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Approaching a Girl in the Street

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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,090 ✭✭✭jill_valentine


    I've had this happen to me, and wasn't terribly impressed. The only guys I've ever seen try it came across as a bit... odd, independently of their approach, and didn't take the hint. It felt kind of presumptuous and made me uncomfortable. I don't want to have to be put on the spot, and I hate having to think of a polite way to give somebody the brush off when I'm just walking down the street.

    Say what you will about the traditional Irish shift-in-the-incredibly-grim-hotel-nightclub, but I absolutely hate the transactional American approach to "dating", and I'd hate to see it catch on here.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10 jeep37


    Say what you will about the traditional Irish shift-in-the-incredibly-grim-hotel-nightclub, but I absolutely hate the transactional American approach to "dating", and I'd hate to see it catch on here.

    So you approve of sticking with the current situation in Ireland where Irish women go to nightclubs and "shift" the top 10%-20% of most physically attractive males in society, rather than bringing in a scenario where the norm is for two people to go out and actually communicate to get to know eachother better?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 382 ✭✭eire-kp


    Yes tried this once and it worked not exactly in the steet but something similar.
    I was delivering some stuff with a truck a while ago and was absolutely lost in the middle of nowhere eventually came to the nearest town and called into a petrol station, The shop was empty so ended up talking to the girl at the counter for a minute while getting directions off her,

    Got her number as I was leaving with the classic "any chance of your number in case I get lost again" :o ..Made my day :)
    Ended up texting for a while but didn't meet up as we lived a big distance from each other.

    Never tried anything like it since.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,128 ✭✭✭✭MadYaker


    jeep37 wrote: »
    Have you ingested psychedelic substances or are you a woman in disguise?

    No but I do have adequate communication skills and I don't wet myself with fear every time a girl says hello.
    jeep37 wrote: »
    So you approve of sticking with the current situation in Ireland where Irish women go to nightclubs and "shift" the top 10%-20% of most physically attractive males in society, rather than bringing in a scenario where the norm is for two people to go out and actually communicate to get to know eachother better?

    I don't know where you're from but thats not the only way it happens here. At least not in my experience anyway. Surely the only time you have an opportunity to meet women isn't in nightclubs when everyone is wasted?


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,820 ✭✭✭grames_bond


    Happened me, I was walking to work and would pass the same girl twice a day - eventually (when we were about to move office) I bit the bullet and stopped her, thought what have I got to lose! Best decision I ever made as the girl is an absolute legend, and I am f*cking delighted I stopped her!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 937 ✭✭✭newbee22


    Happened me once before while I was working, this guy was a regular customer and asked me out and gave me his number. To be honest I was a bit freaked out because I was only 18 at the time. Now as a wise 24 year old (:P) I think I'd be flattered. Us Irish are a bit too shy I think, the only way most of us have confidence to approach people we fancy is if we're off our faces in a pub/nightclub!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 309 ✭✭Tim the Enchanter


    A friend of mine done this. He approached a girl looking a bit lost in the street. It turned out she was a Canadian tourist and was looking for a local hotel. Now this hotel was only around the corner but my buddy chanced his arm and said he would show her the way, she agreed and went with him, he walked all over town with her and about an hour later arrived at her hotel. He's now married to this girl and living in Canada.


  • Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Pretty girls are always doing this to me in the street.
    And boys too.
    Damn Chuggers :mad:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    jeep37 wrote: »
    So you approve of sticking with the current situation in Ireland where Irish women go to nightclubs and "shift" the top 10%-20% of most physically attractive males in society, rather than bringing in a scenario where the norm is for two people to go out and actually communicate to get to know eachother better?

    I don't know what planet you live on but that's some creation of the imagination...specifically yours.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,510 ✭✭✭Hazys




    I think these guys’ videos are pretty hilarious just to watch for entertainment purposes.

    I think they prove it doesn’t really matter what you say as long as you are confident as fcuk and throw in a bit of wit and humour. Confidence and humour seem to be way more important than looks to women.

    Most girls seem to be completely in shock when a lad comes out of the blue and starts talking to her on the street. But i presume the majority of them kinda like their daily routine to be broken up with a bit of romance, even if they are not really interested in the guy.

    The guys seem pretty successful but I guess they only show the parts where they get on well with the girl, i'd say the majority of the time they get rejected and look like a psycho...but i guess its a numbers game literally.

