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Raging

2

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,219 ✭✭✭woodoo


    The match is on at 7:45pm btw. Should not be a problem i'd say. Bring a screen in for it. And let them know in advance it will be shown otherwise you will end up with a lot of no shows.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,219 ✭✭✭woodoo


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Er, what? MOST people are not more concerned with soccer than their friends or family, or at least, most of the people I know aren't. I wouldn't be too long in a friendship with someone who put a soccer match before one of the happiest events of my life, tbh. It's just a game, it can be recorded and watched later. The wedding cannot. .

    If its the typical 200 to 300 guest wedding then alot will not be very close friends or family and will be more interested in the football.

    I speak as a soccer fan and i am like a child already about the Euro 2012 tournament. I can't wait. I hope the OP's wedding goes well but she is fighting a losing battle regarding this match. I'd imagine more than half the men will want to see it and a fair few women too.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,832 ✭✭✭✭Blatter


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Er, what? MOST people are not more concerned with soccer than their friends or family, or at least, most of the people I know aren't. I wouldn't be too long in a friendship with someone who put a soccer match before one of the happiest events of my life, tbh. It's just a game, it can be recorded and watched later. The wedding cannot.

    That said, I don't think the OP should ban the watching of the match at the wedding. I just think that friends & family are more important than football, and anyone with a modicum of basic respect would forego the match to attend the wedding of their friend or family member.

    As the above poster said, if it's a typical 200-300 person type wedding, most wouldn't be 'close' family and would be more interested in the match.

    And it wouldn't be ideal for people to just record it and watch it later. This isn't like an 'unmissable' episode of Coronation Street, A lot of the guests will have been looking forward to the match for months and months, like a child at Christmas and simply just would not miss it under any circumstances.

    And with regards to close friends and family caring more about the wedding than the match; are you sure about that? It would seem to me that a lot of people view weddings as a session and a general excuse to get píssed with the added bonus of a bit of grub rather than value the morals of the actual wedding.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    Blatter wrote: »

    And with regards to close friends and family caring more about the wedding than the match; are you sure about that? It would seem to me that a lot of people view weddings as a session and a general excuse to get píssed with the added bonus of a bit of grub rather than value the morals of the actual wedding.

    Lol, I'm pretty sure yeah. I'm not talking about morals or religion, I'm talking about me being a living breathing person that my family and friends know and love and have done for many years, celebrating a once-in-a-lifetime occasion versus 90 minutes of men you've never met playing a football match in a tournament that happens every four years. I don't see how they are even on the same plane of existence, relevance-wise.

    I have absolutely nothing against football, honestly. But to me, you might as well say they should DEFINITELY put on X-Factor or the Late Late Toy Show because it's really important and people will be dying to watch it and it's not fair on them to miss it because they'd have been looking forward to it for ages. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter one tiny bit. If you're put out about missing a football match because you're attending the wedding of a friend, then they must not be a very close friend, in my opinion.

    There is nothing I wouldn't skip or miss or reschedule or work around to celebrate something like that with a close friend. No TV show, sporting occasion, work commitment... I literally can't think of anything in the world I'd be put out about missing in order to attend a family or friend's special occasion. I'm not saying that to brag, just to illustrate my general view.

    That's why I just find it baffling that some people think that a football match is somehow more important than the wedding of a friend. Like, that just does not enter the realm of sense for me. But that's me.

    OP, my guess is that you have invited a lot of guests to your wedding, perhaps some that don't know you very well and won't feel it rude to watch the match or keep up to date with it. Given the situation, there's not much you can do but try not to let that ruin your day. You can't control the actions of others, you can only control yourself and how you feel. So spend the time between now and then remembering that those who matter won't be thinking about the football -- they'll be laughing, drinking and celebrating with you on you & your partner's special day. And that's the best you can wish for!


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    shellyboo wrote: »
    That's why I just find it baffling that some people think that a football match is somehow more important than the wedding of a friend. Like, that just does not enter the realm of sense for me. But that's me.

