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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,080 ✭✭✭sheesh


    I never liked the word depression. In our house there were always negative reactions to expressing your feelings, especially if it was to do with those deep, secret emotions that are the most difficult to share with anyone.

    I always kept the negativity locked up deep inside myself, too afraid to share in case of judgement and arguments.

    Over the past number of months, it has become increasingly difficult to bottle things up. I crumbled a few days ago, called my GP to make an appointment. Usual story, no available appointments for a few days. I walked down to the surgery, with mascara down my face, said it was urgent. I saw the doctor 10 mins later. If I hadn't gone the OTT route, I would have lost the nerve to go and ask for help. It did feel good to talk about the things that destroy my spirit, the things that make my heart feel like it's about to explode, and the feelings that I have no future.

    My GP was very understanding, and non judgmental. She prescribed anti-depressants and I left feeling like this would cure me. They are really expensive though and I know I won't be able to keep taking them so now I'm back to despair.

    I don't see any way past this.

    Can anyone offer some advice?
    Well done on going to the GP and demanding to be seen ! it was exactly the right thing to do in the circumstances

    Antidepressents or any perscription medication cannot cost you more than something like €150 a month with the drug payments scheme so if you are spending more than that you can get it back. so the nut of your problem is where to get 150 from your current expenditure.

    Deal with it as you would a financial crisis if you can make cut backs in your expenditure outside of the essentials I would avoid alcohol for a while well anything more than a unit or 2 would be out.

    You could ask family for the money too you know as a loan or a payment. if you could get enough money for 6 months worth of tablets it would have an good effect.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Hope everyones doing ok at the moment :) I'm ok, trying(and failing right now) to beat my ten month streak. A year :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    sheesh wrote: »
    Well done on going to the GP and demanding to be seen ! it was exactly the right thing to do in the circumstances

    Antidepressents or any perscription medication cannot cost you more than something like €150 a month with the drug payments scheme so if you are spending more than that you can get it back. so the nut of your problem is where to get 150 from your current expenditure.

    Deal with it as you would a financial crisis if you can make cut backs in your expenditure outside of the essentials I would avoid alcohol for a while well anything more than a unit or 2 would be out.

    You could ask family for the money too you know as a loan or a payment. if you could get enough money for 6 months worth of tablets it would have an good effect.

    Well, for example, I got a 30 day supply of 20mg of Prozac today and it was around €14. The maximum dose for depression is 80mg, so the absolute most I could pay for Prozac a month in my pharmacy would be €56. Not that it matters, my mood stabiliser and antipsychotic already max out my DPS.

    And as far as I'm aware they're cheaper antidepressants than Prozac out there these days.


  • Posts: 0 Macy Shy Twin


    I was getting a months supply of Lexapro 10mg for about €40 a month.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,515 ✭✭✭LH Pathe


    And I started to cry

    which started the whole world laughing

    oh if I could just see

    that the joke was on me


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  • Registered Users Posts: 27,564 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Im seeing a therapist now and I have to say he is excellent. It was worth actually doing a bit of research and finding one that was good for me.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Not everyone reads the thread in LTI so here: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/social-support-is-critical-for-depression-recovery/

    It's an article about the importance of social support in depression. Preferably real life support but internet based or listening services such as the Samaritans etc can be a good substitute.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,838 ✭✭✭midlandsmissus


    Can't believe I'm up at 5 O' clock. Must be the ould depression!


    Thanks for the link nesf, all resources help.


  • Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    This thread attracted my sisters attention and she approached me today about it. I'm doing great, I'm really in a good place but she asked me to contemplate counselling and I heard all the excuses and rationalisations come out of my mouth and the sentiment of "oh yeah, counselling is great... but its not for *me*...". I went through the whole thing of "I dont need counselling, thats for other people, thats really *serious* stuff". You know what, when I come back from my trip maybe I will go and give someone a shot at helping me out with this labourious work I always have to do, that I have always had to do myself.

    Yeah, you know what, I dont even mow my own freakin' lawn cos I employ someone to do it for me... I'm *that* lazy. But have someone help me tidy up my mental space? fnnuuuunnnck that!!

