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DIY Divorces

  • 24-02-2012 1:14pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6


    Has anyone gone down the DIY divorce. It seems you can save a lot of money but I am sure it is a complex process. I was researching and found Irish Divorce Servcies ; has anyone used them ; what are your experiences of DIY divorces ?


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Hi :)


    DIY divorces are only inexpensive so long as your divorce is going to be clean cut. In other words, all issues surrounding the divorce has already been arranged, such as property divided, maintenance set in place, and access for any children arranged. You must also be living no less than 4 years apart to apply for a divorce.

    I was in a district court waiting room where a guy got chatting to me, and he said he went for one of the DIY divorces, and it was the best thing he ever did. However, he did say that there were no complications in his case, so it worked out.

    My advice to you would be to get all that sorted out before you apply for your DIY divorce :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 bulletblue


    Hi Abi
    Yes I understand the 4 year rule. I have written up a set of proposals for a non contested divorce and my ex has agreed; saying that she has agreed in the past to things and changed her mind. I still want to try this out as I am sick of both of us having wasted a lot of money on the judicial seperation; so I am interested in peoples experiences with DIY


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    bulletblue wrote: »
    Hi Abi
    Yes I understand the 4 year rule. I have written up a set of proposals for a non contested divorce and my ex has agreed; saying that she has agreed in the past to things and changed her mind. I still want to try this out as I am sick of both of us having wasted a lot of money on the judicial seperation; so I am interested in peoples experiences with DIY

    Okay, well you'll just have to put it across to her that the longer it goes on, the more time and money is wasted. Has a judicial separation been granted yet?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 bulletblue


    Abi wrote: »
    Okay, well you'll just have to put it across to her that the longer it goes on, the more time and money is wasted. Has a judicial separation been granted yet?
    Yep done and dusted 5 years now; how about you?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Pandora2


    I got my divorce, via a DIY service some 10 years after my judicial separation....there was one dependant child but no property or maintenance issues. It cost me €700. 4 or so years ago.....the ex OH told me he spent about the same on legal advice. Judge was a bit scathing of those who undertake provision of this service and laboured heavily on the issue of pensions but Divorce granted. I was very happy with the process but, I would agree you both have to be of one mind before you go next or near the courts. These people do not appear in the courtroom with you as advocates but help you to prepapre the paperwork. If the judge queries anything it is to you or your ex, so you would need to be prepared for that...in my case, I conceded rights to my ex's pension and the Judge queried my wisdom but let it go as I was sure of my position.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    bulletblue wrote: »
    Yep done and dusted 5 years now; how about you?

    Well tell her that you're going to go ahead with it, and it can't have any bumps in the road or it may be more costly in the long run.


    I'm afraid I've a messy one on my hands bullet. I ended things with my ex, it wasn't working out, but he didn't want it to end. Hes very bitter about it, and is causing as much trouble as he can. I'm in the midst of trying to get everything sorted, have a couple of court dates coming up. Once I have all that out of the way, I'm going to go down the DIY route myself :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 bulletblue


    Pandora2 wrote: »
    I got my divorce, via a DIY service some 10 years after my judicial separation....there was one dependant child but no property or maintenance issues. It cost me €700. 4 or so years ago.....the ex OH told me he spent about the same on legal advice. Judge was a bit scathing of those who undertake provision of this service and laboured heavily on the issue of pensions but Divorce granted. I was very happy with the process but, I would agree you both have to be of one mind before you go next or near the courts. These people do not appear in the courtroom with you as advocates but help you to prepapre the paperwork. If the judge queries anything it is to you or your ex, so you would need to be prepared for that...in my case, I conceded rights to my ex's pension and the Judge queried my wisdom but let it go as I was sure of my position.
    can understand the Judge offering advice when they feel that there might be a misunderstanding or a injustice but apart from that; I dont think the judges like the DIY route becuase they are part of the system and the gravy train that is divorce and seperation in Ireland; the more complex; the longer the process; the greater the division of parties; the more moeny is spent and it all feeds the system. Sorry I am sceptical but I cannot see the impartiality of judges when it comes to divorce. I believe in germany they have a coded system; which is based on clear rules; you can apply the codes and the formula to your situation and the end result is what legally either party should come out with at the end of teh divorce. There is no uncertainty or differences of interpretation. This is probably a whole new thread...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 bulletblue


    Abi wrote: »
    Well tell her that you're going to go ahead with it, and it can't have any bumps in the road or it may be more costly in the long run.


