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Trying to conceive/Planned parenthood/Assisted Reproduction Chat thread.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 299 ✭✭applesock


    Custard Cream so sorry to hear that & Neyite so sad , take care of yourselfs.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,169 ✭✭✭Grawns


    That sucks Neyite. I am so sorry for your loss.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,872 ✭✭✭Sittingpretty


    Custard cream, Neyite, so so so sorry for your losses x


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,260 ✭✭✭Mink


    Neyite that's so terrible. Definitely right to take time off, you and your partner just need to look after each other right now & take the time you need.

    I'm glad your other little bean is moving around nicely!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭Digs


    Oh god Neyite so sorry to hear your news too. Life can be so unfair. Take care of yourself and your partner.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,029 ✭✭✭yellow hen


    Neyite, my thoughts are with you and your partner. Take care. xx


  • Registered Users Posts: 382 ✭✭Goodne


    Custard Cream & Neyite; I am so sorry for your loss. I have said a prayer for you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭Fri.Day


    Custard Cream I`m so so sorry for your loss, I didn`t have a D+C but I had my m/c on Aug 6th and got my period on sept 12th (5 weeks2days later)
    Also I ovulated on aug 28th (21days after m/c) so "tried" again even though the Dr said to wait 1 cycle...
    Neyite, That such good news and bad news altogether, try to enjoy the good and take some time for the little one too. After 29 cycles to be at this point I know you are tough enough but you are allowed to grieve, I`ll say a prayer for you and your family x x
    Sh1t day for myself today, got period with really bad pain, so with a bit of motivational temper I went out for a 10mile run along Galway Bay and lunch afterwards with a friend.
    Cycle day 1 :mad:


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Fri.day, sorry to hear this month was unsuccessful for you...its a horrible feeling.
    but on another note....10mile run!!! my god woman, thats incredible! dont think i could run the length of meself :D How you feeling now? my first day does generally be pretty rough too


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭DetectivFoxtrot


    Neyite and Custard, am so so sorry for your loss. I've lit a candle and am thinking of you both and your little angels.
    xoxo


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭dublinlady


    Custard cream - I'm so so sorry, I hope your ok, take your time in coming to terms with it... It took me the guts of a year, it's so sad. I miscarried in my first pregnancy at 7 weeks, period came after 35 days.

    Neyite.... I'm so so sorry. Please know I truly understand what your going thru. I'm now 21 weeks pregnant with one baby with it's precious twin dying at 9 weeks. It's still so so difficult, at my big scan we could still see the tiny sac and the little baby was still measuring 7 weeks.. So it had gotten smaller but still there. Knowing that's sitting beside my precious little girl is just horrifying. We found out the sex at the scan as we needed some big distraction to try and keep it a happy moment. I now wonder what the sex of the other baby was tho and if they would have been identical. I'll always always be sad about it. I'm obviously so happy to still be pregnant but that doesn't change the fact that you've had a miscarriage and your baby has died. Don't feel you shouldn't be allowed to grieve as you normally would. It's such a conflicting time. I've moved thru the pregnancy with people saying things like ' are u sure it's not twins haha' etc so you have to prepare yourself for that, people don't mean to be cruel they just don't know. I just say yes yes we've had a scan definitely just one and try not to think about it. Sometimes it's just too hard and you feel a bit devastated. That's normal. Doesn't help that Tracy frickin Barlow off corrie pregnant with twins now either!! That practically threw me over the edge!!! I don't want my baby to ever know they were a twin.. It's a v.personal choice but I'd rather protect them from the pain of it and the constant what if's. So I was glad only my family knew. I'm so so sorry. It's horrible. I know when I give birth I'll be devastated delivering the placenta as I know the other twin will be visible upon it. :-( it's so hard to come to terms with.
    Please pm me any time with any questions or just to talk it thru. I promise I'll always be here for you as it's a very strange thing to go thru so please know your not on your own. X x x


  • Registered Users Posts: 32,513 ✭✭✭✭Lucyfur


    Neyite and Custard Cream I'm so so sorry, there are no words but if either of you ever need a chat, my number is just a PM away xxx

    I'm lighting a candle too x


  • Registered Users Posts: 361 ✭✭Play Bunny


    Neyite wrote: »
    Custard, I am so sorry to hear your news. My sincere condolences to you and your husband on your loss.

