Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

My boyfriend says I'm unfair for not wanting him to watch porn!!

  • 19-04-2011 4:59pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone.

    The other day I was on my bf's laptop and found a pornsite in his history (you know the way it completes websites for you when you type them in). I asked him about it and he got all defensive and we had a row.

    He knows I don't like porn. I've asked him not to watch it before. I know some women don't mine their men watching porn but I'm not one of them, and I know I'm not alone in it either. I don't like the way porn is made and how degrading it is the women but on a more personal level I also hate the idea that he's getting off to explicit images of other women. I know some people argue that it's just a fantasy but a fantasy is in your head. He's actually looking at other women and imagining having sex with them and I find that upsetting.

    Thing is, he won't see my side. When I asked him to stop he said he didn't see why he had to because he wasn't replacing me he was just having some time to himself and although I said his "time to himself" involved pretending he was with other women, he almost seemed incapable of understanding why that was upsetting. He even tried to turn the argument around and said that he'd stop watching porn when I stopped using my vibrator on my own!!! I tried to say that I don't have a problem with him masturbating because yes I do that with my toy too but the problem is that he's doing it over pictures of other women.

    How do I try and resolve this? he seems determined not to stop his porn habit and I don't think I can stay with him when I know he's continuing to do something that upsets me so much when I've asked him to stop. Am I not enough???


«13

Comments

  • #2
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    Warning to all posters: This is not a right -v- wrong debate about porn. Focus on the OP's issue.


  • #3
    Mallei
    Registered Users Posts: 144 ✭✭Mallei


    Boyfriend Troubles wrote: »
    He even tried to turn the argument around and said that he'd stop watching porn when I stopped using my vibrator on my own!!!

    This bit sticks out in my mind. He clearly does not understand how you view porn - he sees your toy as something you use to get yourself off, and looks at porn the same way for himself. You need to explain that the two are not the same thing. You use a toy because owing to the fact that you're a woman it's much harder for you to get yourself off when masturbating and the toy makes it much more enjoyable. He does not use porn for the same reason, he uses it because he likes looking at images of other women naked and that thought arouses him.

    If you put it in those terms - that you don't like that he finds images of naked women who aren't you arousing, and actually imagines he's having sex with them instead of you - and he still refuses to understand you, then you need to get rid of him. He clearly does not respect you enough to take your wishes into account.

    Either that, or "accidentally" start leaving pictures of hot naked men about the place when you've been in the house on your own, and when he asks about them say "oh yes I was imagining him inside of me earlier when I was using my toy... mmm..." :D I guarantee he'll swiftly come to see your side of the story when he's put in that position.

    It's a classic case of someone refusing to see their partner's side because they enjoy what they're doing too much to stop.


  • #4
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    OK, actual response.
    he seems determined not to stop his porn habit and I don't think I can stay with him when I know he's continuing to do something that upsets me so much when I've asked him to stop. Am I not enough???
    I don't think you're seeing porn in the same way that he is. When you see an attractive man in the street, you see him and you think, "Oh he's attractive". From your boyfriend's point of view, this is all he is doing. He's not "replacing" you with the women in the porn, he's simply aroused and using the images to enjoy that arousal.

    I'm sure you are enough for him, but you're not there all the time. Or to put it more simply; if you were there with him every time he was bored or aroused and you were willing to have sex right there, up to 2 or 3 times per day (depends on the person of course), then he would not look at porn.

    He does not view the women in porn as someone else that he wants to be with. It's titillation, no worse than a sexy woman in an ad. It's nothing to do with you, at all. Even if you were the sexiest woman on the planet, he would still use porn for this purpose when you're not available or not willing to have sex.

    But it's a personal impasse for you. And as you say, you're not alone. Your boyfriend does not see it as wrong, and will never see it as wrong. You can ask him to stop, but from his point of view you are being unreasonable and he will continue to find ever more sneaky ways to keep it hidden from you.

    That's the fact of the matter. Like a serial cheater who doesn't see any problem with cheating on a partner, your boyfriend does not and will never see anything wrong with watching porn.

