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is it ever okay to wear white to a wedding?

  • 23-07-2013 3:25pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    I bought a white dress today using a voucher I got for my birthday. I had a voucher. ...the dress was half price and within voucher budget so I bought it.

    Any how I was just thinking that if I accessorise it, i could bring it up to wedding guest suitability. So I broke it up with green (ribbon for a belt, green shoes, necklace, brooch and bag) and it looks really good!

    The wedding is an old friend of my husband's, so we won't be in any family shots, we're not close friends and its unlikely we'll see much of them in the future. And we're flat broke, so it would really get me out of a hole. But having said that I certainly wouldn't want to offend anyone on the day...or commit a wedding guest crime!

    So is it ever okay to wear white if its broken up enough or should I just steer clear altogether?


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭jojobeans


    I bought a white dress today using a voucher I got for my birthday. I had a voucher. ...the dress was half price and within voucher budget so I bought it.

    Any how I was just thinking that if I accessorise it, i could bring it up to wedding guest suitability. So I broke it up with green (ribbon for a belt, green shoes, necklace, brooch and bag) and it looks really good!


    The wedding is an old friend of my husband's, so we won't be in any family shots, we're not close friends and its unlikely we'll see much of them in the future. And we're flat broke, so it would really get me out of a hole. But having said that I certainly wouldn't want to offend anyone on the day...or commit a wedding guest crime!

    So is it ever okay to wear white if its broken up enough or should I just steer clear altogether?


    I reckon its fine as your not close family and as you said u wont be in many of the shots, however my mam whos a twin wore white to her twins wedding in the 70s full length lace and a big hat to boot and her sis in law has never been the same with her since lol. If i was you i would stick with what you chose.(",)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭Rosy Posy


    I wouldn't if I were you. It might be fine but you might have randoms looking daggers at you all night. IMO it's disrespectful to the bride.

    If you really have nothing else to wear why not see if a friend can lend you a dress?


  • Registered Users Posts: 794 ✭✭✭Lima Golf


    Once it's short and not a white maxi go for it. People are ridiculous when it comes to weddings, seriously if someone wore white to my wedding I wouldn't be thinking that witch or throwing daggers, I'd be happy they made the effort to come. This white rule is so silly. I wore a white and pink dress to a wedding abroad once and got nothing but compliments, not a dirty look in sight.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7 CaptainPix


    I work at weddings every week and have often seen guests wearing white so guess it's not that uncommon




  • I wore white to a cousins wedding. It never cost me a thought. I accessorised with black. It was all I could afford at the time. Wear what you're comfortable in and have a good day.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 23,179 ✭✭✭✭ted1


    This may sound odd, but if your hot maybe you shouldn't wear it. Can't imagine it's go down well with the bride if there is some one hotter than her in a white dress.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,324 ✭✭✭happywithlife


    So long as you accessorise it and it doesn't in any way resemble a bridal outfit it'd be ok
    But I was at a wedding recently and there was one guest wearing white
    She wasn't part of the bridal party nor would she have been in any family photos etc
    But
    Her dress was white, long & floaty and not at all accessorised ...
    To be honest I did think to myself who did she think she was wearing such an outfit to an wedding?!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    The idea is not to upstage the bride so if the bride is young and beautiful and you are less so - then go for it :)


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I've seen quite a few people wearing white to weddings, so it must be widely accepted.

    However, personally I'd always see it as very thoughtless, and while I understand that this is a completely irrational addition, I'd also see it as vain (I understand that you're under financial constraints, but in the back of my mind when I see someone in white at a wedding I assume they must care more about how they look than showing respect to the bride). I know I'm harsh, and I'm sure the bride has better things to worry about on the day, but I can't see why there's any strong reason to ignore the custom - surely you have other dresses or friends the same size as you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    Ooh im in two minds now....I was kind of leaning towards no....but it is in no way like a wedding dress and when i put it together it looked even less so. Its knee length Audrey Hepburn style. And I'm in no way arrogant enough to think id in anyway upstage the bride. Its literally just the fact that its white.