    So yeah, when I'm back from my travels, someone else can help with the heavy lifting. I'm tired of it. :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    When are you back from your trip? Just so we can remind ya :)


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    When are you back from your trip? Just so we can remind ya :)

    Seconded! I'll be bugging ye, DeV. :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Oh I never updated my own ongoing saga (:o) in here. well nothing major to report, only I was told by my psych that yeah i'll be waiting months more for talk therapy for free. I got sick of it one day and said **** it i'll just have to use my savings and pay for it. so i made an appointment, had it on tuesday, for CBT. I'm hoping it will really do me good.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,933 ✭✭✭Logical Fallacy


    CBT pretty much saved my life...hope you have success with it. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Oh I never updated my own ongoing saga (:o) in here. well nothing major to report, only I was told by my psych that yeah i'll be waiting months more for talk therapy for free. I got sick of it one day and said **** it i'll just have to use my savings and pay for it. so i made an appointment, had it on tuesday, for CBT. I'm hoping it will really do me good.

    Well done you! :) I have the fingers and toes crossed for you. IMO, CBT is the best type of counselling as it doesn't just rehash the same things that have made you miserable over and over but gives you a new way to think about things and deal with stuff. Best of luck to you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,933 ✭✭✭Logical Fallacy


    Actually, i might as well say this here to cement the concept...I've started a quite ambitious project to help out an Irish mental health charity. Over Christmas i was thinking a lot about the last 2 years of my life and how lucky i am to have my family,friends and fiance to help me out. It struck me that not everyone is in that situation so i should try and help them.

    Got in touch with some people i know about offering something to the project and it's grown, within a week, to be a huge thing. It really drove home to me how many people have their lives affected either directly or indirectly by mental health issues.

    It also kind of proved to me an old belief i had that if you want to feel better about the world then do something for charity...you tend to see the very best of people.


  • Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    I leave tomorrow morning. Bangkok, Phuket, Siem Reap, Hanoi, Hongkong, Shanghai and Beijing. I'm like a kid on Christmas eve. Back on the 15th of March. I'll be tweeting pics and writing on my blog (@devore and www.containstracesofnut.com)


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    CDfm wrote: »
    Happy Friday everyone. Just had some might fine chocolate brioche.
    The Aldi one? Coz that's some fine stuff alright, the dearer one that is, with the choccy bits... Mmmm...


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro


    DeVore wrote: »
    I leave tomorrow morning. Bangkok, Phuket, Siem Reap, Hanoi, Hongkong, Shanghai and Beijing. I'm like a kid on Christmas eve. Back on the 15th of March. I'll be tweeting pics and writing on my blog (@devore and www.containstracesofnut.com)
    Just been checking out your blog and in particular, your jigsaw story, and just gotta tell you I did the same thing. Huge puzzle, except I misplaced the box somehow. It was a 5000 piece monster depicting Pieter Breughel's painting 'Childrens Games', which, like you, I eventually conquered. I glued it on to a sheet of ply and it now hangs on the wall in my parents' house. I could've looked up the picture but I kinda liked the challenge. Have a great time and be well ;)
    I bookmarked your link so I can check in on it from time to time, looks interesting.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,705 ✭✭✭Johro




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,144 ✭✭✭✭Cicero


    CDfm wrote: »
    Happy Friday everyone. Just had some might fine chocolate brioche.

    Yea..the French do some things well...don't they...:p


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 287 ✭✭Brokentime


    DeVore wrote: »
    I leave tomorrow morning. Bangkok, Phuket, Siem Reap, Hanoi, Hongkong, Shanghai and Beijing. I'm like a kid on Christmas eve. Back on the 15th of March. I'll be tweeting pics and writing on my blog (@devore and www.containstracesofnut.com)

    I live in Shanghai. If you get here in early March, I should have some free time to show you around a bit. Expect to get drunk, very drunk


  • Registered Users Posts: 290 ✭✭rebel without a clue


    anyone see sinead o'connor on the graham norton show? that song is brilliant, she sang it really well, it was like an emotional release for me, i feckin bauled cryin after it. the words to it or something............


  • Registered Users Posts: 127 ✭✭Jane Eyre


    I have to say that this is the nicest thread in all of the Boards universe. I like the supportive atmosphere. Keep up the good work everyone.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43 The Mollusc


    I've read through this whole thread and it really helps as I was diagnosed with depression quite recently and I can relate to a lot of what is said in here. Thoroughly agree that depression seems to be a taboo subject in Ireland!