    So if you consider it deeply hurtful, then I don't think you have any option except to end the relationship. He will continue to look at porn, despite your protestations, because he will never take them seriously.


  • #5
    fungun
    Registered Users Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    I dont think you should go with the "Am I not enough?" argument. Dont think that leads anywhere really.
    I know some people argue that it's just a fantasy but a fantasy is in your head. He's actually looking at other women and imagining having sex with them and I find that upsetting.

    I find this point hard to understand. So you are saying its ok to fantasise about having sex with someone else, but just not look at a picture of them when you do it??? Sounds like a thin line placed just where you want it to me, esp since men are much more visually aroused. Also note that not all men who look at porn are 'imagining themselves having sex' with that person explicitly

    I think the point to focus on is that it really upsets you. And in a reln its give and take and he at a minimum needs to recognise that it upsets you and go from there. But if he says in return that he gets upset by you using your vibrator and the fact that you fantasise when doing it (assuming you do from your post), would you be willing to stop that for him if he genuinely didnt like it??

    Dont think you can ask him to stop unless you are willing to. And I think the difference between the two acts is very small....enough for you to justify that what you are doing is ok but what he is doing is not.


  • #6
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    Boyfriend Troubles wrote: »
    He's actually looking at other women and imagining having sex with them .

    Has he actually said this, or are you assuming it? I can't say I've never looked at porn, but I can say I've never fantasised about being with anyone I've seen in porn, I still only ever want my partner.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    Unfortunately, OP, I don't think you'll find much support here. Any time a similar issue comes up, everyone and their grandmother comes rushing in to tell the OP they're being unreasonable and that it's completely natural and you're a prude for not understanding how men work, or some other similar remark.

    But I completely get where you're coming from. "Am I not enough?" - you have no idea how many times I've thought that. I don't understand why men require porn; I certainly don't need it to get off. I don't care about them masturbating or fantasizing as everyone does it, but imo it is not a basic human right to view porn and it is not something that has to take place in a committed relationship. I, personally, find it pretty disrespectful.

    I don't think a lot of men really understand how psychologically degrading it can feel to people like us who aren't comfortable with the idea, to know that your OH is there banging away at himself to pictures of incredibly gorgeous women who look nothing like you and who will do things you'll probably never do. You wonder why he can't just be happy with you, as you presumably are with him; you wonder why he HAS to have these other women to use for sexual gratification and why he can't just, out of respect for his partner, keep it in his head; you wonder if he wants you to be like them, if he wants to use you the way he uses them. You wonder why he fights like a dog for the right to keep looking at these pictures without giving a damn how insignificant they can make you feel.

    There's also the nagging thought about what it means in regards to how he views women, depending on the type of porn he's watching, but I won't bother getting into it here.

    Whatever everyone else will inevitably say, you are not alone and you're not strange or a prude for feeling this way. I don't know why everyone's been conditioned to think men have a right to porn while in a relationship and that it should not be something that should affect you, but them's the breaks. In 2011, porn is now a human right, and you're going to be incredibly hard pressed to find any man who will give it up or ever think only you are enough. We just have to suck it up and put it in the back of our heads and pretend it doesn't happen if we don't like it.

    Sorry I couldn't tell you anything better, but I mean, what can you do?


  • #8
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Hey OP,

    There is no magic line we can give you that is going to convince you that porn can be as much of a masturbatory aid to men as a vibrator can be to women and neither is there some magic argument that can be given to your boyfriend to convince him that pornography is completely unacceptable, because of course it isn't...its unacceptable to you and with regards to the boundaries you hold for your relationships - and therein lies the problem.

    If you view porn as completely unacceptable and he views it as completely normal then you have stale-mate. If you want your relationship to succeed you are going to have to keep talking about it and either come to an understanding which is mutually acceptable or part ways.

    All the best.


  • #9
    Hazys
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,510 ✭✭✭Hazys


    You are saying he's not taking your points and feelings on board and being unfair but are you taking his points and feelings on board and being fair? Its seems you are disregarding his points as much as he is disregarding yours.