    But id hate to think there would be peoplewwhispering about 'yer one who wore white'.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    I've seen quite a few people wearing white to weddings, so it must be widely accepted.

    However, personally I'd always see it as very thoughtless, and while I understand that this is a completely irrational addition, I'd also see it as vain (I understand that you're under financier constraints, but in the back of my mind when I see someone in white at a wedding I assume they must care more about how they look than showing respect to the bride). I know I'm harsh, and I'm sure the bride has better things to worry about on the day, but I can't see why there's any strong reason to ignore the custom - surely you have other dresses or friends the same size as you.

    To be honest I think you're spot on. I can see how it can look thoughtless. And to be honest the bride is not a friend so that's why I can afford to be a little less thoughtful. The bride isnt even going to see me on the day...so she really isnt going to care. ..but her friends and relatives might.

    I literally have nothing else...ive been to a gazillion weddings and have lots of dresses. ..but ive lost 4 stone since Christmas so none of them will fit my new teeny ass ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 7 CaptainPix


    Hey happy days saying goodbye to the 4 stone eh... nice one


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    Thank you. ...I guess all just have to go and buy another dress then *first world problems* ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,462 ✭✭✭HardyEustace


    Congrats on the weight loss.

    To be honest, I really don't think its nice to wear white at a wedding. I wouldn't dream of it.

    In fairness, the sales are on right now and you can pick up some amazing dresses for half nothing.

    I got a beautiful dress (for a wedding at the end of August) in Debenhams recently, it was reduced from 160euro to 30euro.

    So, I really wouldn't wear white. I think after this mail thread, you could possibly feel very self conscious about it as well. Get a new dress, borrow one from a friend or find a good sale, and go and enjoy the day.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I literally have nothing else...ive been to a gazillion weddings and have lots of dresses. ..but ive lost 4 stone since Christmas so none of them will fit my new teeny ass ;)

    Ooh it's a great opportunity to recycle an old dress - take it in, belt it, add bits, cut out bits, one of my favourite things to do!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    Congrats on the weight loss.

    To be honest, I really don't think its nice to wear white at a wedding. I wouldn't dream of it.

    In fairness, the sales are on rightly now and you can pick up some amazing dresses for half nothing.

    I got a beautiful dress (for a wedding at the end of August) in Debenhams recently, it was reduced from 160euro to 30euro.

    So, I really wouldn't wear white. I think after this mail thread, you could possibly feel very self conscious about it as well. Get a new dress, borrow one from a friend or find a good sale, and go and enjoy the day.

    I wouldn't really have considered it either. ..but I just wondered had the rules changed because it would have been job done and t seems they have a bit!. I know I can get cheap dresses but I just really wanted to know whether white at a wedding when broken up was ok as it would have saved me money and a shopping trip

    True_false...ive gone from a sixe 18 to a size 12 and whatever about turning up to a wedding in white. ..I certainly wouldn't present myself in a chopped up dress and the money it would cost to get it professionally done I could get a new one! ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 307 ✭✭Mrs W


    Can you post a pic or link to the dress? Some styles would be fine if you could put enough colour with it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    Absolutely not. The bride might not notice (I couldn't tell you what anyone wore to my wedding) but you can bet your ass that others will. I can't understand why anyone would want to be *that* person at a wedding.

    Some may dismiss it as a "silly" tradition, but it's a convention that has been in place for a very long time. I'd wear something else.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,065 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    Absolutely not. The bride might not notice (I couldn't tell you what anyone wore to my wedding) but you can bet your ass that others will. I can't understand why anyone would want to be *that* person at a wedding.

    Some may dismiss it as a "silly" tradition, but it's a convention that has been in place for a very long time. I'd wear something else.

    I have to agree with this - the bride may not care what you wear however I wouldn't want to be the one that people talk about for the wrong reasons. I saw a wedding where the brides mother wore a white outfit, bride didnt care but people are still talking about her!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    Dovies wrote: »
    I have to agree with this - the bride may not care what you wear however I wouldn't want to be the one that people talk about for the wrong reasons. I saw a wedding where the brides mother wore a white outfit, bride didnt care but people are still talking about her!

