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Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Just trying to cling on here. Day 4, come on :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    It must be a symptom of depression so.

    Significant weight loss (or gain) is a symptom of depression, though obviously not just depression. It's pretty common. I don't eat when I feel low and overeat when in good form when depressed. It's annoying. I'm forcing myself to eat at the moment to try and stop losing weight (you know you're not too bad when you can do this!), I'm down nearly 30lb on the Autumn. (Some of this was due to medication change though, I think)


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,566 ✭✭✭Gillo


    Depending on people circumstances (I live in a house share and we all look after our own food) a trick I find great is cook a massive meal like chilli con carne, curry, spaghetti etc and freeze it in individual containers. That way all you have to is throw it in the micro wave, great for when you can't face the thought of cooking.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Gillo wrote: »
    Depending on people circumstances (I live in a house share and we all look after our own food) a trick I find great is cook a massive meal like chilli con carne, curry, spaghetti etc and freeze it in individual containers. That way all you have to is throw it in the micro wave, great for when you can't face the thought of cooking.

    I do this a lot but it doesn't help me that much. Some days I'll just feel full after a few bites.


  • Registered Users Posts: 88 ✭✭talullah


    Some days half a biscuit would fill me, just can't stomach anymore than that, and then on good days I have no problem finishing 3 full meals, depends on the mood. I think there are times even waiting on the microwave does my head in, so a bowl of cereal is the quick and painless option.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Well I live on my own, so I very rarely cook, don't keep much in the fridge.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Well I live on my own, so I very rarely cook, don't keep much in the fridge.

    Not a good idea, money wise or health wise. :)


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,556 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    Long day. As regards food, well i'd nearly eat straight out of the tub of butter now. whatever is worst for me is what i feel i deserve these days - if ye hadn't gathered i'm still in that awful down spiral of self hatred, i just can't bear myself. I went over to two friends of mine earlier and went the happy buzz but mostly it doesn't feel like me anymore. what really pisses me off is there's so many worse off and i feel like i'm whining. Damn it.:mad::(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    I'm sure a lot of us here can relate to the self hatred. Why do you hate yourself?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    nesf wrote: »
    Not a good idea, money wise or health wise. :)

    Living on your own is it? So do I.


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    Long day. As regards food, well i'd nearly eat straight out of the tub of butter now. whatever is worst for me is what i feel i deserve these days - if ye hadn't gathered i'm still in that awful down spiral of self hatred, i just can't bear myself. I went over to two friends of mine earlier and went the happy buzz but mostly it doesn't feel like me anymore. what really pisses me off is there's so many worse off and i feel like i'm whining. Damn it.:mad::(

    I like you :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,116 ✭✭✭starviewadams


    Have been feeling very,very low over the past few weeks,have been unable to crawl out of bed til mid afternoon on most days,have no appetite,no energy,and have been crying for no reason.I have been having more and more detailed thoughts of suicide too.I also self harmed for the first time since November last night,just to try and feel some relief which I now feel terrible about.Just feel lost,lonely and hopeless and I can't see things getting any better.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 59,556 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    I can't stand me. Mostly because i've made people around me suffer, and also because i'm from an 'old school' background where mental illness is total bs that doesn't exist and i'm just inventing things to make my life seem hard. Which makes me feel guilty for taking up time in doctor's office and hospital and so shouldn't i just go disappear and stop making work for everyone. Sorry, rant over. :o:mad:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    I can't stand me. Mostly because i've made people around me suffer, and also because i'm from an 'old school' background where mental illness is total bs that doesn't exist and i'm just inventing things to make my life seem hard. Which makes me feel guilty for taking up time in doctor's office and hospital and so shouldn't i just go disappear and stop making work for everyone. Sorry, rant over. :o:mad:

    I can't stand myself either for many physical and emotional issues. I'd say it's a common enough issue in here.

    Don't mind other people. Your problems are as important as anyone else's so no need to feel guilty.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Living on your own is it? So do I.

    Rarely cooking for yourself. With a freezer you can be extremely economical and live with tasty food even when cooking for one. As the only veggie in this house this is effectively what I do.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    I can't stand me. Mostly because i've made people around me suffer, and also because i'm from an 'old school' background where mental illness is total bs that doesn't exist and i'm just inventing things to make my life seem hard. Which makes me feel guilty for taking up time in doctor's office and hospital and so shouldn't i just go disappear and stop making work for everyone. Sorry, rant over. :o:mad:

    Ditto.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    Have been feeling very,very low over the past few weeks,have been unable to crawl out of bed til mid afternoon on most days,have no appetite,no energy,and have been crying for no reason.I have been having more and more detailed thoughts of suicide too.I also self harmed for the first time since November last night,just to try and feel some relief which I now feel terrible about.Just feel lost,lonely and hopeless and I can't see things getting any better.