    It's not just a football match. It's Ireland's fifth major football tournament ever.

    Anyone over 30 will remember Italia '90 and USA' 94 with more detail than any wedding they've ever been to.

    This is a massive event in the country's sporting history, even more so now with the dreadful economy and employment.

    These events can bring a country together and make people feel proud to be Irish, something a lot of people haven't felt for a long, long time.

    It's not X-Factor.

    As I said, I would not miss one of the matches for the world.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭silly


    I feel your pain.

    You can do one of 2 things here.

    Not accommodate people who want to watch the match ( looks like it will be starting while ye are eating? Roughly). If you don't accommodate people who really want to watch it, they will be in and out to the bar between courses to watch it.

    Accommodate the soccer fans, as much you are against it, but they are your guests so you need to tend to their needs also. I.e you wouldnt serve liver at your wedding, even though you might love it, you know that alot of your guests might not.
    Have a tv in the reception room. Volume off. People will watch it and stay in the room while they eat.
    You can ask hotel staff to make sure people don't gather around the tv, ask them to remain seated while the meal is going on.

    I only got married 2 months ago and one of our groomsmen told us he was going to a match the day of our wedding!! He wasnt even playing! He would miss most if the meal. Thankfully someone talked some sense into him.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    Honestly when I hear some people are getting married and I might have to go, I despair a little. Really don't like weddings and the whole idea of it just means nothing to me really, I know many people with similar views.

    However, Ireland in the Euros? I haven't been this excited since I was a schoolboy. Even if it was my own brother getting married I'd have him rearrange it. I'm sorry OP, Ireland in the Euros means far more to most guests than your wedding ceremony, that's the reality.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,824 ✭✭✭ShooterSF


    Just to comment on "the match can be recorded ", technically yes it can but it would be like not going to a wedding and watching the recording instead. The whole point of big tournaments is you get to share in the edge of the seat emotions with those around you.

    Op it sounds like you want people to like what you do (classical music etc.) but we all have different tastes. You can plan a day you would love and ask others to deal with it or plan a day for all to enjoy and get happier guests. That doesn't mean you can't have the things you want too, but it would be extremely selfish to expect others to forfeit something they enjoy to be in your company while you put on what you enjoy.

    I hope that doesn't sound too mean.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 945 ✭✭✭Squiggler


    I'm not a soccer fan, at all... BUT, and there is a but. This isn't ordinary soccer. This goes beyond that. It's about natioal pride. I remember the "glory" days of Irish football back in the 90's. Watching the matches in between exams. It could be another 20 years before we qualify again.

    I know you have spent a great deal of time and money planning your big day, I've been there. You obsess for months about the tiniest details and freak out about what might go wrong... and when you've almost driven yourself and everyone else crazy you wake up and realise that you're not even looking forward to it anymore.

    A wedding is (or should be) about sharing and celebrating a change in your life with the people that matter to you. It should not be a Hollywood production. If your guests are uncomfortable and incommoded you're doing it wrong. You have a chance to make the wedding extra special if you play your cards right.

    I'm not saying you should change your colour scheme to Green, White and Gold, but you could have someone organised to provide score updates during the evening... and having a screen somewhere for people to watch doesn't seem an entirely bad thing. I've been to receptions where half the guests end up sitting in the lobby anyway (usually because they either want to talk or want to escape the racket of the band/dj).

    If you manage to graciously incorporate the game into your wedding you might actually achieve a more lasting memory of your big day in peoples minds than you would if there wasn't a game.

    Good luck, whatever you decide to do and I wish you many happy years of married life.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    ShooterSF wrote: »
    Just to comment on "the match can be recorded ", technically yes it can but it would be like not going to a wedding and watching the recording instead. The whole point of big tournaments is you get to share in the edge of the seat emotions with those around you.


    And a wedding is somehow NOT about sharing the emotions of those around you? If you're not *at the match* you're not sharing anyone's emotions except the dude sitting beside you at the bar, or on your sofa.

