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The Funny Side of not being straight.

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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    Those god damn effeminate gays. They create this unrealistic image we are all supposed to live up to.

    Suddenly I'm expected to shop, know about handbags, wear clean clothes and colour co-ordinate my outfits!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Killer Pigeon


    floggg wrote: »
    Those god damn effeminate gays. They create this unrealistic image we are all supposed to live up to.

    Suddenly I'm expected to shop, know about handbags, wear clean clothes and colour co-ordinate my outfits!

    I never understood why some gay guys have a lisp and very effeminate voices. It's an immediate turn off for me.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    I never understood why some gay guys have a lisp and very effeminate voices. It's an immediate turn off for me.

    I'm not being anti-effeminate-gays here, but I was always curious...you know that distinctive 'gay' accent that effeminate guys have? Did they always speak like that or when they came out/realised they were gay did they start speaking like that?

    Not trying to be offensive or anything as I have no problem with 'stereotypical' gays, I just think the whole accent thing is interesting!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Killer Pigeon


    I'm not being anti-effeminate-gays here, but I was always curious...you know that distinctive 'gay' accent that effeminate guys have? Did they always speak like that or when they came out/realised they were gay did they start speaking like that?

    Not trying to be offensive or anything as I have no problem with 'stereotypical' gays, I just think the whole accent thing is interesting!

    Here's an experiment. Record an effeminate gay guy talking. Put it on your computer. Use sound editing software to heighten the pitch. It'll sound exactly like a girl's voice.

    Now here's what I think. Many (not all) gay guys are uncomfortable with having other guys as friends (platonic friends). Being gay I can totally understand how it's hard to hang around guys and not begin to think about sex, cue awkwardness. So instead they hang around and socialise with girls, probably from a young age, possibly from puberty onward.

    They then begin to "copy" (inadvertently) the girls' actions, including voice and general mannerism. You're not born with mannerisms and accents, these things grow on you.

    Now for the gay guys who didn't have such a feminine influence in their lives (say they were involved in sports from a younger age or went to all boys schools, etc.), they'd generally develop much of the same masculine mannerism as other straight guys.

    That's my theory anyway. For me, I think my masculinity mainly centers around being around guys most my life because I was so caught up on being a closet case - still am to an extent. It's grown on me though. I'm not interested in "feminine" things. I don't think I'd ever develop a gay "accent".

    <cue flame war>


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    floggg wrote: »
    Those god damn effeminate gays. They create this unrealistic image we are all supposed to live up to.

    Suddenly I'm expected to shop, know about handbags, wear clean clothes and colour co-ordinate my outfits!

    Pfft, try looking as butch as I do and explaining to people how you know NOTHING about cars (I am the girl asking "oh you got a new car? Cool, what colour is it?"), I despise most sports (although I was very sporty when I was younger), and that I'm actually banned from using any kind of power tools or doing even the tiniest bit of DIY. :cool:


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  • Registered Users Posts: 188 ✭✭Slang_Tang


    I never understood why some gay guys have a lisp and very effeminate voices. It's an immediate turn off for me.

    Children have lisps because of a physiological disorder. More often, lisps are used by children to get attention if they're unhappy or can result from a trauma. This can develop into adulthood. There is no research that shows a link between lisping and sexuality. What you're referring to could be an example of code-switching (see below).

    I studied linguistics, but if you were that interested, all this information could be found on Google, which is more helpful than sweeping statements.
    Here's an experiment. Record an effeminate gay guy talking. Put it on your computer. Use sound editing software to heighten the pitch. It'll sound exactly like a girl's voice.

    Now here's what I think. Many (not all) gay guys are uncomfortable with having other guys as friends (platonic friends). Being gay I can totally understand how it's hard to hang around guys and not begin to think about sex, cue awkwardness. So instead they hang around and socialise with girls, probably from a young age, possibly from puberty onward.

    They then begin to "copy" (inadvertently) the girls' actions, including voice and general mannerism. You're not born with mannerisms and accents, these things grow on you.

    Now for the gay guys who didn't have such a feminine influence in their lives (say they were involved in sports from a younger age or went to all boys schools, etc.), they'd generally develop much of the same masculine mannerism as other straight guys.

    That's my theory anyway. For me, I think my masculinity mainly centers around being around guys most my life because I was so caught up on being a closet case - still am to an extent. It's grown on me though. I'm not interested in "feminine" things. I don't think I'd ever develop a gay "accent".