    Also keep in mind your boyfriend is doing what the vast majority of guys do in a relationship and dont consider it cheating or an escape from a relationship and what most people would consider normal.


  • #10
    Mallei
    Registered Users Posts: 144 ✭✭Mallei


    fungun wrote: »
    Dont think you can ask him to stop unless you are willing to. And I think the difference between the two acts is very small....enough for you to justify that what you are doing is ok but what he is doing is not.

    Sorry, but that's simply not true. Watching porn is not equivalent to using a toy. The OP already said that she doesn't mind him just masturbating on his own. I can assure you that a lot of women when they use their toys imagine their partner with them, but owing to a lot of factors they get their best orgasms from the toy and so use that on occasion.

    Surely if you don't see the difference then you could go the other way and say there's a fine line between getting yourself off by looking at images of naked women and imagining you're with them, and then actually going and getting with other women? It's not true, of course, but they're just as similar.


  • #11
    seenitall
    Registered Users Posts: 3,702 ✭✭✭seenitall


    I'll make it short and to the point:

    end the relationship now, because whichever way you cut it here, someone is going to end up feeling short-changed at best, or, via the highways and by-ways of resentment, like an evasive siht at worst, so it isn't fair on either of you.

    Aim to find a religious or at least a conservative-leaning guy for yourself in the future, I think there will be more of a compatibility fit for you with one of those (although I may be very naive about that! :D).

    Best wishes.


  • Advertisement
  • #12
    S23
    Registered Users Posts: 526 ✭✭✭S23


    We've had this one a million times. I'm sure a Moderator could link to some old posts. I remember an absolutely epic thread on the topic a few months back.

    Anyway as Seamus kindly warned us this isn't a right v wrong debate. It actually can't be because there is not right or wrong in this case only preference. I will add the caveat that this applies as long as the OP's boyfriend isn't accessing any child porn type sites which I'm going to assume is the case.

    The boyrfriend isn't wrong to watch porn. The OP isn't wrong to dislike porn. It's a personal preference.

    All this notion of replacement or not being enough is your own, though, OP. Until his porn habits become so extreme that he loses interest in a normal sexual relationship then he's only excercising a personal preference. Some men like to watch women with big boobs/bums/whatevers doing different things and whack off to it. It doesn't mean they don't love their wifes or OH's or anything of the sort.

    Also he's not forcing it into your face as I'm presuming you'd have mentioned it if he did. He's doing it discreetly and in his own time. It's not had an effect on your sex life since you've not said as much. I don't see what actual harm he is doing at all.

    That said you've told him you don't want him to do it and he won't stop. He has every right too, IMO, because, asi I have said before, there is not actual determenatal effect to the relationship. He doesn't have to share your views on porn and what you think (and it is only what you think OP) the 'meaning' and significance of him whacking it looking at pornstars is.

    If you're not compatible on a base level then thats just the way it is. If he doesn't want to stop he doesn't have to. If you don't want to stay with him because he won't stop you don't have to. It's as simple as that really


  • #13
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    S23 wrote: »
    We've had this one a million times. I'm sure a Moderator could link to some old posts.

    We have but linking to threads of issues other people have raised is not permitted.


  • #14
    fungun
    Registered Users Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    Mallei wrote: »
    Sorry, but that's simply not true. Watching porn is not equivalent to using a toy. The OP already said that she doesn't mind him just masturbating on his own. I can assure you that a lot of women when they use their toys imagine their partner with them, but owing to a lot of factors they get their best orgasms from the toy and so use that on occasion.

    Surely if you don't see the difference then you could go the other way and say there's a fine line between getting yourself off by looking at images of naked women and imagining you're with them, and then actually going and getting with other women? It's not true, of course, but they're just as similar.

    Thats just ridiculous. Of course actually doing being with them is way different :confused:

    I watch porn and fantasise about my partner. Is that ok? The visual stimulus just helps. Just like the vibrator helps her.

    Anyway as seamus says lets not get into a right vs wrong argument about porn - my main point was that if she expects her bf to give up sth he does that she doesnt like, she should be willing to do the same for him. So if he said he hated her fantasising about other men whilst using a vibrator then the 'am i good enough' point she is making could be made the other way also. So cant have your cake and eat it....


