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Wedding gift argument, please help decide!

  • 20-04-2012 6:27pm
    #1
    CiDeRmAn
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 34,526 CMod ✭✭✭✭


    A disagreement has erupted between my wife and I concerning a wedding gift, can you help me to make the right decision?

    I'm going to a wedding in a couple of weeks, along with the better half.
    As a wedding present I offered to paint the two a picture of their choice, as they have liked my work in the past.
    They gave me a location in Malta they love and so I got to it and, some 20 hours later, have a finished picture, now I'm heading to the framers to finish it off.

    The question I have is...

    Is that enough as wedding presents go?
    For a picture this size I would normally get around €250.
    Should I get them something else along with it?
    The wife says "yes", I, on the other hand, say "No".
    The frame is going to cost €70 on top of the time spent researching and painting, not to mention the cost of the canvas.

    We are going to the full wedding, they are work colleagues of ours and are aware that I paint, albeit as an amateur, but have sold quite a number each year.

    Thanks!


Comments

  • #2
    Arciphel
    Registered Users Posts: 2,834 ✭✭✭Arciphel


    Sounds like a very thoughtful present, I would be over the moon if someone went to that kind of trouble to make a present for me.


  • #3
    Elliejo
    Registered Users Posts: 153 ✭✭Elliejo


    You offered to paint them the picture as their wedding present, they accepted that offer. In my opinion, that is the wedding present they will expect. I wouldn't see the need to give anything else.


  • #4
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    I think the painting is enough. We had relatives who did music and other things for our wedding and we did not expect any other gifts from them (and told them so!).


  • #5
    nowayjosie
    Registered Users Posts: 144 ✭✭nowayjosie


    CiDeRmAn wrote: »
    A disagreement has erupted between my wife and I concerning a wedding gift, can you help me to make the right decision?

    I'm going to a wedding in a couple of weeks, along with the better half.
    As a wedding present I offered to paint the two a picture of their choice, as they have liked my work in the past.
    They gave me a location in Malta they love and so I got to it and, some 20 hours later, have a finished picture, now I'm heading to the framers to finish it off.

    The question I have is...

    Is that enough as wedding presents go?
    For a picture this size I would normally get around €250.
    Should I get them something else along with it?
    The wife says "yes", I, on the other hand, say "No".
    The frame is going to cost €70 on top of the time spent researching and painting, not to mention the cost of the canvas.

    We are going to the full wedding, they are work colleagues of ours and are aware that I paint, albeit as an amateur, but have sold quite a number each year.

    Thanks!

    What a beautiful gift to give them, its very personal, you couldn't give them a better gift.


  • #6
    kandr10
    Registered Users Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭kandr10


    That's a wonderful idea and it sounds like you put a lot of thought and effort into it. Leave it at that!


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  • #7
    Bubblefett
    Registered Users Posts: 2,032 ✭✭✭Bubblefett


    I love people who do presents like that- it's so personal :)
    You offered to do the painting, they accepted and gave you a subject, and you're paying for the framing. Present done i'd say, adding anything else would belittle the time and effort you put into the painting.


  • #8
    CiDeRmAn
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 34,526 CMod ✭✭✭✭CiDeRmAn


    Well, it's the better half that is feeling guilty, I guess she doesn't really see the time and effort that goes into a painting because, well, she doesn't paint!
    Finally got it finished this evening, thought I'd just fix a little thing and wound up spending another three hours on it!
    Now off to the framers and I hope they like it.

    Not sure If I should run it by them first, they trust me to pick an appropriate frame but, before it's all sealed up, I'd like them to see it and make sure there isn't something about it they might want to change.
    Is it okay, do you think, to let them have a gander at it and clear me to frame it up?
    Or should I wait til the day to give it to them?
    I was actually going to give it to them before or after the wedding day as I don't want any part of their day becoming one where I'm getting any attention at all, good or otherwise over a picture.