    <cue flame war>

    No flame war and, to be honest, I can't figure out if this comment is a joke since it's in a light-hearted thread. Anyway, your theory is based on unfounded, clichéd assumptions. But there has been linguistic research carried out into this that you might find interesting. There are much better academic articles out there, but they're not available online without subscription.

    I'm always suspicious of gay guys who are so keen to assert that they are "masculine" and state how much they hate effeminate/camp guys. The traits we hate in others are most often what we fear people see when they look at us. It's a bit tragic, really, and much more of a turn off than a lisp.
    I'm not being anti-effeminate-gays here, but I was always curious...you know that distinctive 'gay' accent that effeminate guys have? Did they always speak like that or when they came out/realised they were gay did they start speaking like that?

    See here (the same article as above). It's not great, but it's an OK beginning.

    PS: apologies to the mods for going off-topic. It's just that a few of the comments above irked me a little.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭Coeurdepirate


    Slang_Tang wrote: »
    Children have lisps because of a physiological disorder. More often, lisps are used by children to get attention if they're unhappy or can result from a trauma. This can develop into adulthood. There is no research that shows a link between lisping and sexuality. What you're referring to could be an example of code-switching (see below).

    I studied linguistics, but if you were that interested, all this information could be found on Google, which is more helpful than sweeping statements.



    No flame war and, to be honest, I can't figure out if this comment is a joke since it's in a light-hearted thread. Anyway, your theory is based on unfounded, clichéd assumptions. But there has been linguistic research carried out into this that you might find interesting. There are much better academic articles out there, but they're not available online without subscription.

    I'm always suspicious of gay guys who are so keen to assert that they are "masculine" and state how much they hate effeminate/camp guys. The traits we hate in others are most often what we fear people see when they look at us. It's a bit tragic, really, and much more of a turn off than a lisp.



    See here (the same article as above). It's not great, but it's an OK beginning.

    PS: apologies to the mods for going off-topic. It's just that a few of the comments above irked me a little.
    Not true imo. I'm not attracted to effeminate men in the same way that I'm only attracted to Caucasian or Hispanic men. Doesn't make me homophobic, doesn't make me racist, certainly doesn't make me self-loathing.
    Although I do agree with you to an extent, those who claim to hate 'camp' people are most likely slightly self-loathing as I doubt they're homophobic if they've accepted their sexuality enough to come out.
    Just my opinion though, I'm not an expert in anything so don't come at me with scientific stuff! :P


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    From DamnYouAutocorrect

    188487.jpg

    :D:D:D:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭eaglach




  • Registered Users Posts: 251 ✭✭brian93


    During the summer my boyfriend and I went to the Phoenix park for a walk. We found a bench by the path that was positioned so that one would have to be pretty close to see us. So while kissing my eyes were open facing one way, and his were facing the opposite way. When a jogger/cyclist would come by every few minutes we would seperate, as neither of us are out and he has a strong fear of gay-bashing!

    So, I was happily sitting there kissing to my heart's content as a man walking his dog walked towards us without us noticing. Next thing, my boyfriend gets such a shock that he pushes me so that I fall off the bench. Which leads to a strange look, and fits of laughter by both of us :D


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,602 ✭✭✭Rick_


    One time I was kissing my then boyfriend in a quiet area of the street at around midnight (we left the bar we were in to do it and have some time to ourselves before rejoining our friends). We were doing something similar, looking out to make sure no-one could see us. In a moment of joy, I decided to close my eyes, and a few moments later when I opened them I saw a real intimidating looking fella walking towards us. I honestly thought he was gonna do/say something, but all he did was walk past us and say "alright lads?" with a smile on his face and carried on walking past us. Was a pleasant surprise to say the least.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    It was always a joke up in work that I was gay... Always the childish stuff and nothing too serious... So I'm really looking forward to the day when I finally do come out to all these people, just to see the reactions. That I work with some of my best friends will make it easier, cos they'll always back me up and support me anyway.

    Also, it's always been a joke that myself and three of my best friends (all male) share a house together. Often referred to as a "right nest of homosexuals down there" and so on and so forth. It might sound bad, but it's always been in a light-hearted, slagging, banter-ish nature.

    But was up in the boss's house earlier just for a cup of tea and a sandwich after work (with my best friend and another lad from work) and we were just sitting around and having the usual slagging and banter. Then this comes up:

    Boss: "Sure Daz, why don't you just come out anyway, we all know it. Sure we're amongst friends here. Sure why don't you and <best friend's name> and <other friend's names> all come up here to live with me and <work colleague's name>? Sure we can have a right nest of gayboys up here then. Fúck women. Sure we'll all have a right oul gay time and all."