  • #15
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    seenitall wrote: »
    I'll make it short and to the point:

    end the relationship now, because whichever way you cut it here, someone is going to end up feeling short-changed at best, or, via the highways and by-ways of resentment, like an evasive siht at worst, so it isn't fair on either of you.

    Aim to find a religious or at least a conservative-leaning guy for yourself in the future, I think there will be more of a compatibility fit for you with one of those (although I may be very naive about that! :D).

    Best wishes.

    You don't have to be religious or conservative to feel this way about porn, in fairness. There's a multitude of very valid reasons why a person could disagree with their partner viewing porn that don't come down to prudishness or religion or conservative views. I'm an incredibly socially liberal person and find the majority of things regarding the bedroom more than acceptable - but I don't like sneaky porn in my relationships. There's alternatives.

    Hate that anyone with the OP's point of view automatically gets written off as insecure, conservative, or religious. Give me a break. There's more to the porn argument than what it does to your dick.


  • #16
    Fentdog84
    Registered Users Posts: 936 ✭✭✭Fentdog84


    If he wants to watch porn, on his laptop its kind of, in a way his own business. Porn is just an aid for masturbation nothing more or less, so its like asking him to stop masturbating when you are not around. To comprimise, Ask him not to do it when you are around/in front of you and to delete the search history when he's finished because you dont want to know anything about it and it upsets you. He needs to consider your feelings on this and if he's overtly brazen and in your face with it, you might have to dump him.


  • #17
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    OP - neither of you and yet both of you are right on this.

    Either you find a way to come to an honest compromise
    or
    You agree that this is the make/break item and you have to split.

    The reason I put in honest is a family member had this discussion with her now ex a few years ago. He swore it was all over and yet the kids years later stumbled up all of his crap - hey presto end of marriage and two messed up kids convinced it was a) their fault & b) daddy is a perv for looking at teen porn...

    We all have comfort spots - in your case it is porn - in mine it is honest - if that area is broken only you can decide if it means the end.

    Best of luck.


  • #18
    Mallei
    Registered Users Posts: 144 ✭✭Mallei


    S23 wrote: »
    Some men like to watch women with big boobs/bums/whatevers doing different things and whack off to it.

    Can you not see how this might emotionally cripple a woman? Women are brought up to see their self-worth defined by how attractive other people (in particular their partners) see them. Whatever you say about the rights or wrongs of that situation, it's the truth.

    So the find out that your boyfriend is frantically bashing away at himself over womanly assets that you do not have is so, so upsetting. I had a boyfriend who would watch porn of women with large chests when he got the chance on his own. I don't have large breasts and it was a huge blow to learn how arousing he finds them; that one of his main fantasies is something I could never fulfill.

    To put it another way, how would a man like it if his girlfriend pulled out a vibrator shaped like a ten-inch penis, thick and veiny and lifelike? Fact is, one of the main reasons they stopped making vibrators shaped like that as standard is because boyfriends, partners and husbands the world over felt so threatened.


  • #19
    seenitall
    Registered Users Posts: 3,702 ✭✭✭seenitall


    You misunderstood my post, liah. I certainly never wrote (or thought) this:
    liah wrote: »
    anyone with the OP's point of view automatically gets written off as insecure, conservative, or religious.

    However I do believe that an average religious person will be more porn-averse than an average non-religious person, what with body being "the temple of God" (if I remember correctly from my sunday school :D) etc.

    strictly talking averages and probabilities here.


  • #20
    S23
    Registered Users Posts: 526 ✭✭✭S23


    Mallei wrote: »
    Sorry, but that's simply not true. Watching porn is not equivalent to using a toy.

    You're quite correct. Using your hand and some visuals to masturbate isn't equivalent to using a (usually) large motor driven falice that maintains it's erectness, constant thrusting and pulsing motion and capacity to give constant repeated orgasms long beyond the realms of mortal men.
    liah wrote: »
    I don't think a lot of men really understand how psychologically degrading it can feel to people like us who aren't comfortable with the idea, to know that your OH is there banging away at himself to pictures of incredibly gorgeous women who look nothing like you and who will do things you'll probably never do.