    The problem for most guys is...how the fcuk do you become that confident :confused:


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,016 ✭✭✭Elmer Blooker


    jeep37 wrote: »
    If you're a 'hot' guy, you'll be seen as courageous and romantic. If you're around average-looking or worse, CREEP.
    It's the opposite if you ask me.
    Good looking guy: "who does he think he is, god's gift to women?" ....... "a player" ....... "thinks he can get any woman!"

    Average guy" "a bit of a rogue"....... a jack-the-lad ..... a bad boy... a chancer.

    I think women would have a sneaky admiration for mr average.


  • Registered Users Posts: 322 ✭✭Apolloyon


    I think in Ireland, we've very much bound to what is socially acceptable and even when those goalposts move with each generation. We generally try to keep as close as possible to what is the current norm.

    Although to be fair, speaking as a man (I think that's the first time in my life, I've used that phrase. It sounds so weird. But I digress!), I don't know how I'd react if a woman did come up to me out of the blue and asked me out so directly. I think I would be bewildered (obviously!) and I think wouldn't know how to react either. Someone mentioned earlier that you might not be in the right headspace for such a situation whereas in fiction, the person normally is and romance...or hilarity ensues.

    As for the comparison between nightclubs. I suppose it is a little contradictory. People often meet strangers there and bring them home. But a stranger on the street wants your number...no way! I think again, it's the headspace issue again. People in the nightclubs can be in the right frame of mind to meet someone. So do we need to change our way of thinking and open ourselves up to new opportunities? Or do we leave well enough alone?


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    Actually this is what would spring to mind if someone approached me on the street - that it was being filmed for some sort of "entertainment" or it was being done for a dare and I'd be looking for a couple of his mates standing a short distance away, giggling. :rolleyes: Maybe I'm cynical. And no I didn't meet any of my previous boyfriends while utterly scutterly in a nightclub.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Red Hand


    Yeah, I kind of tried it once with a girl who worked in a pharmacy who seemed nice and was quite pretty. Bit the bullet and asked her for a coffee after making horrendous, absolutely horrendous small talk.:D

    She politely declined, and laughed off the embarressment. And she didn't pepper spray me which is always nice.:)




  • Red Hand wrote: »
    Yeah, I kind of tried it once with a girl who worked in a pharmacy who seemed nice and was quite pretty. Bit the bullet and asked her for a coffee after making horrendous, absolutely horrendous small talk.:D

    She politely declined, and laughed off the embarressment. And she didn't pepper spray me which is always nice.:)

    Wow, taking your chances doing it in a pharmacy. Lord knows what prescriptions she might have been getting that could add to the embarrassment.


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,404 ✭✭✭✭Pembily


    Hazys wrote: »
    The problem for most guys is...how the fcuk do you become that confident :confused:
    It's more an act. I know a lot of guys who act that confident but truly aren't! If you act confident no one will know you're not.




  • Pembily wrote: »
    It's more an act. I know a lot of guys who act that confident but truly aren't! If you act confident no one will know you're not.

    Plus they are with friends and know they are being filmed - I'm presuming they knew the camera man. Take away the camera, take away the friends and put them somewhere they're not familiar, would they be as confident?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Red Hand


    Wow, taking your chances doing it in a pharmacy. Lord knows what prescriptions she might have been getting that could add to the embarrassment.

    I left the rash cream prescription for another pharmacy and just bought something neutral at her's.:D


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 4,643 Mod ✭✭✭✭Daisies


    Plus they are with friends and know they are being filmed - I'm presuming they knew the camera man. Take away the camera, take away the friends and put them somewhere they're not familiar, would they be as confident?

    My guess is nowhere near as confident!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,510 ✭✭✭Hazys


    Pembily wrote: »
    It's more an act. I know a lot of guys who act that confident but truly aren't! If you act confident no one will know you're not.

    Fake it, till you make it :)

    Its true a lot of people act 'confident' as a defense mechanism to cover up their insecurities and they are usually the ones who make up ridiculous stories to big themselves up, it is just an act and if you get caught up in it, you'll believe they are actually naturally confident.

    I dont believe there is anybody in the world without some level of insecurity, but there are some who are less insecure than others and most likely to be more naturally confident.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,540 ✭✭✭Giselle


    In the anonymous (:)) European capital where I live, it happens all the time. You can be sitting outside a cafe, and men (and other girls sometimes) will ask if they can join you and strike up a conversation.

    Its completely culturally normal here and just another way to make friends, but its perceived as sleazy in Ireland. I have Irish friends who have referred to the locals as sleazebags for perfectly polite behavior, but if they're approached on a night out in Ireland by guys so drunk they can barely stand, they accept that as normal.

