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best scumbag story

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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,711 ✭✭✭keano_afc


    Sitting in A&E in Beaumont a week and a half ago with my sick wife at about 2am, waiting to be seen. Out walks this scumbag from the admissions section, head all bandaged up after being in a scrap. He was beign very loud and annoying, and converstaion turned to Oxegen, which was taking place that weekend. His mot was giving out about the price of tickets, when Anto went on a tirade along the lines of: " Last year Kellyer went down wih a fiver in his pockeh, hopped over a fence, robbed a tent and and went to a securo and said he wuz robbed. Yer man gave him a 3 day pass, and Kellyer went round robbin drink and food for the whole weekend, HAD AN ABSOLUTE BALL he did. I'm doing tha".

    I'm sure Mr Kelly had a great time, not so sure the unfortunate paying patrons who were subject to his larceny would agree though.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,848 ✭✭✭Andy-Pandy


    Knackers riding each other on the dart in rush hour, it does not get any better than that.


  • Registered Users Posts: 139 ✭✭TheBastard


    Was working in town up by the Phoenix park a few years back- we where doing a survey up there, any way we where around Benbulb street just across from the Barracks and everyone driving by was shouting out there car windows "bleeeeeding scumbags" "yissser a pack of pigs" so pretty quick we realised the high visability jackets we where wearing made us look like the Gardai, which i thought was funny- but the country guy with me wasnt happy, and wanted to finish asap. so after an hour of these idiots shouting abuse (i dont know how they didnt notice the Theodoilite and survey equiptment with us) we where heading off when we where stopped by a Filthy Prostitute who shouted at us and said "this is what i think of you and squated between 2 cars and had a huge ****!

    Lovely area of Dublin!


  • Posts: 2,874 ✭✭✭ Naomi Colossal Stockade


    TheBastard wrote: »
    "this is what i think of you and squated between 2 cars and had a huge ****!

    Good customer service tbh. Gives you a freebie then you pay for the full deal.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3 Helper Monkey


    Bad bastards, pissin in a beer bottle and .............
    There is one with a crack head having a cleavland steamer on the path, I was looking for it for that story above but cant find it


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,381 ✭✭✭Doom




  • Registered Users Posts: 515 ✭✭✭daithimac


    Am i the only one reading most of these stories under the presumption that the authors pronounce Car = Cor, Guys = Goys, nice = Noice.

    I have to say being from the country I find D4 heads to be usually more offensive and obnoxious than Scangers.

    I was coming home from a mates one night and passing Reynards which was closing up. Some Smartly dressed middle-aged man was standing outside with presumably with workmates and he ran behind me and and tried to kick me in the arse. He missed and brushed against my denim but I stopped and turned. he stood there blearly eyed holding his arms out saying "what" as in there is nothing you can do. I said in a normal speaking voice that "your a worthless piece of shíte not worth the effort. i then turned around and did not move. When I heard Him move again to kick I stepped to the side and caught the tools ankle and raising it up enough to land him on his back with a severe headache in the morning. I walked on from their to the sound of his friends laughter. Hope he had a "noice" few days after that between embarrassment in work and generally being a posh Scumbag cúnt


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,047 ✭✭✭Jamiekelly


    I was walking up town yesterday in me tracksuit and hoodie and I seen a midget walking down the road opposite me so I ran across the street and roundhouse kicked him in the face. The town cheered and I was the local hero! I then went back to my caravan and rode me cousin


    Did I win?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,115 ✭✭✭Pdfile


    peatcass wrote: »
    careful overheardindublin.com don't sue for copyright infringement:D


    possibly the worst site ive ever seen.... dezign wise. :rolleyes:



    great thread anyways.... ive so many storys i actually dont know where to start.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhy3HhWkgY0


  • Registered Users Posts: 903 ✭✭✭bernardo mac


    Two tracksuited Limerick scummers wandered lostlike along the canal bank on a grey February day sniffing their gluebags.One, in a solvent induced miasma staggered off course and toppled into the river,splash landing on the carcass of a drowned dog.His mate roared and reeled with laughter while the soaked druggie,plastic bag still in hand, stood waist high in the scum laden waters vomiting chips,cider and glue.Home at last.:eek::D


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,324 ✭✭✭tallus


    snyper wrote: »
    Hes not a scumbag.

    Fair play to him

    Id do the same

    I know a guy who actually shot the scummer who messed with his sister.