    I could just as easily make the arugment that men find it psychologically degrading to be replaced by what is, in most cases, a far larger and prolific member than their own to sate their OH's sexual desires.

    Ultimately it comes down to the individual. People who can accept that some people get off just to get off and there are no replacement issues or degredation involved. And those who do not accept that this is not the case and find more to it that a base instinct being satisfied.

    Again it's just a case of compaibility/incompatibility.

    Also, sorry Ickle, I wasn't aware that linkage wasn't allowed. I was sure I've seen it before but my bad I was actually trying to be helpful :(


  • #21
    S23
    Registered Users Posts: 526 ✭✭✭S23


    Mallei wrote: »
    Can you not see how this might emotionally cripple a woman? Women are brought up to see their self-worth defined by how attractive other people (in particular their partners) see them. Whatever you say about the rights or wrongs of that situation, it's the truth.

    Woah, woah, woah there. Your issues aren't everyone elses. I know many, many, many women and I can tell you that 99% of them would be mortally offended if I suggested that to them. I never would, though, because the kind of women I'm lucky enough to know are far more intelligent and confident that to get sucked into that kind of archaic thinking.


  • Advertisement
  • #22
    Mallei
    Registered Users Posts: 144 ✭✭Mallei


    I hardly mean that they're sexual slaves, but that women far more than men are judged on their attractiveness and have to define themselves in such a way to a larger extent.

    That's not the only way they define themselves, of course, but compare the difference in female and male attitudes to dressing up to see my point. A woman needs make-up, a manicure, an expensive haircut; all things that aren't expected of men. He needs to be clean-shaven and have trimmed nails; he needs to be neat, not glamorous.

    Again, this isn't the thread for this debate, but please don't argue that women aren't judged more harshly on their appearance in general.


  • #23
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Final on-thread warning.

    This is an advice forum - this thread is for offering the OP advice. The forum rules are very clear about off-topic posting and carrying on discussions with other posters.

    If you wish a wider discussion on the more general aspects of pornography usage or have a debate about gender generalities, please take it to Humanities.


  • #24
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    seenitall wrote: »
    You misunderstood my post, liah. I certainly never wrote (or thought) this:



    However I do believe that an average religious person will be more porn-averse than an average non-religious person, what with body being "the temple of God" (if I remember correctly from my sunday school :D) etc.

    strictly talking averages and probabilities here.

    Perhaps, but I would imagine just as many have problems with the implications, the psychology involved behind its use, why it is seen as a completely non-negotiable requirement to use other people for sexual gratification while in a relationship and not simply be satisfied fantasizing, why it is just so impossible for these people to go without out of respect for the person they claim to love and whom they are upsetting, why they throw fits when they're asked not to use it without caring how it's impacting their partners, and how it reflects their opinion of their partner, among a variety of other things.

    No one's saying men shouldn't masturbate, though, by any means. The problem is why they need porn.

    As for the general vibrator vs. porn argument: Comparing it to a vibrator isn't a fair comparison - you can only really compare a vibrator to another physical sex toy. You can't compare using an object to facilitate a physical response to the viewing of actual human beings to rev your mind up in preparation by thinking about all the dirty things you'd love to do to them, unless you actually do objectify people, and that in and of itself is a bit unsettling.

    EDIT: Just to add, ask your boyfriend if he'd be willing to trade up pics of other women for pics of you, maybe take some naughty ones or something. It doesn't have to be either or - you can compromise.


  • #25
    Morgase
    Registered Users Posts: 737 ✭✭✭Morgase


    OP, which bothers you more - your boyfriend getting turned on by other women, or how a lot of porn is degrading towards women and that aspect of it?

    I'm asking you this because if it's the latter, there is more and more porn becoming made by more ethical companies. It's like they have minimum standards with regard to regular STD testing for their actors and that sort of thing. Would that help at all?