    Cue laughter all around. From the other two lads just at the notion of it, and from me (thinking 'If only they knew...') and from my best friend (probably thinking the same!).

    Dear, oh dear...:o:D

    EDIT: just remembered how it came up in conversation!!! We were talking about the Real Madrid v. Barcelona game from earlier, and I mentioned about how good Cristiano Ronaldo was. My boss said something like "Yeah, but he's not even in the same league as Messi". I agree, but said that I still think Ronaldo is a brilliant player... leading to: "Fúck that, Marz... the only reason you like him is cos he's a big pretty boy and a gay icon and all that! Isn't that right..." hahahahahaha, fukken hell!!!! :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,602 ✭✭✭Rick_


    I love being in the situation with people (who don't know you're gay) who slag off gay people for one reason or another or they make some sort of sweeping generalisation about them. Twice this has happened to me now and on both occasions, once I revealed that I was gay, they just sat there staring at me in disbelief as I had completely destroyed their argument and shown them how ignorant and stupid they were being.

    These two guys were both 'friends of friends' sort of people and one of them I still talk to and have become good friends with and he has totally changed his attitude and opinions towards gay people. The other, sadly, did not and God only knows where he is now and what sort of crap he's mouthing off to people with. Ah well, you can't win 'em all.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭Coeurdepirate


    In French class today we were doing discrimination and along with racism and sexism we did homophobia. It ended up anyway in a pretty passionate debate where the teacher and most of the class expressed their disgust at the fact that civil partnerships don't give equal rights to gay people. One of my best friends (who we will call Mary) was talking about it and she said something along the lines of "It's awful how gay people don't have the same rights as normal people". Cue shocked faces, her horrified realisation and loads of awkward glances in my direction, expecting me to turn on the PC siren any minute. The teacher broke the silence by going "...bit awkward there Mary..."

    Sounds a bit boring, but it was priceless at the time! I love my French teacher :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 188 ✭✭Slang_Tang


    In French class today we were doing discrimination and along with racism and sexism we did homophobia. It ended up anyway in a pretty passionate debate where the teacher and most of the class expressed their disgust at the fact that civil partnerships don't give equal rights to gay people. One of my best friends (who we will call Mary) was talking about it and she said something along the lines of "It's awful how gay people don't have the same rights as normal people". Cue shocked faces, her horrified realisation and loads of awkward glances in my direction, expecting me to turn on the PC siren any minute. The teacher broke the silence by going "...bit awkward there Mary..."

    Sounds a bit boring, but it was priceless at the time! I love my French teacher :D

    Ha, it's an easy mistake to make. I mean, I'm gay and I did something similar. I used to work for a photographer who did a lot of weddings. Someone asked if we got any gay weddings, and I replied, "We'd like to, but we mostly do normal weddings."

    Oops. :o


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭Coeurdepirate


    Slang_Tang wrote: »
    Ha, it's an easy mistake to make. I mean, I'm gay and I did something similar. I used to work for a photographer who did a lot of weddings. Someone asked if we got any gay weddings, and I replied, "We'd like to, but we mostly do normal weddings."

    Oops. :o
    Hahahaha exactly! :D A guy in my year who I never talk to drunkenly opened up to me one night about how he's not homophobic at all etc. Anyway, whenever he'd say it it would be like "I have no problem with you being *pause* homosexual..." in case I'd take offence at the word 'gay', haha! I think everyone expects that since I'm part of a minority I'll get thick about everything but I honestly couldn't give a ****


  • Registered Users Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Aurongroove


    I don't know wither it was some sort of "titter titter, look at my tits" drink stunt, but I was out one night and this girl approached and said.

    "my boyfriend bet that if I let you kiss me, you'll buy me a drink" (or some ****, I forget the original proposition, but it was basically: I find her cute an impulsive: she gets a drink out of me for a snog or else she needs to buy her boyfriend a drink)

    I said "you don't wanna take that bet"

    "what"

    "you don;t not going to win that bet"

    <cue sad face, but with a hint that she was still in the game>
    "you don't think I'm cute"

    "no, not really, but don't take it personally, I'm gay"

    "what?"

    "I'm Homo-secs-you-al"

    <cue game-over face>


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭Coeurdepirate




    You have to love the Swedes! :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭Coeurdepirate


    2980312_460s_v1.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    ^^^^ Classic!!!:D


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭Pacifist Pigeon


    ... or even better yet, the only difference between boxers shorts and tight swimming trunks in that one cannot be worn at a public swimming pool.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,493 ✭✭✭DazMarz


    ha, this is another truism... you can wear the most revealing, leaving-nothing-to-the-imagination grape-crushers, but boxers aren't allowed...