  • Registered Users Posts: 43,274 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    K-9 wrote: »
    This thread is a great resource for information, help and advice. Fantastic read.

    I've suffered for about 7/8 years now seriously but being honest maybe 20 years now on and off, but most times I could cope and get on with it, I'd a very understanding boss as well who can empathise which took a lot of the pressure work wise of. I've come around in recent months to the idea that I need to make on big change and loads of small changes in my life to help. I haven't really done anything about it though which has made things worse the last couple of weeks.

    First thing in the New Year I have to move location as I'm very isolated where I am. Everything was always geared around my son but recently my depression has started to effect him and things can't go on like that. The change will mean seeing less of him but hopefully it should mean more "quality time" (I hate that phrase) with him instead of wasting loads of time, we get on fantastic, similar tastes in things and I don't want to look back in a few years looking at the waste of time and chances.

    He used to be the reason I fought, went through tough times before when his Mam wouldn't let me see him for vindictive reasons, courts etc. but I always got to see him because she knew deep down it was doing him harm. Gave me a reason to fight though.

    Now though the depression is effecting him, the first time I've let that happen and it's a serious wake up call. Before seeing him was the reason I got through and "bucked up", even that doesn't seem to work anymore.

    Seeing less of him is the emotional pull though which will happen if I move and the depression feeds of that and the indecisiveness, in so many ways it becomes a viscious circle.

    Logically I know the move will help. There'll be more things to do and more people around me, more opportunities like evening courses, more social outlets etc. like people have mentioned on this thread. Just a matter of availing of them and getting busy again, but that's for another day. Me having other things in my life going on will help him as in my current state I'm not of much use to him.

    Again, the stories here are inspirational. I know it'll probably be there at some stage or level for a long, long time but I have to get a grip on it or I'm at risk of losing the most important thing in my life and if that happens, well the tears I have now will be a trickle compared to then and I'm not letting that happen.

    Quoting myself, oh the vanity!

    Well I've made the big move, all 10 miles of it, but seeing as I don't drive, not isolated anymore, everything within a 10 minute walk at most, 2 minutes in a lazy mood! ;) No excuse for not getting out of the house.

    Young lad is loving the change, cinema a 10 minute walk and we watched the Muppets on Saturday. (Great piss take of modern nicey, nicey movies) He loves having everything so handy and when he asks me "what will we do next time I'm over" no excuses. Even a 5 minute walk to get out of the house will do. He's a great young lad, easily pleased, all he wants is to watch Fr. Ted, Dr. Who and the new target, the Fawlty Towers box set!

    Should be able to visit one evening during the week with no real bothers and that was my worry.

    Sister is nearby and full of ideas and plans! God bless! Heart is in the right place but I keep telling her, one step at a time, not trying to take over the world in Pinkey and the Brain style just yet.

    It's funny, she'd be very familiar with alcoholics but it seems to me Alcoholics get a pass on recovery, depression less so. I suppose its a sign a recovering Alcoholic is a pretty normal person these days in Ireland, people still haven't got their head around a depressed person trying to recover, though many similarities.

    Maybe it's an alcoholic is a physical thing, people can see the cause, they can't with depression.

    Anyway, a few targets in my mind, need to set the next achievable target. A big step made, the small steps could be the hardest, so many to pick from.

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    I've been doing generally better the past few weeks, shamefully because I've been seeing someone. still a week to go till my second CBT session.

    been down all evening. i see tomorrow starting with a major struggle to get out of bed. but oddly enough I seem to still be sub consciously telling myself I don't want to be like that, and I'm thinking I will force myself out for my jog. it all remains to be seen though.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    What kinda scares me a fair bit is how this condition has effected my time with those I love. When I see my mam, the only one who has truly engaged with this despite the amount of tension that has come out of it, there tends to be that underlying reality of my depression and how it limits me to truly be happy and spend time well together. I fear that I may look back and regret not being able to show my appreciation and share times that meant something. When I'm away from my loved ones I can only think about crying beside them, when Im with them I am somewhat numb. Its been over 3 years since I fell into this.