    Also, there's a lot of cartoony porn (I'm sure there's a better phrase for it, but it escapes me) out there, which would mean that it's just pure imagination and no real people involved.

    Good luck.


  • #26
    fungun
    Registered Users Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    Lets look beyond the specifics.

    Point is her bf does sth as a masturbatory aid that she does not like and wishes him to stop. Right or wrong, who cares, she wants him to stop because it upsets her. Should he/shouldnt he. Well its the age age age old 'if you loved me....' blah blah blah. Could be used either way. And he could also use the same argument in reverse about her vibrator and fantasies. Again, rightly or wrongly, lets not get into that.

    Its all about typical relationship compromise; where and how you find that balance is something that is very different reln to reln. Id argue openness and trust and not be constraining each other. Someone else could argue the opposite and it could be true for them. Only OP can work this out in terms of what works for her reln.


  • #27
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Morgase wrote: »
    OP, which bothers you more - your boyfriend getting turned on by other women, or how a lot of porn is degrading towards women and that aspect of it?

    I'm asking you this because if it's the latter, there is more and more porn becoming made by more ethical companies. It's like they have minimum standards with regard to regular STD testing for their actors and that sort of thing. Would that help at all?

    Also, there's a lot of cartoony porn (I'm sure there's a better phrase for it, but it escapes me) out there, which would mean that it's just pure imagination and no real people involved.

    Good luck.

    It's more the personal side tbh Morgase. Whilst I appreciate that some porn is now being made "ethically", I imagine it still objectifies the women. Perhaps it doesn't, I wouldn't know, but I imagine the women are still all required to have fake bodies and the "ending" still takes place on various parts of their bodies.

    But my main issue is that I do not like the thought that he is masturbating to pictures of other women flaunting their sexuality. These women are gorgeous and I could never look like that - he's basically saying that my body isn't nice enough and these other women really do it for him. Why else does he watch it? If he's just looking for physical gratification then he has a hand. I know that when I'm using my vibrator I'm thinking of him, why can't he do the same? Why does he have to imagine he's with people who aren't me?

    And I know a lot of people (mostly men it seems) will find that unreasonable, but I can't help it. I just want to know how I can get him to stop. We can't carry on like this, but I love him in every other respect.


  • #28
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users Posts: 8,237 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    I'll give the best advice I can OP, so here it goes.

    Men masturbate, it really is as simple as that. Some of us prefer a visual aid, in fact it's proven men are turned on visually. Hence why so many men watch porn, it is not because it's dirty or the such.

    I can pretty much guarantee that your partner is not fantasizing about other women, it really is nothing more than a means to climax.

    Now, if you can honestly say that while you yourself have masturbated, have never thought of anyone other than your partner, then I can understand some of your problem.

    I could also accept a major issue if he was a "Porno Creep" as in, can only climax with porn playing, but that does not seem to be the case.

    Honestly, if you love this man, and he loves you, and everything else is good in your relationship, just accept the fact he's going to have the occasional wánk, just like everyone else in the world.


  • #29
    Count Duckula
    Closed Accounts Posts: 570 ✭✭✭Count Duckula


    In fairness, Sonic, I'm a man and I have watched porn, and if you claim you're not fantasising then that's untrue. Using something as a "visual aid" is tantamount to the same thing. You're looking at pictures of naked women and that's getting you off.

    The issue here is whether the OP can handle that.

    Personally, I'd say that if it bothers you that much then you should ask him to stop. Have you maybe tried erotic fiction or something? It does less for men generally than it does for women, but for some men it still does the trick. I occasionally try my hand at writing it and whilst the stories I come up with are absolutely dire, the practice of writing out some fantasies is a very satisfying replacement for actual visual pornography.


  • #30
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    liah warned for ignoring moderator instruction.

    Please keep replies helpful to the OP and that doesn't mean carrying on a general discussion and throwing in a one liner to the OP at the end.

    Many thanks.


  • Advertisement
  • #31
    Permabear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 39,022 ✭✭✭✭Permabear


    This post has been deleted.


This discussion has been closed.
Advertisement