    Can you not feel national pride just by hearing that they've won? Can you not feel national pride by watching the match later, having known the score on the day? If it's so super important to watch the match live, would you not be better off skipping the wedding altogether instead of hijacking the OP & partner's day with your own personal hobby, no matter how popular that hobby may be?

    As for "it's not the X Factor", it's on the same level for me, and for plenty of other people. People performing on TV is people performing on TV, as far as I'm concerned. What's the difference between cheering for Jedward on the X Factor and cheering for Ireland on the football pitch? Nothing, to my eye.

    I just really, really, really do not get this attitude of football as being more important than the people in your life. At all. It's like an alien concept to me. So I won't say any more except to say OP, you're not alone. I get it!


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    shellyboo wrote: »
    And a wedding is somehow NOT about sharing the emotions of those around you? If you're not *at the match* you're not sharing anyone's emotions except the dude sitting beside you at the bar, or on your sofa.

    Can you not feel national pride just by hearing that they've won? Can you not feel national pride by watching the match later, having known the score on the day? If it's so super important to watch the match live, would you not be better off skipping the wedding altogether instead of hijacking the OP & partner's day with your own personal hobby, no matter how popular that hobby may be?

    As for "it's not the X Factor", it's on the same level for me, and for plenty of other people. People performing on TV is people performing on TV, as far as I'm concerned. What's the difference between cheering for Jedward on the X Factor and cheering for Ireland on the football pitch? Nothing, to my eye.

    I just really, really, really do not get this attitude of football as being more important than the people in your life. At all. It's like an alien concept to me. So I won't say any more except to say OP, you're not alone. I get it!

    You just don't understand, call me sad, but I've few better memories than Ireland beating Italy in '94. Weddings pale in comparison. I don't like weddings, a lot of people don't!


  • Registered Users Posts: 785 ✭✭✭ILikeBananas


    shellyboo wrote: »
    What's the difference between cheering for Jedward on the X Factor and cheering for Ireland on the football pitch? Nothing, to my eye.

    If you think like that then you're never going to understand.

    I don't think the OP should test people by giving them an ultimatum on the day as she might not be very happy with the outcome.

    The best single collective moment I've ever experienced in any pub, gig or celebration was that euphoric instant when Robbie Keane scored the last minute equaliser against Germany at the 2002 world cup. The whole thing only lasted maybe for 20 seconds but at that moment it was as if the entire group was experiencing the peak of some wonderful drug.

    That memory is going to be in the back of a lot of people's heads on that day. Nobody who experienced that wants to miss out on something similar happening again.

    So that's the mentality that you're dealing with. I appreciate that you can't understand it but don't make the mistake of testing your guests because it's a lose lose situation for you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    BraziliaNZ wrote: »
    You just don't understand, call me sad, but I've few better memories than Ireland beating Italy in '94. Weddings pale in comparison. I don't like weddings, a lot of people don't!

    Well obviously I don't understand, but also you don't understand my point of view or the OP's! :) I don't think it's sad, per se... like I said, I have nothing against football! I just understand how the OP feels, and how he/she may be annoyed and hurt that the day has to be shared with this event that means nothing to them, when the wedding means a lot. That's all.

    While everyone is telling the OP to be more understanding, I just think it's important to be understanding of the OP's feelings as well, given that it is their wedding. Just really don't want the OP to feel like they're the only person on the planet who feels the way they do!


    EDIT: @ILikeBananas, I agree as it happens. Don't make it an either-or scenario, compromise is definitely necessary here. Just trying to give a bit of perspective. Some people think football is important, others don't. Nobody is wrong, nobody's opinion is better... but when you're at the most important day of someone who doesn't care about football's life and you're more excited about the football than the wedding, please understand how that could be hurtful and frustrating for that person. Compromise and compassion is needed on BOTH sides, not just the OP's!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    shellyboo wrote: »
    Well obviously I don't understand, but also you don't understand my point of view or the OP's! :) I don't think it's sad, per se... like I said, I have nothing against football! I just understand how the OP feels, and how he/she may be annoyed and hurt that the day has to be shared with this event that means nothing to them, when the wedding means a lot. That's all.