    I'm afraid I've a messy one on my hands bullet. I ended things with my ex, it wasn't working out, but he didn't want it to end. Hes very bitter about it, and is causing as much trouble as he can. I'm in the midst of trying to get everything sorted, have a couple of court dates coming up. Once I have all that out of the way, I'm going to go down the DIY route myself :)
    Sorry to hear its messy ; good luck with that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 bulletblue


    Pandora2 wrote: »
    I got my divorce, via a DIY service some 10 years after my judicial separation....there was one dependant child but no property or maintenance issues. It cost me €700. 4 or so years ago.....the ex OH told me he spent about the same on legal advice. Judge was a bit scathing of those who undertake provision of this service and laboured heavily on the issue of pensions but Divorce granted. I was very happy with the process but, I would agree you both have to be of one mind before you go next or near the courts. These people do not appear in the courtroom with you as advocates but help you to prepapre the paperwork. If the judge queries anything it is to you or your ex, so you would need to be prepared for that...in my case, I conceded rights to my ex's pension and the Judge queried my wisdom but let it go as I was sure of my position.
    btw Thanks for your reply; do you remember which DIY service you used ?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Pandora2


    bulletblue wrote: »
    btw Thanks for your reply; do you remember which DIY service you used ?

    Bound to have some paperwork somewhere but moved house in the interim and her name does not appear on any official documents ........She was a one woman show and advertised in the Tallaght Echo....had an office in Central Dublin (very small basement office)......I got her out of the paper and asked for testimonials which she happily provided. Will try and gate back with a name over the weekend:):)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Pandora2


    Jane Dorey on <mod snip> (published number) :D:D:D I Can't believe I found it that quickly!!! She is a mature lady, has been involved in couples counselling for years prior to the divorce thing becoming possible. She was great and was outside the court on the 2 days I appeared. She has my recommendation and I see she is quoting Divorce for €475 now!! Allow a few extra quid for Notary Publics...I think I spent €60 or so in incidentals as well as Jane's fees. She will also work with you on a payment plan if need be....The very best of luck!!


    Mods: I have no connection with this service, with the exception of having used the service successfully and being in a position to recommend them from my experience...Honest!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Mod Note:
    Pandora2 - I am really sorry but I have had to snip the mobile number from your last post. Publishing numbers can cause a lot of grief for the person in question.

    Thanks
    Taltos


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Pandora2


    Taltos....Many thanks.....the OP can just google her name...it's what I did...I fully appreciate your point and as you can see by my PS to you and yours (The Mods), it did give me pause for thought! I should have PM'd the info in the first place............apologies and lesson learnt:o


  • Registered Users Posts: 22 oOjimbobOo


    I done my divoce myself and it cost me €40 - and that included lunch on the day it was signed. It helped that we didnt own property or have savings, the ex was happy with everything and we had gone through Family Mediation (their mediated agreements can be included in the divorce decree) so I did it all without help. And if I can do it.........


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,898 ✭✭✭✭Ken.


    I helped my mother get divorced from my father. My mother got all the paperwork and i (I was working with my father at the time) brought the papers he needed to sign to him. The only thing he had to do was sign them in front of a Garda,priest or peace commissioner and have them counter sign to prove he'd done it of his own free will.