    Are you living on your own Starviewadams, have you much family?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    nesf wrote: »
    Rarely cooking for yourself. With a freezer you can be extremely economical and live with tasty food even when cooking for one. As the only veggie in this house this is effectively what I do.

    I'm a veggie too! Yeah I think that's the way to go - cook a massive portion and freeze, to save me cooking. Really going to try to be healthier.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    I can't stand me. Mostly because i've made people around me suffer, and also because i'm from an 'old school' background where mental illness is total bs that doesn't exist and i'm just inventing things to make my life seem hard. Which makes me feel guilty for taking up time in doctor's office and hospital and so shouldn't i just go disappear and stop making work for everyone. Sorry, rant over. :o:mad:

    I surprise, surprise also hate myself.:):o

    It's like an illness has invaded all of us. This reminds me of a book I read about a girl with anorexia, where she thought she was special and unique and the only one who thought like that and then she read other girl's accounts of anorexia and realised they'd all been invaded by an illness.

    Not exactly the same, but with depression I think each one of us thinks we are the most awful person, when everyone is really feeling the same way. It is the disease, not you.

    I remember some-one saying to me: if you could see what I see when I look at you: "you're beautiful, compassionate, kind, likable", and all that rolled off me, and I immediately thought, "No I'm horrible and worthless". :( It's an awful way to be. Like I see all the good in you but I knew if I told you you wouldn't believe me, we somehow have to figure it out for ourselves. Keep fighting everyone.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    Have been feeling very,very low over the past few weeks,have been unable to crawl out of bed til mid afternoon on most days,have no appetite,no energy,and have been crying for no reason.I have been having more and more detailed thoughts of suicide too.I also self harmed for the first time since November last night,just to try and feel some relief which I now feel terrible about.Just feel lost,lonely and hopeless and I can't see things getting any better.

    Has anything triggered this do you know?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭Captain Graphite


    I always comfort eat when feeling down. Or even just when I'm bored. Never made myself throw up though. Usually just lie down afterwards feeling sick and try to sleep off the groggy feeling.
    And as with the SH thing, the "why the hell are you not bulimic?" thoughts start manifesting in my mind. Feeling guilty for not having a particular illness; it's really fúcked up how my mind works.
    God, I feel the exact same way. I feel guilty because I don't SH. It's weird because I've only started feeling this way the past few months. and it's not one of those things you can really say to someone, because they'd be a mixture of o_O and :eek: I do
    hit/starve myself
    sometimes when I'm really down/angry though, but I don't think of it as being the same. Psych does, but I dunno.... (I put that bit in spoilers in case it's triggering).

    Ok, well at least I'm not the only one. I thought I was some kind of freak. I know it sounds bizarre for me to say that I find it comforting knowing someone else is going through the same thing ('cause I wouldn't want anyone to go through these kind of issues) but I'm a little glad I'm not alone in feeling that way.
    jammstarr wrote: »
    I'm sure a lot of us here can relate to the self hatred. Why do you hate yourself?

    For me, it can all be boiled down to one simple sentence: "I'm not good enough".

    I'm not good-looking and feel ugly most of the time.

    I'm overweight and have never bothered trying to do anything about it, no matter how many times I tell myself I'm gonna exercise and start eating better.

    I have no talent whatsoever; can't sing, dance, act, paint, play any sport. I was told I had a good way with words but any time I try creative writing I give up after a few minutes 'cause I tell myself that what I wrote was rubbish.

    I'm not smart enough, at least not anymore; I flew through primary and secondary school but fúcked up college a bit.

    I'm obsessive to a degree where things I did when I was about 6 years old come back to haunt me. I can never let go of the past and keep getting depressed over things that happened ages age, even though I know I can't go back and change them. I'm like a broken record, complaining all the time. I have bucketloads of regret about even the silliest, most trivial things.

    I'm really open and honest with strangers but when I get to know someone I close up and can't be honest with them. I act like a different person around my family than I do when I'm with my friends. So I'm not even good enough at being me!
    Have been feeling very,very low over the past few weeks,have been unable to crawl out of bed til mid afternoon on most days,have no appetite,no energy,and have been crying for no reason.I have been having more and more detailed thoughts of suicide too.I also self harmed for the first time since November last night,just to try and feel some relief which I now feel terrible about.Just feel lost,lonely and hopeless and I can't see things getting any better.

    :(

    Is there a friend/relative you can call to talk to? Or your GP? Or The Samaritans or some other helpline?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    For me, it can all be boiled down to one simple sentence: "I'm not good enough".