    Well, that's silly. The mother of the bride outfit would have been vetted by the the bride, most likely! If the bride doesn't mind, and might even have been complicit in the choosing of that outfit, nobody else should mind! :)

    Kinda like Pippa Middleton wearing a white bridesmaid dress.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,274 ✭✭✭Orlee


    No - I think its nice to keep some traditions alive and why risk upsetting the bride? Hopefully she'll only do it once in her life so let her be the one in the white dress ...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,893 ✭✭✭Hannibal Smith


    Thanks for all the replies. Seems as if some people say yay...some say nay....I'll try it all on together again and see if its broken up enough with the green to consider and see what the girlies say.

    If not I'll wear something else.

    Thanks again x


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,613 ✭✭✭Toast4532


    Personally I see nothing wrong with wearing a white/cream/ivory etc dress to a wedding as long as it is accessorized with colours and not left plain and certainly not a full length maxi/wedding style dress.

    I know if I was getting married I wouldn't give a fiddlers what colour/styles etc people wore so long as they were comfortable in what they were wearing. I certainly wouldn't want them to avoid wearing a white/cream etc dress because they thought it would upset me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    Personally I dont see the issue, however that being said I am currently looking for a dress to wear to a wedding myself and I have had to say no to a few as they are too close to white for my liking and I think the reason is that its not the upstaging the bride worry or the sticking to tradition etc. Its that no matter what I personally think about wearing white- others may view it as disrespectful and may then think that I am being disrespectful/thoughtlessl/whatever else.

    It may be a silly rule or ott but at the end of the day its a well known rule and its easy enough to abide by so its safe to just stick to it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,021 ✭✭✭Redpunto


    I never thinks its ok to wear anything remotely white to a wedding. its the one day (hopefully only get married once!) that the bride can really stand out and be the centre of attention and the amount of money spend on bridal dresses,,,, just wouldnt do it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 334 ✭✭shinesun


    I think it is bad form to wear white as a guest to a wedding. Even though the bride may not notice, other guests will talk..
    Someone very close to me got married and two guests wore white to her wedding. She has never forgot it. Pretended it did not bother her on the day....
    Keep the white dress for another occasion or accessorize your white dress to the max! Personally I would just wear/buy another dress. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    It honestly wouldn't bother me if I was getting married and someone showed up in white. Frankly, you will not be mistaken for the bride. Its a short dress with colourful accessories - I don't see how this could possibly upstage a full length bridal gown (no offence here, I hope you know what I'm trying to get across) with professional hair/make up/grooming, the works.

    I think its actually incredibly vain and bratty to get annoyed about it. Its just silly. Once its not full length and you have another pop of colour I think its a non issue. I would wear it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,528 ✭✭✭ShaShaBear


    Im getting married next year, and while your outfit doesn't at all sound like something that would be in direct competition with full bridal attire, I do have serious distate for the guests (there is always one) who tries to get away with wearing as close to a bridal look as she possibly can.

    I don't think it's bratty to want to attend any formal event and look unique to everyone else there. But when it's a formal event you are organising yourself, you definitely want to look unique.

    Plenty of charity shops have great dresses for a steal, if you're not the sort that's ashamed to get second hand designer dresses for a few euro :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    WhiteRoses wrote: »
    Its a short dress with colourful accessories - I don't see how this could possibly upstage a full length bridal gown (no offence here, I hope you know what I'm trying to get across) with professional hair/make up/grooming, the works.

    I think its actually incredibly vain and bratty to get annoyed about it. Its just silly. Once its not full length and you have another pop of colour I think its a non issue. I would wear it.

    It's not about trying to "upstage" the bride, it's about showing respect for a convention that's been in place for an age.

    Would you go to a funeral in a canary yellow prom dress?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    It's not about trying to "upstage" the bride, it's about showing respect for a convention that's been in place for an age.

    Would you go to a funeral in a canary yellow prom dress?

    Well, the tradition was black to a funeral, but that's rarely observed now.

    I've seen people wear bright colours to funerals, certainly.


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