    Chatting with someone new here is just that, and less loaded with risk and expectation, and if I bump into someone I've met this way, we would greet each other as new friends.

    Expectations are much higher in Ireland, it makes for more stress on both sides. If you met someone you'd chatted to in this context again in Ireland, all they'd remember is the rejection of more and you'd be unlikely to even acknowledge each other.

    I do understand that, but its a culture that has to have a sea change as a whole for it to become easy and normal for both sides to meet this casual way.

    Best of luck BABM, I have a feeling you'll need it. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    Walking up the main street in Ashbourne and this gorgeous girl walked by. I passed her but I stopped and ran back to her and said, "excuse me. I know this is completely out of the blue but you're very pretty and was wondering if you fancied getting some lunch".

    "Eh no thanks you weirdo" was her reply.

    Fúck it. Least I tried.


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    That_Guy wrote: »
    Walking up the main street in Ashbourne and this gorgeous girl walked by. I passed her but I stopped and ran back to her and said, "excuse me. I know this is completely out of the blue but you're very pretty and was wondering if you fancied getting some lunch".

    "Eh no thanks you weirdo" was her reply.

    Fúck it. Least I tried.

    Woah! Uncalled for. You were polite!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,399 ✭✭✭KamiKazeKitten


    It's happened to me a few times in Ireland - my favourite was probably the guy who was standing next to me at the makeup for a good five minutes before he said anything :D

    Didn't give my number to all of them, but it was always nice to be stopped and asked, I'd love if it happened more!

    ...Then again, I got chased down a street in France once by a 50 year old guy "you come back next year and we get married my princess", so be careful what you wish for :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,016 ✭✭✭Elmer Blooker


    I made some small talk with a checkout girl in a Tesco near me the other day.
    WOW........ perhaps she was having a bad day, but how someone could be so obnoxious is beyond me! Bring back the East Europeans when it comes to dealing with the public, that's what I say!


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,885 ✭✭✭✭Riskymove


    Hazys wrote: »
    Fake it, till you make it :)

    "sincerity is the most important thing in life; if you can fake that, you've got it made"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,463 ✭✭✭KTRIC


    That_Guy wrote: »
    Walking up the main street in Ashbourne and this gorgeous girl walked by. I passed her but I stopped and ran back to her and said, "excuse me. I know this is completely out of the blue but you're very pretty and was wondering if you fancied getting some lunch".

    "Eh no thanks you weirdo" was her reply.

    Fúck it. Least I tried.

    What is it with Irish women thinking everyone that shows the slightest bit of interest in them is a weirdo :rolleyes:

    I take my hat off to you though for having the balls to do that. If I was half the man I'd be sorted. Unfortunately I'm cursed with the confidence of a slightly scared field mouse.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 6,485 Mod ✭✭✭✭silvervixen84


    It's happened to me a few times over the years, most recently whilst I was waiting at a pedestrian crossing. :D I smiled and politely said no thanks.

    I say fair play to anyone who has the confidence to take a chance to approach someone they fancy. I don't have the guts to do it!


  • Registered Users Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    KTRIC wrote: »
    What is it with Irish women thinking everyone that shows the slightest bit of interest in them is a weirdo :rolleyes:

    Was talking to a female friend about this and she is always complaining that the only time guys talk to her is when they're drunk on a night out and wishes she'd meet someone a different way.

    "What if someone approached you on the street?", I asked.

    "Nah, that's weird"

    WHAT DO YOU WOMEN WANT!!! :pac:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,510 ✭✭✭Hazys


    That_Guy wrote: »
    Walking up the main street in Ashbourne and this gorgeous girl walked by. I passed her but I stopped and ran back to her and said, "excuse me. I know this is completely out of the blue but you're very pretty and was wondering if you fancied getting some lunch".

    "Eh no thanks you weirdo" was her reply.

    Fúck it. Least I tried.

    Its the same Irish culture for men and women that Giselle speaks of.

    I can imagine if my buddies and I were walking down the street and i said "hold on lads, i'm going over to chat to that cute one on the parkbench". if i failed in my pursuit, the lads would ridicule me for months. Mostly out of the fear that something like that could become the social norm and they may have to step up and do it also.

    I think Irish people are very self concious and introvert and are very afraid to step out of the social norm...probably the reason why we are terrible dressers and alcoholics lol.

    I tip my hat to ya That_Guy, fair play.


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