    I'm not good-looking and feel ugly most of the time.

    I'm overweight and have never bothered trying to do anything about it, no matter how many times I tell myself I'm gonna exercise and start eating better.

    I have no talent whatsoever; can't sing, dance, act, paint, play any sport. I was told I had a good way with words but any time I try creative writing I give up after a few minutes 'cause I tell myself that what I wrote was rubbish.

    I'm not smart enough, at least not anymore; I flew through primary and secondary school but fúcked up college a bit.

    I'm obsessive to a degree where things I did when I was about 6 years old come back to haunt me. I can never let go of the past and keep getting depressed over things that happened ages age, even though I know I can't go back and change them. I'm like a broken record, complaining all the time. I have bucketloads of regret about even the silliest, most trivial things.

    I'm really open and honest with strangers but when I get to know someone I close up and can't be honest with them. I act like a different person around my family than I do when I'm with my friends. So I'm not even good enough at being me!

    That sounds exactly how I am too.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    I'm a veggie too! Yeah I think that's the way to go - cook a massive portion and freeze, to save me cooking. Really going to try to be healthier.

    I just do stuff like cook up a big batch of bean chilli, lentil/bean soup or whatever and freeze/store in the fridge for my off days. It's fine. Issue is days like today where beyond a bowl of lentil and vegetable soup just there I haven't eaten much. I'm just not hungry at the moment, even eating the bowl of soup was a challenge. It doesn't help that everything tastes meh when my wife is swooning over the flavour.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Have been feeling very,very low over the past few weeks,have been unable to crawl out of bed til mid afternoon on most days,have no appetite,no energy,and have been crying for no reason.I have been having more and more detailed thoughts of suicide too.I also self harmed for the first time since November last night,just to try and feel some relief which I now feel terrible about.Just feel lost,lonely and hopeless and I can't see things getting any better.

    Do you have a psychiatrist? If so, it might be a good time to request an earlier appointment. If not, then go to your GP for a chat about what's been happening.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    Does anyone notice their face shape changes on antidepressants? I noticed my forehead looking different, and my eyes, and my jaw is permanently in a bit of a grimace, like a clenched state :(, there's two other people I know on antidepressants and they have the same facial expression as me, it's scary.

    So I looked it up, and apparantley anti-depressants do have a striking effect on your face, they relax the facial muscles. This should surely be discussed more. It's worrying, I feel I don't look like I used to at all :(
    Weight gained as a side effect would affect the shape, as well as the rest of the body of course. Bit about me, decided to come off medication unadvised a week and a bit ago, feel well enough still, maybe not as stabilized in a higher position as when they were in my system, have made plans to go to the gym in college but I don't care much for the academic side at the moment or ever since I started back really.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    flyswatter wrote: »
    Bit about me, decided to come off medication unadvised a week and a bit ago

    That's a really bad idea. Better to change to a different one to try and find a low side effect one than to give them up unadvised.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    flyswatter wrote: »
    Weight gained as a side effect would affect the shape, as well as the rest of the body of course. Bit about me, decided to come off medication unadvised a week and a bit ago, feel well enough still, maybe not as stabilized in a higher position as when they were in my system, have made plans to go to the gym in college but I don't care much for the academic side at the moment or ever since I started back really.

    No it's more that my pupils look weird, my skin looks really waxy,tight and shiny, and I'm clenching my jaw alot. And I've noticed this in other girls who I know are taking antidepressants. My eyes actually look bizarre, I had a chat about it with the optician when I was getting a routine eyetest, and he said most drugs have an affect on the size of the pupils. My pupils are either pinpricks or extremely dilated :mad: I hate it but I can't do without antidepressants at the moment.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    nesf wrote: »
    I just do stuff like cook up a big batch of bean chilli, lentil/bean soup or whatever and freeze/store in the fridge for my off days. It's fine. Issue is days like today where beyond a bowl of lentil and vegetable soup just there I haven't eaten much. I'm just not hungry at the moment, even eating the bowl of soup was a challenge. It doesn't help that everything tastes meh when my wife is swooning over the flavour.

    What beans do you use? Cause I often find that Im not getting enough protein.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,492 ✭✭✭degausserxo


    Personally, I'd be against any sort of food log here as it'd be incredibly triggering. Spent the past seven hours binging and purging. Chest hurts, stomach hurts and my throats in bits. I hate this.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    nesf wrote: »
    flyswatter wrote: »
    Bit about me, decided to come off medication unadvised a week and a bit ago

    That's a really bad idea. Better to change to a different one to try and find a low side effect one than to give them up unadvised.
    Oh, I don't have any qualms with any of Celexas side effects really, didn't experience anything really bar some tiredness perhaps.


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