビウスの輪を横切ったの?

    同じ側にいくためさ。
    I think I got the word joke out of that. Anyone with Japanese care to translate?


  • Posts: 0 Melany Poor Quid


    What's blue and square?

    An orange in disguise.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,680 ✭✭✭confusticated


    Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,377 ✭✭✭An Fear Aniar


    ++ copied and pasted++


    Two hydrogen atoms are walking along, and one of them says to the other: "Damn! I just lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "I'm positive."

    ----


    Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, "Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it's funny or not?" Gödel replies, "We can't know that because we're inside the joke." Chomsky says, "Of course it's funny. You're just telling it wrong."

    ----


    Heisenberg was driving down the Autobahn whereupon he was pulled over by a policeman. The policeman asked, "Do you know how fast you were going back there? Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."


    .


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