    While everyone is telling the OP to be more understanding, I just think it's important to be understanding of the OP's feelings as well, given that it is their wedding. Just really don't want the OP to feel like they're the only person on the planet who feels the way they do!


    EDIT: @ILikeBananas, I agree as it happens. Don't make it an either-or scenario, compromise is definitely necessary here. Just trying to give a bit of perspective. Some people think football is important, others don't. Nobody is wrong, nobody's opinion is better... but when you're at the most important day of someone who doesn't care about football's life and you're more excited about the football than the wedding, please understand how that could be hurtful and frustrating for that person. Compromise and compassion is needed on BOTH sides, not just the OP's!

    If it's such a big deal she needs to rearrange the date I think


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭Davidth88


    I am with the roll with it camp.

    I would arrange facilities for people to watch the game etc.

    I actually got married in 1996 , we were very careful to make sure our wedding didn't clash with Euro 96 just in case .


    Enjoy the day


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    Can you just have the meal early, say 4:30 or 5pm, so that it'll be well over by the 7:45pm kick-off? You could have a screen in one corner so people won't have to leave the function room (or duck out of their meal). Then have the band start at 9pm, everybody's happy!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,219 ✭✭✭woodoo


    shellyboo wrote: »
    As for "it's not the X Factor", it's on the same level for me, and for plenty of other people. People performing on TV is people performing on TV, as far as I'm concerned. What's the difference between cheering for Jedward on the X Factor and cheering for Ireland on the football pitch? Nothing, to my eye.!

    The x factor is on every week for 3 months every year. Ireland in the Euros hasn't happened in 23 years.

    As for your comment about guests may as well not go to the wedding. That is a very real possibly for quite a few i'd imagine if they hear they will not be allowed watch the match.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Several people here are making the assumption that the OP is female.

    As a man, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in any soccer match. As an aside, aren't most of the 'Irish' team English anyway?

    Be that as it may, the OP should not change any details or arrangements for their wedding. Go ahead and enjoy the day. Make no special arrangements to have the match shown. If the venue are going to have screens available, just make a request that they are not on during the meal and especially during the speeches. I was at a wedding where there was some match on during the speeches and there was cheering and noises at entirely the wrong parts. The bride was livid.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,631 ✭✭✭✭Hank Scorpio



    As a man, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in any soccer match. As an aside, aren't most of the 'Irish' team English anyway?

    The only "English player" in our main starting eleven is Sean St Ledger, and his grandfather is from Carlow


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,832 ✭✭✭✭Blatter


    Several people here are making the assumption that the OP is female.

    As a man, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in any soccer match. As an aside, aren't most of the 'Irish' team English anyway?

    Be that as it may, the OP should not change any details or arrangements for their wedding. Go ahead and enjoy the day. Make no special arrangements to have the match shown. If the venue are going to have screens available, just make a request that they are not on during the meal and especially during the speeches. I was at a wedding where there was some match on during the speeches and there was cheering and noises at entirely the wrong parts. The bride was livid.


    Great advice for the OP.

    That's if the OP want a large percentage of her guests to hate her guts.


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  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    shellyboo wrote: »
    That's why I just find it baffling that some people think that a football match is somehow more important than the wedding of a friend. Like, that just does not enter the realm of sense for me. But that's me.

    because the big dirty secret is, that no-one else cares about the wedding and the big day except for the bride and groom.

    Everyone else at the wedding will be complaining about the time of the wedding, the distance they have to travel, the cost, the food, the band, the speeches, the dress, the table of people they have been stuck with.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 9,081 Mod ✭✭✭✭ziedth


    I'm honestly trying to look at this from the other side of the argument. I really am but the fact that it's football is irrelevant. if it was the olympics, boxing or fishing for whatever reason at least 50% of the OP's guests are going to want to watch the match.