  • #9
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,952 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    That is an amazing wedding present to give someone:) I think it is plenty.


  • #10
    Shellygoose
    Registered Users Posts: 155 ✭✭Shellygoose


    Have you been to their home? Do you know the type of artwork/photos they have displayed already? This might help you choose the frame without showing them the painting.

    I think its a wonderful present to give, as other posters said, its personal. My friend gave me a painting she had done when we moved into our house....I choose the colours for my kitchen to match the painting haha.

    My friend has offered to make us our wedding cake. She did the same for another friends wedding and she was wondering at the time if she should give another gift....we were all in agreement that no way should she get something else. She paid for the ingredients and the time it took to make and decorate aswell.


  • #11
    Greenmachine
    Registered Users Posts: 5,063 ✭✭✭Greenmachine


    Let the wife pay for the frame problem solved.


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  • #12
    CiDeRmAn
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 34,526 CMod ✭✭✭✭CiDeRmAn


    Ah, well now, in our relationship there is no "her" or "his" money, just "not my" money ;)
    But thanks for the assistance guys, happy with the response, gives me a bit of confidence in the whole business.
    Going off to get it framed, probably tomorrow if I can swing some time off the unit on my lunch break.
    An excellent framing service there in Baldoyle, Regency Frames.


  • #13
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    The painting is MORE than enough! Put it this way - time is money, that painting has taken up a ton of your time, you have put so much effort into it. There is no way you should be even considering giving them anything else on top of that.


  • #14
    CiDeRmAn
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 34,526 CMod ✭✭✭✭CiDeRmAn


    I spend far too much time in the Arcade & Retro forum, I should hang out here more often!
    Painting is finished, just a varnishing and it's done, then framer, thanks for the help.


  • #15
    paulbok
    Registered Users Posts: 4,883 ✭✭✭paulbok


    If the couple are going to be happy with the painting, then it will be more than enough, frame or no frame.
    Like another poster, we have some friends providing 'services' for the wedding, cake, music etc and we consider them to be exceptionally generous gifts (cost * effort involved) and it makes it more personal.


  • #16
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭[Deleted User]


    If i had received a beautiful present like that for my wedding i would treasure it for the rest of my life, that would be more than enough for me! if i were you id just leave it at the picture, I bet it will be the best gift they will receive!


  • #17
    James Howlett
    Registered Users Posts: 1,599 ✭✭✭James Howlett


    I'm getting married later this year, if someone painted us a videogame inspired picture as a present I think it would be better than any cash present ;)


  • #18
    Gatica
    Registered Users Posts: 3,296 ✭✭✭Gatica


    CiDeRmAn wrote: »
    I'm going to a wedding in a couple of weeks, along with the better half.
    As a wedding present I offered to paint the two a picture of their choice.

    I think that's the reason your partner wants to throw in a few bob. You painted, you gave it your time, you're framing it. She probably feels like she hasn't contributed to that gift, personally I'd probably feel that way too.
    Could she maybe put in something she thinks is appropriate herself? That way she'll feel like she contributed to the gift too. (Even though I know that as a couple the wedding gifts are usually from the both of you, this one is still very much from you).
    If you don't want attention because of your lovely painting on their wedding day, you can always wrap it and give it to the best-man who usually takes care of such details.


  • #19
    carolinespring
    Registered Users Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭carolinespring


    What a amazing perfect gift. Nothing more than a card is required to go with the gift. We got a painting by a artist friend for our wedding and it hangs with pride o our sitting room wall. We valued all the hours of work that went into making such a special gift as a reminder of our very special day.


  • #20
    poppet1
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭poppet1


    I often think that giving a second present somehow devalues the first. Your painting idea is great. Adding a gift voucher or some wine glasses would take away from it.


  • #21
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    I think that is a lovely idea

    we got a number of homemade gifts and tbh i preferred them to the standard wine glasses and towels.


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