    I get nightmares about my brother and mother and awful things happening causing me to wake up in a state of utter dread, regretting that I never showed them how much they mean to me. I have nightmares about being left behind by old school mates, about being alone. Nightmares where I'm smiling just to compromise with those I seek to be wanted by, its now become so engrained in me. Dreams of school and how I used to try and carry myself in a nonchalant way to seem unaffected at being a bit part player in the whole experience. All those years, unreal.

    Does anyone feel at night they wanna cry out of sheer bewilderment of how alone and desperate they feel? Every night I lie down alone and feel numbed by sadness at how things have come to be. I struggle to sleep with hesitation of what my dreams will bring. Every now and then I break out of the lull and feel a surge of sorrow at the heavy, solid reality of how I've ended up, the sheer truth of it can be a hard pill to swallow.

    I dont think I've ever felt any healing or catharsis in talking to anyone about this. I keep thinking that when this and that happens it will be all fine etc. But as time has gone on I'm beginning to wonder. All hear is conflict and contention about every avenue I can choose from causing me more bewilderment as to what I should next. I hear people talking about this problem in all different manners but for whatever reason I still feel very disconnected from their sentiments. It seems people are either limited in their words or perhaps dont have clue of the depths of depression. Certainly its a very obscure dilemma and my heart goes out to those who have had no choice but to look inside this kind of wound, the families and sufferers, its a unique experience.

    When I see people and friends laughing and "getting on with life", there really is nothing like it, its so damaging and puts you right back in your place. I can begin to see that a lot of people I've known seem a bit at odds with me despite me putting up the best façade I can. I'm not ignored but any potential for growth and developing a friendships/relationships is entirely redundant. People dont gravitate to me, people find me somewhat flat, unenthusiastic, apathetic, almost as though its a choice.

    The reality is I do have a sense of humour, I have a wealth of understanding of the human condition, I have loved, I recognize beauty in things, there are instances where I feel more than alive. I only say this cuz I sometimes I get the impression that folks think that those who suffer with condition have no inner landscape other than "everything sucks, meh", that we are empty vessels. That we are choosing to live life from a shaded distance.


  • Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    GuitarZero, can't write much cos I'm on an iPad while travelling but I had to write to say this:
    Does anyone feel at night they wanna cry out of sheer bewilderment of how alone and desperate they feel.

    Absolutely. And what's worse is that people in my daily life think I'm tough as nails and have everything sorted and some nights I would just lie there without any idea how I could come back to the surface and not suffocate.

    I call it "wallowing", mostly because I don't have the right vocabulary for this thing... :)

    What I've learned is that there is no bottom to that pit. I used to think at somehow I would have this release and that would be better for me and clean out the system but there was never a "bounce" for me. The more I wallowed the more I wouldn't see any reason not to go deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole.

    I've learned that you have to fight, fight from the first minute, fight the hobgoblin, fight the negative spiral. Don't go there because there is NOTHING there for you. No great insight, no release, no peace, just endless descent. At least for me that's how it is.

    You can change all of this, you think you can't but you can. I had the same ing happen to me about my folks and how I hadn't told them how much they meant to me. The phone rang at 11pm and it said "Home". That scared be cos my folks are out cold by 10pm so I got a start and thought "omg, it's my dad, it's *that* call". I was nearly frantic when I answered to find it was my mum just calling to ask me something after a night out.

    The next week I took them for dinner and in the middle of it I just blurted out how much I respected how much they had done for me in my life. I just opened my gob and said the words. I just reached into my pants, grabbed a handful, took a deep breath and told the people I love more than anything that I appreciated everything they had done for me. They were a bit taken aback because it came out of nowhere but my father, usually a fairly unemotional Dub, looked prouder then I've seen him in a long time.

    So, pick a day, stick it in your head, arrange to meet and just tell them. That's my advice anyway. You aren't a passenger in your own life, fight back, take charge, get up and get in the game. Believe me, I'm not being trite, I know how hard it is when you have Velcro for a back and everything seems pointless. Listen to the voice telling you you know you should do this, concentrate on it and ignore the howls from the hobgoblin. Decide to do it and then head down and get it done. You'll be thankful, I swear. Don't let this pass, don't put it off. Don't feel embarrassed, you'll make their day.


  • Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    K9, that put a great big fat stupid grin on my face today. I'm totally chuffed for you and for your son too. Much respect, much much respect that you do this for him (not to mention yourself)!

    :D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    hope everybody's coping a little better at the moment :) everybody here deserves to be happy.


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