    My mother then took the paperwork to her solicitor and went to court where a judge okayed the whole thing. From her case being called to the judge giving the ok was 60 seconds. Whole thing cost her €300 about 7 years ago.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,419 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Do you have to prove that you are four years Separated from your spouse? are there any exceptions to this rule?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    hondasam wrote: »
    Do you have to prove that you are four years Separated from your spouse? are there any exceptions to this rule?

    I'll drop you a PM about this Sam :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 34,419 ✭✭✭✭hondasam


    Abi wrote: »
    I'll drop you a PM about this Sam :)

    Cheers pet :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 338 ✭✭snowdaze


    I am doing my divorce on my own without a solicitor or DIY company. The court clerk has been most helpful and fingers crossed it will all get done for less than €50. There is just registered post costs when you serve papers on your ex and also a commissioner for oaths will charge about €10 to sign your affidavits.
    I will let ye know if it goes as smoothly as I hope it will.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,741 ✭✭✭Piliger


    OP - I may sound cynical but ... she may agree now, but when she sits in front of her own solicitor (after being urged to by her friends and family) she may change her mind.
    I would suggest you find a good period when relations are smooth and agree to visit a joint solicitor and put some kind of written agreement in place before starting down the legal path.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 338 ✭✭snowdaze


    snowdaze wrote: »
    I am doing my divorce on my own without a solicitor or DIY company. The court clerk has been most helpful and fingers crossed it will all get done for less than €50. There is just registered post costs when you serve papers on your ex and also a commissioner for oaths will charge about €10 to sign your affidavits.
    I will let ye know if it goes as smoothly as I hope it will.


    Well, I waited the 10 days from serving notice on my ex and now I have been back to the commissioner for oaths and got the next part of the paperwork witnessed and sent in to the court (with the receipt for registered delivery attached to it).

    Went to meet the court clerk again today so he gave me a date for the divorce hearing...May 9th ...and he is emailing me the next two parts of the paperwork which I must fill in, get witnessed and serve one on the ex and post other to the court.

    Then I just wait until May 9th...take the day off work and fingers crossed all will go well.

    There was a letter I sent with the first lot of paperwork to the ex ....which he was to sign and return to say he does not contest the divorce basically...well, of course he didn't bother doing that. I understand that the judge would prefer if that was returned....but it still shouldn't hold things up.

    I am hoping that ex will not turn up at the court...and all will go well...

    Will keep ye updated with the outcome and total costs,

    Snowdaze x


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    I really hope it works out for you Snowdaze, best of luck on the 9th, you'll have to come back and tell us how you get on :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 347 ✭✭irishjay


    Abi wrote: »
    Hi :)


    DIY divorces are only inexpensive so long as your divorce is going to be clean cut. In other words, all issues surrounding the divorce has already been arranged, such as property divided, maintenance set in place, and access for any children arranged. You must also be living no less than 4 years apart to apply for a divorce.

    I was in a district court waiting room where a guy got chatting to me, and he said he went for one of the DIY divorces, and it was the best thing he ever did. However, he did say that there were no complications in his case, so it worked out.

    My advice to you would be to get all that sorted out before you apply for your DIY divorce :)

    im away four years plus and my concern is its not legaly seperated .. however ive a legal court order of paying maitenience .etc and my address is officialy changed. on the live regester etc.. any advice be great on the 4 year apart thing would be great. .


  • Registered Users Posts: 338 ✭✭snowdaze


    Abi wrote: »
    I really hope it works out for you Snowdaze, best of luck on the 9th, you'll have to come back and tell us how you get on :)

    thanks Abi - will get back to ye with the outcome:)


  • Registered Users Posts: 637 ✭✭✭Wisco


    goodluck snowdaze, I'm hoping that'll be me in the not too distant future. Keep us posted please!