    I got sad news this morning too - one of my little twins stopped growing at 8 weeks, The little one I was worried about. I know I should be happy that I still have one very healthy baby, and I am, but today I need to grieve for my little one that was only with us for a short while. My emotions are all mixed up - The nurse pointed out the twin that was moving around - the head, the arms, the feet, and I was so proud, yet at the same time my heart was breaking because the other little one was so still, and small.

    I had to pull a sickie after our early morning scan. If I had to listen to my supervisor flap on about a dumb spreadsheet or report today, I might have cheerfully killed her. My partner is in bits, I have never seen him cry before, but today he is so upset. Which sets me off. Today I have cried so much for my little fragile child that was too delicate for this world.

    neyite ,- really sorry for ur loss :( its hearbreaking :(
    custard cream, so sorry for your loss as well

    my thoughts are with you both, i dont post often but like to check in


  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Thankyou all so much for your thoughts and prayers, I am so thankful that I have wonderful women as friends here to help me. It mean so much.
    dublinlady wrote: »
    Neyite.... I'm so so sorry. Please know I truly understand what your going thru. I'm now 21 weeks pregnant with one baby with it's precious twin dying at 9 weeks. It's still so so difficult, at my big scan we could still see the tiny sac and the little baby was still measuring 7 weeks.. So it had gotten smaller but still there. Knowing that's sitting beside my precious little girl is just horrifying. We found out the sex at the scan as we needed some big distraction to try and keep it a happy moment. I now wonder what the sex of the other baby was tho and if they would have been identical. I'll always always be sad about it. I'm obviously so happy to still be pregnant but that doesn't change the fact that you've had a miscarriage and your baby has died. Don't feel you shouldn't be allowed to grieve as you normally would. It's such a conflicting time. I've moved thru the pregnancy with people saying things like ' are u sure it's not twins haha' etc so you have to prepare yourself for that, people don't mean to be cruel they just don't know. I just say yes yes we've had a scan definitely just one and try not to think about it. Sometimes it's just too hard and you feel a bit devastated. That's normal. Doesn't help that Tracy frickin Barlow off corrie pregnant with twins now either!! That practically threw me over the edge!!! I don't want my baby to ever know they were a twin.. It's a v.personal choice but I'd rather protect them from the pain of it and the constant what if's. So I was glad only my family knew. I'm so so sorry. It's horrible. I know when I give birth I'll be devastated delivering the placenta as I know the other twin will be visible upon it. :-( it's so hard to come to terms with.
    Please pm me any time with any questions or just to talk it thru. I promise I'll always be here for you as it's a very strange thing to go thru so please know your not on your own. X x x

    DL, you answered many questions I didnt know I had, thankyou so much for your kind words. I had assumed that we would tell people that there were twins but now just a single baby but I realise now that it would cloud our announcement of good news in a few weeks, so we might discuss it with family after the happy commotion comes down a bit. When you mentioned not telling your daughter, it was also something we didnt consider today (I guess we still need time to think everything through) so we are going to have a think about it individually and maybe have a chat about what we think at the weekend.

    Your comments about the placenta reminded me of something - My sister took home all hers and buried it in her garden with a tree over it. Its an old maori tradition in NZ where she is. There are many traditions linking the placenta with the child and the earth, or to honour the role the placenta played in nourishing the child. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placenta
    We decided this evening that we will take the placenta along with our little twin home from the hospital to bury and choose a nice tree for remembrance, and plant it as a resting place for our twin. We have a site we plan to build on, it was always going to be home, so its a comfort to us bring him/her home in a way. Is this something that would interest you, as a little memorial? Certainly Irish hospitals do it as there are many more nationalities giving birth here. My sis had her last one in Mayo, and they didnt bat an eyelid when she asked to bring the placenta home.