    Some of them speedos, you can tell what religion a bloke is when he wears them!!!:p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 115 ✭✭uppishhauk


    I decided not to outright tell people i was bi but instead to not deny it if the topic were to come up
    so when one of my friends was going through a very confused stage in his sexuality the topic came up with him and i said i was bi and because the was no big reveal type thing from me, he though everyone knew except him.
    so one day i was with the usual group of friends at the usual hang out area when he come along after one of his lectures and says "its great not being the only bi guy here" to which one of the girls say "but you are the only one" he then just point to me and she just yelled "uppishhauk is bi" in surprise, everyone stopped what they were doing, went silent and looked at me for a sec and went back to what they were doing


  • Registered Users Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Aurongroove


    Priceless, It's amazing what people forget when they're put on the spot.
    Like maybe shouting out (insert name) is Bi and pointing was an odd thing to do.

    (Sorry, this story is a little longer then I first imagined, in reality it only took a few short moment, but it's one of those situational ones that are hard to concisely describe)
    My mum had two friends over, one was a woman; a longtime friend who mum knew since their school days and another was a man I've never seen before.

    I was cooking in the kitchen, and the topic of me joining the priesthood popped up for some reason (when I was younger I said I always wanted to be a priest). Anyways my mum's friend (let's call her "Mo") shouted over "You wouldn't consider joining the priesthood?"

    we had a short exchange, I said "not really, the Irish church isn't really an establishment I'd be comfortable, etc, etc"
    Then my mum said "you cant be a priest anyways 'coz you're gay" to which Mo (mildly shocked) interjected "leave the poor man alone!" (assuming my mum was trying to embarrass/insult me). Mum then said "no, he really is gay!" in a sort of assured and a "and what about it?" sort of way.
    To which I nodded and made a light hearted joke about it (sensing that these people had never encountered a real homosexual let alone a nonchalant one and that they may actually be homophobic or in disbelief, I didn't want to carry on down the pathway). Now, the interesting bit was just before my Mum and I skillfully turned the subject off of me and gay.
    I though I over heard the man at the table say something like "ahh:rolleyes:, he'll find a woman yet".

    This bugged me. More then I let on. Be weird, fine. Be homophobic, fine. But don't belittle homosexuality as some sort of "phase confused people go through". Don't assume that I will eventually see the light just like when teenagers eventually do after declaring themselves Goths, or Vegan, or Satanists for a month or two. I decided I couldn't let it stand, but that I ought to for the sake of civility.

    So I waited for the man to leave, which he did, leaving only my Mum and Mo as I cooked nearby. I knew Mo knew the man quiet well, so I though I'd do a little investigating. I had it all planned out: raise the issue, gently probe, My Mum would be my ally, she'd know when if I went too far or if anything needing careful handling. If I can get away with it, I could belittle the guy(who left)'s stupid ****ing ideas about homosexuality in front of his friend who is still here and I could let them argue over it in their own spare time.

    my entire plan instantly collapsed when I looked at the two ladies at the table and said "did that guy say that 'I'd find a woman yet'?... god bless him, he dosn't have much sense"
    My Mum looked at me sideways and with wide eyes and said "No, that was Mo who said that"
    (EMERGENCY ESCAPE, EMERGENCY ESCAPE!)



    me: "well here's hoping! :D" (leaves kitchen)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭Captain Graphite


    tumblr_lwzl8qlDLb1r6c8r5o1_500.png


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,576 ✭✭✭Coeurdepirate


    One of my best friends and I were about to have a little weed the other day and he was rolling cause I suck at it, but he was using my tobacco. I was getting really fussy about it anyway, "put back some of that tobacco! no, that's not enough! too much weed! not enough! that roach is ****!" etc etc, he just looked at me, smirked and went "Don't be so anal about everything!"


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,270 ✭✭✭Barna77


    rtaE7.png


  • Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭eaglach


    Image too big to post:

    http://i.imgur.com/nb6ik.png


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,464 ✭✭✭Doop




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  • Registered Users Posts: 42 another new one


    I'm just thinking over all the awkward and funny moments gay people must experience be it that their family doesn't quite know that they are gay and suggest suitable boys to a girl whos gay while she sits there laughing to herself at their sheer blindness to the truth etc

    Sooo...what is your most awkward/funny/cringe worthy gay moments or stories??:confused:


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