    You are presumably having your wedding on a Thursday or Monday that means that quiet a few are going to take one or even two days off work. I don't think it's allot to ask that you be some bit flexible with the meal to accommodate the match. To go as far as to try and actually prevent people from watching it is borderline madness IMHO.

    even though it's the biggest day of the OP's life for allot of the guests it's just another wedding next year most of us surely have more then one it will fade away as just another night out unless Ireland beat Spain/Italy and people will tell their grand kids where they were. Surely fir even those who HATE football you can see how it would annoy people if you went out of your way to stop it being shown.

    It's less then two hours of your day with a few people in the bar watching a TV screen. You won't even notice OP.

    Have a good day.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭silly


    irishbird wrote: »

    because the big dirty secret is, that no-one else cares about the wedding and the big day except for the bride and groom.

    Everyone else at the wedding will be complaining about the time of the wedding, the distance they have to travel, the cost, the food, the band, the speeches, the dress, the table of people they have been stuck with.


    That's a massive sweeping statement there!
    I've been to plenty weddings where I have been beaming most of the day, as I'm delighted for the bride and groom.
    I love weddings. I night away in a hotel, a lovely meal, meeting friends that I might not have seen since the last wedding, or relatives that don't live in Ireland, home for a wedding. Sipping wine in the middle of the day while others are slaving away at work. Love it!


  • Administrators Posts: 13,530 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Silly, I'm going to make another massive sweeping statement, with some assumption thrown in for good measure!

    I'm assuming you're female! I like weddings. I've only ever been invited to weddings of good friends or relatives I'm close to. I love the day. I love seeing the couple so happy, and I love the meeting and socialising with people I only see at weddings!

    but... here's the sweeping statement bit.. most males (that I know anyway) could take or leave a wedding! But, if the chance was there to meet all the friends and relatives AND watch Ireland in the Euros surrounded by loads of friends and relatives, then I think a wedding becomes much more attractive to the humble man!

    I'm not a huge soccer fan... but I will be watching the matches!


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    silly wrote: »
    That's a massive sweeping statement there!
    I've been to plenty weddings where I have been beaming most of the day, as I'm delighted for the bride and groom.
    I love weddings. I night away in a hotel, a lovely meal, meeting friends that I might not have seen since the last wedding, or relatives that don't live in Ireland, home for a wedding. Sipping wine in the middle of the day while others are slaving away at work. Love it!

    that's IMHO based on the 30+ weddings i have been to you are in minority.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭silly


    Well I haven't been to 30 weddings, I've been to about 18/19.
    And i wasn't in the minority.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    Folks, stop the bickering amongst yourselves. Keep all replies civil and directed towards the OP.

    Maple


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    listen OP you are fighting a losing battle.
    try and look on this as a positive. if ireland win, this is a day that will live long in the memory of everyone there. long after they have forgotten the details of every other wedding they were at they will remember your's.

    in thirty years time you will meet people on the street and they will tell their kids how thay were at your wedding the day ireland won. with anyone else they would not even be sure if they were at their wedding, this includes close members of their own family.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,832 ✭✭✭✭Blatter


    farmchoice wrote: »
    listen OP you are fighting a losing battle.
    try and look on this as a positive. if ireland win, this is a day that will live long in the memory of everyone there. long after they have forgotten the details of every other wedding they were at they will remember your's.

    in thirty years time you will meet people on the street and they will tell their kids how thay were at your wedding the day ireland won. with anyone else they would not even be sure if they were at their wedding, this includes close members of their own family.

    For the OP's sake I hope it's not the Spain game, it could become the day Ireland lost 5-0:pac:


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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Blatter please review our charter.
    A mod has just posted a warning to other posters in this thread so we were surprised to see your comment here.

    Our Charter states among other things:
    There is zero tolerance for muppetry here, and trolls etc. will not be treated lightly.

    Taltos



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