    The heads up about the twin comments is appreciated too - I never even thought. Since I am quite titchy, in late pregnancy I will look bigger so I will probably get a few of those.

    I am better than I was this morning - it was just such a shock. It will just take time to get my head around. I still have one little brilliant baby there, who was moving loads on the monitor so I think of that to smile.

    Thanks again everyone.. what would I do without you all?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭longinforababy


    Custard Cream and Neyite I am so sorry for both your losses.

    Did anyone listen to Ray D'arcy this morning re IVF?

    Friend of mine on another forum is in the same situation as Mary, the first lady to speak and feels she is all alone, has not come across anyone else in her situation, failed ivf's, too old to adopt etc... anyone know of an active forum I can pass on to her?


  • Registered Users Posts: 168 ✭✭Fri.Day


    Neyite, my friend who ran with me today also miscarried a twin, her daughter is now 15. Most of her family knew about it, 2 years ago someone let it slip so keep this in mind if you`re telling family.
    I could find out more info for you (in your own good time) and PM you if that`s any good?
    Oh and I`m also in galway if you ever need a cuppa/walk/shoulder/punchbag x x


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Neyite I am so sorry to hear about your twin. All I can do is send big hugs. Take time to grieve and acknowledge the loss and try to enjoy the one you have left. Easier said than done.


  • Registered Users Posts: 35 irishgal2012


    Neyite and Custard Cream-Im so sorry to hear about your losses. Almost in tears here just reading about it so can only imagine what you are going through. Take care of yourselves, you'll be in my thoughts xxx


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,185 ✭✭✭Tigeress


    Custard Cream I am truly sorry for your loss :( my thoughts are with you and your OH..

    Neyite I'm so very sorry Hun, it's just awful news.. You're right to focus on your healthy baby but also take the time to grieve with your OH, my thoughts are with you & I think the tree planting is an amazing and very thoughtful thing to do.. We released balloons with notes attached for our two lost angels & it in it's weird way helped us come to terms and move on but you never forget x


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,872 ✭✭✭Sittingpretty


    Neyite, the tree planting is a lovely idea :)

    Tigress, love the releasing of balloons too, it's such a lovely way to remember the little people that you never get to know :(


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭Digs


    Hi girls,

    On the tww myself (I think).....having a bit of disasterous month to be honest. Bought a thermometer at the beginning in an effort to track my BBT but I think in my effort to save a few euro and buy a cheap one I did myself no favours. The temps it's giving me are all over the place so I think I'll have to get a new one and start a fresh next month.

    We BD CD8 and then not until CD18 as I was sick and feeling rotten in the between time. Am afraid I have missed ovulation as I was having pains in my left side and spotting between CD13 & CD17. Sore boobs arrived yesterday and am now on CD19 so am completely confused as to whether or not I have missed ovu or the pains were preceeding it, I still seem to have some ewcm CONFUSION!!!!!!!......haven't gotten around to buying ovu sticks yet...not holding out much hope for this month, just don't have "that feeling"

    Sorry for whinging, am just feeling a little down today and I fear I am also speaking in tongues so excuse the rambling...

    Hope everyone else is well and fingers crossed for all you girls this month. Iguana and Mink I hope it's your month, things are looking good. Bummer you're out this month Fri.day fingers crossed for next :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Nicky987


    Bit of advice please ladies....

    So on tuesday I thought I had my first spontaneous period four weeks after my last following hsg test. I also passed a clot but then that was it.... Nothing. Lasted about 15 mins if that. So was this a period or what was it??? Very confused.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,880 ✭✭✭caprilicious


    Custard Cream I am so terribly sorry for your loss and that of your partner. Take care of yourself x

    Neyite I'm so sorry for the loss of your twin. I think the idea of bringing the placenta home is lovely and a touching reminder.
    I pray that the rest of your pregnancy is a healthy one, I know that is no consolation for your loss x


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭longinforababy


    Nicky987 wrote: »
    Bit of advice please ladies....