    Linkage here


  • Posts: 2,874 ✭✭✭ Naomi Colossal Stockade


    daithimac wrote: »
    Am i the only one reading most of these stories under the presumption that the authors pronounce Car = Cor, Guys = Goys, nice = Noice.

    I have to say being from the country I find D4 heads to be usually more offensive and obnoxious than Scangers.

    I was coming home from a mates one night and passing Reynards which was closing up. Some Smartly dressed middle-aged man was standing outside with presumably with workmates and he ran behind me and and tried to kick me in the arse. He missed and brushed against my denim but I stopped and turned. he stood there blearly eyed holding his arms out saying "what" as in there is nothing you can do. I said in a normal speaking voice that "your a worthless piece of shíte not worth the effort. i then turned around and did not move. When I heard Him move again to kick I stepped to the side and caught the tools ankle and raising it up enough to land him on his back with a severe headache in the morning. I walked on from their to the sound of his friends laughter. Hope he had a "noice" few days after that between embarrassment in work and generally being a posh Scumbag cúnt


    He's not a scumbag, just a dickhead


  • Posts: 0 ✭✭✭ Mya Cuddly Squash




    I lol'd.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,660 ✭✭✭Blitzkrieger


    she then reaches down her top, inside her bra, rummages around for a min then pulls out 2 tens

    Had something similar happen to me once. The bus of a woman in question was quite sweaty at the time too. Gave her the can of coke on the house and walked away.....
    Milky Moo wrote: »
    The shower running the country ftw.

    Is anybody else sick of this popping up everytime someone mentions scumbags or any deviation of the word.

    Eh, no. Even if we could believe the government were that naieve and incompetent, in the corporate world, that level of incompetence is criminal. Could any better word used to describe the people that turned the biggest boom in this country's history into this recession while lining their own pockets than scumbag?

    Maybe *****?


  • Registered Users Posts: 91 ✭✭KingMambo26


    civichead wrote: »
    I was on the bus a few years ago when i was doing transition year and got talking to this chap who was sitting next to me.

    Anyway as the conversation went on he started telling me how he was just out of the "Joy" and how when he was in there he used to get a piece of liver cut a slit in it and ride it, "exactly like a fanny it is" he said; Somehow i have managed to resist the urge to try it. :pac:


    Funny how that resembles a scene from "Cinema Paradiso" or one of those 1990's Italian films. The boy hears tabout the liver and decides to try it so next time mamma sends him to the butchers he takes the liver up to his room and together with his mate, they take turns in riding it before hiding it on the floor under the bed when they hear steps. Next scene, grandpa finds part of a toy in his liver steak... Ahhh those lovely days.


  • Registered Users Posts: 903 ✭✭✭bernardo mac


    Maybe one of those Italian films


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13 lonsdale


    was walking by a halting site about 10 years ago when one of the kids turned towards the main road, pulled down his trousers and took a ****e infront of lots of cars and ppl...worst part was that the ****e was white, prob due to malnutrition or something..truely disturbing...


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,097 ✭✭✭✭zuroph


    You stayed to watch?!!? :eek: :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13 lonsdale


    didnt take him too long to squeeze it out


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,284 ✭✭✭wyndham


    Silver
    A tarnished-silver or aluminum paint-like stool color characteristically results when biliary obstruction of any type (white stool) combines with gastrointestinal bleeding from any source (black stool). It can also suggest a carcinoma of the ampulla of Vater, which will result in gastrointestinal bleeding and biliary obstruction, resulting in silver stool.[5]


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 698 ✭✭✭D.R cowboy


    lonsdale wrote: »
    was walking by a halting site about 10 years ago when one of the kids turned towards the main road, pulled down his trousers and took a ****e infront of lots of cars and ppl...worst part was that the ****e was white, prob due to malnutrition or something..truely disturbing...


    white poo I am shocked:eek:
    Are you sure it wasn't dog you seen!

    we need those police in our country to sort them guys out

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2Liw_462yA


  • Registered Users Posts: 830 ✭✭✭SEANYBOY1


    DOC09UNAM wrote: »
    intersting how the locksmith knew every part of the story, even when he wasn't involved.


    AH has more imaginary posts than a forum on dreams.

    Too many people looking for "thanks".

    Too many muppets looking to find smart arse comments IMO

    PS thanks you below!


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,557 ✭✭✭GrumPy


    SEANYBOY1 wrote: »
    DOC09UNAM wrote: »
    intersting how the locksmith knew every part of the story, even when he wasn't involved.