  • Registered Users Posts: 338 ✭✭snowdaze


    Got a letter today from ex's new solicitor demanding a new access order be built into the divorce before he will consent to it!!! There already is an access order since the Judicial separation but it didn't work out and he hasn't kept in touch with the kids for over 2 years!
    There is more crap in the letter too but I won't bore ye!
    Just over a week until court and I suppose I was being too positive to think there would be no upset en route...
    Will keep ye updated!
    Snowdaze:)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    snowdaze wrote: »
    Got a letter today from ex's new solicitor demanding a new access order be built into the divorce before he will consent to it!!! There already is an access order since the Judicial separation but it didn't work out and he hasn't kept in touch with the kids for over 2 years!
    There is more crap in the letter too but I won't bore ye!
    Just over a week until court and I suppose I was being too positive to think there would be no upset en route...
    Will keep ye updated!
    Snowdaze:)
    Feck anyway Snowdaze, I was hoping you would be home and dry with this. What is he looking to change? :/


  • Registered Users Posts: 338 ✭✭snowdaze


    It went terribly!!!

    well - I had my day in court....long wait and got in eventually...

    My ex turned up yet he had not got an entry of appearance lodged with the court in advance...so that was the first thing that was wrong.

    He did not have a solicitor either but said he wanted one and would be applying for legal aid - judge asked him why he hadnt done this already!!!!!

    He said he was not happy to agree to divorce..he wanted access sorted out!!!! Yawn yawn...he has not seen the kids in 2 years and only responded to my letter a few weeks ago saying he wanted it when I asked if he was interested because it is something my son would like....

    It makes my blood boil.....

    It looks like that will be the end of the nice simple DIY divorce for me! It will only work for non- contested divorces. I thought because I already have the judicial separation that it would be simple...but I should not have been so naieve and thought that my ex would be co-operative!

    So- that is it for now. My ex who works on the side pays no taxes no maintenance will get legal aid and make my life hell all over again...

    not a happy bunny tonight...

    Snowdaze x


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    snowdaze wrote: »
    It went terribly!!!

    well - I had my day in court....long wait and got in eventually...

    My ex turned up yet he had not got an entry of appearance lodged with the court in advance...so that was the first thing that was wrong.

    He did not have a solicitor either but said he wanted one and would be applying for legal aid - judge asked him why he hadnt done this already!!!!!

    He said he was not happy to agree to divorce..he wanted access sorted out!!!! Yawn yawn...he has not seen the kids in 2 years and only responded to my letter a few weeks ago saying he wanted it when I asked if he was interested because it is something my son would like....

    It makes my blood boil.....

    It looks like that will be the end of the nice simple DIY divorce for me! It will only work for non- contested divorces. I thought because I already have the judicial separation that it would be simple...but I should not have been so naieve and thought that my ex would be co-operative!

    So- that is it for now. My ex who works on the side pays no taxes no maintenance will get legal aid and make my life hell all over again...

    not a happy bunny tonight...

    Snowdaze x

    Aw snowdaze, I'm so sorry to hear that it all went so wrong >.<

    I was really hoping he wouldnt throw any spanners in the works for you, and whats worse is - legal aid have a list going out the window of clients. hes going to have to get onto that straight away (unlikely) or this will never come to a close =/

    My ex keeps throwing in spanners, and like yourself it makes your blood boil. I just want to put an end to it all and get on with my life.

    You were saying you have a judicial separation? well what access was arranged at the time?

    Try not to get too disheartened over it, I've a divorce celebration to focus on, so when the bad days hit I just think - Lake Garda, glass of wine, good food - it will happen! :D

    Stay determined and as positive as you can hon :) x


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  • Registered Users Posts: 637 ✭✭✭Wisco


    Sorry to hear that Snowdaze.
    Any interactions I've had with my ex put my blood pressure up 100% too- in fact, think they must be pals- working but no tax etc while still wanted money from me :mad:
    Hopefully it will get sorted soon for you. The frustration of never getting the result you want is so disheartening.
    Unlike you, there are no kids in the picture for me, so hoping I can still do DIY route but afraid ex will still manage to muck it up somehow :(


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