    So on tuesday I thought I had my first spontaneous period four weeks after my last following hsg test. I also passed a clot but then that was it.... Nothing. Lasted about 15 mins if that. So was this a period or what was it??? Very confused.
    Jees, I really dont know.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 12,909 Mod ✭✭✭✭iguana


    Fri.Day wrote: »
    In the book "taking control of your fertility" she says when you ovulate outta your right side you will feel a little swelling/lump in the groin area on the same side afterwards, like a swelled lymph node or some point there!!! ;)

    If you get the chance could you expand on this. I won't have a chance to buy the book in the next few days but the pain has stepped up a gear tonight (it's almost like a badly pulled muscle now) and I'd love to know a bit more about it. Maybe stop my brain going into overdrive about all of the negative possibilities.


  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Nicky987 wrote: »
    Bit of advice please ladies....

    So on tuesday I thought I had my first spontaneous period four weeks after my last following hsg test. I also passed a clot but then that was it.... Nothing. Lasted about 15 mins if that. So was this a period or what was it??? Very confused.

    Nikky - I have never heard of that before. Is it possible at all that it was implantation bleed? It sounds more like spotting to me rather than a period. It would be really lovely if it turned out to be implantation bleed :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,124 ✭✭✭wolfpawnat


    Neyite and Custard Cream I am so very sorry for your and your partners losses. No words can express how you feel :( I was in tears about your tiny twin Neyite :(


  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    wolfpawnat wrote: »
    Neyite and Custard Cream I am so very sorry for your and your partners losses. No words can express how you feel :( I was in tears about your tiny twin Neyite :(

    Thank you so much. I spent most of Wed in tears, but am a lot more composed the last couple of days. Certainly the fact I still have one little healthy one in there makes it easier to bear. I havent lost everything - I am still pregnant which we for so long wanted, so mixed blessings I guess.

    I never knew that vanishing twin syndrome was so common -thanks to the surge in early scans they are more and more known, as they usually vanish prior to 12 weeks, anyone who does not get scanned until later may never know that there were more than one in there. They estimate that 1 in 8 pregnancies begin as a multiple, yet twins are relatively unusual. Infertility drugs and also being over 35 increases the odds of multiple fertilisation, and therefore VT syndrome.

    Having the idea that we can bring the two home and have a memorial for twin 2 really really helped us come to terms with it. I think one of the hardest things in a miscarriage is the fact you rarely get the comfort of a burial ritual.

    I am a lot more positive today. I am enjoying my pregnancy - 10 weeks tomorrow :).

    Fri.day - I didnt know that you were a Galway girl! I think we might be the only Galwegians here (though strictly speaking I'm a Mayo girl who moved here about 15 years ago - according to my OH, a dyed in the wool Galwegian, I'll always be a blow in!)


  • Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Nicky987


    Neyite wrote: »
    Nikky - I have never heard of that before. Is it possible at all that it was implantation bleed? It sounds more like spotting to me rather than a period. It would be really lovely if it turned out to be implantation bleed :)

    Neyite that would be lovely if it was but now in a bit of panic after the amount I consumed last night on a hen with part two tonight. :-/ if I did a test now would it show do ya thjnk?? I dont mean to give to much info but it was enough.to cover 2 sheets of.bog roll! I'm just really.confused about what it was.


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  • Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Nicky987 wrote: »
    Neyite that would be lovely if it was but now in a bit of panic after the amount I consumed last night on a hen with part two tonight. :-/ if I did a test now would it show do ya thjnk?? I dont mean to give to much info but it was enough.to cover 2 sheets of.bog roll! I'm just really.confused about what it was.

    What was the dates of your last period, what cycle day did you have your hsg, what day did you think you might have ovulated, and finally what day do you think your period was due? Not nosy I swear! :p we can try and figure out if its too early to test or not. :D

    If you are, then seriously dont worry about the drink - I had 2 weekend sessions during my 2ww the month I got the positive, and the baby would not be connected to your blood supply that early - they have their own little food supply for the first couple of weeks - kinda like a packed lunch :D


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