    AH has more imaginary posts than a forum on dreams.

    Too many people looking for "thanks".[/QUOTE]

    Too many muppets looking to find smart arse comments IMO

    Broken post is broken.

    EDIT: touché


  • Registered Users Posts: 232 ✭✭nachoman


    I used to hang out with a few 'scum bags' many moons ago. One night on the way home from town on the infamous 77 the bus was packed so we were upstairs and this fella was standing, anyway did you ever hear the saying 'when you have to go you have to go!'
    Anyway this fella took this literally and went for a full bore slash down the stairs, like a river it was flowing down stairs to everyones horror on the bus:eek:

    The same fella another night while at the local service station ordered some stuff from this Paki guy and as he was getting the provosions he proceeded to relieve himself into the pay hatch. The poor Paki came back yet he wasnt finished so he continued to empty his bladder with gusto and even managed the obligatory shake at the end, needless to say he made no purchases that night or any other there after that........

    More to come................

    rofl, oh dear! :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 446 ✭✭Lillylilly


    I was walking down Talbot Street one day and just outside the Supervalu there was a couple, off the nut on heroin, complete with a child old enough to be in school in a buggy. They were having an arguement about something stupid, and the bloke turned to the girl and said "will ya **** off, ya bleedin' mutt, ya!". I still think it was one of the funniest slags I've ever heard!!

    Also, was on the bus one day and heard a heroin user draw his friend's attention to a sign on the bus for a 24 Hour Fast that was coming up for Oxfam. He goes "did you see that? The Oxfam Fast. Not like walking fast, y'know... like the food fast thing. Not like a race or anythin. It's just for the day". I was afraid I'd get my head kicked in for all the laughing!!!!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,381 ✭✭✭Doom


    lonsdale wrote: »
    was walking by a halting site about 10 years ago when one of the kids turned towards the main road, pulled down his trousers and took a ****e infront of lots of cars and ppl...worst part was that the ****e was white, prob due to malnutrition or something..truely disturbing...


    ha ha yuck! i was in shannon one day few years back, there was a couple of caravans down by smithstown, a girl of about 16 was bending down having a ****é everyone passing could see her.......eeeeeeh:eek:


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,051 ✭✭✭WallyGUFC


    Walking out of McHale Park in Castlebar after Galway getting beaten by Mayo. Strolled past the tinker camp with the auld lad. Tinker, round 10 comes out and starts screaming "HAHA Galway lost!!!"
    To which I replied "HAHA I live in a house!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,574 ✭✭✭falan


    lonsdale wrote: »
    was walking by a halting site about 10 years ago when one of the kids turned towards the main road, pulled down his trousers and took a ****e infront of lots of cars and ppl...worst part was that the ****e was white, prob due to malnutrition or something..truely disturbing...

    Thats just reminded me of something similar....


    A good few years ago, was in a waiting room when a group of the above came in..2 women, and 5 children.

    The kids were running around wild, running across seats and pulling leaflets off the wall and throwing them around the place. The two adults said nothing.

    Next thing i went into the toilet and one of them was after crapping on the floor next to the toilet bowl....Fupping disgusting.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 250 ✭✭Delicate_Dlite


    This happened this evening and I instantly thought of this thread.

    On a bus from the city centre, a 'lady' around 18-20. was talking loudly on her phone, informed her friend (and the entire bus) that she'd spent the last 4 hours drinking in a pub and asking did she sound drunk (not very to me, but experience dictates if you're asking tht question you are.:rolleyes:)

    Then gets another call from a man, during which she says she works for the hearld and has writes her own 'fun page'. Asks him does she sound drunk and then starts shouting 'She needs a piss' 'She needs a good long piss' continues for about 15-20 mins until she announces 'she's pissed her knickers'. :eek: Cue ppl moving seats away from her. Stays on bus and phone, laughing and repeating that 'she's had a piss in her knickers'.

    She got off about 10 mins later waddled to the front with her legs tightly closed. Her trousers were literally dripping!:eek:

    Not the worst I know, also I'm too tired to be concise. :rolleyes:


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  • Registered Users Posts: 17,958 ✭✭✭✭Gavin "shels"


    Scumbag boxed my mate randomly without knowing there was 6 or 7 of is and well the poor devil ended up in a bad way, not hospital bound because that's wrong but not in a good way.


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