Quality Registered User
#16

My dad was visiting my nanny one night, when she was still alive, God rest her soul.

Anyhow when he was leaving he said to her, I am off to see Michael Collins, (meaning the film).

she replied "Wont you tell him, I was asking for him".

Very sweet...


ninja, your nanny sounds great..

bronte Registered User
#17

Why do they always call the remote control 'the zapper'?

Caught my dad singing along to a pussycat dolls song on the radio...

'Dontcha wish your girlfriend was nice like meeee'

Bless.

condra Registered User
#18

I saw these 2 oul ones on the bus and one said to the other:

"Put bleedin keyboard on yer head"

AlmightyCushion Moderator
#19

bronte said:
Why do they always call the remote control 'the zapper'?


My dad calls it the buzzwhacker but then again he also calls everything else a buzzwhacker, keys, phone etc. Makes it impossible to know what he's talking about half the time.

bronte Registered User
#20

AlmightyCushion said:
My dad calls it the buzzwhacker but then again he also calls everything else a buzzwhacker, keys, phone etc. Makes it impossible to know what he's talking about half the time.


Feel your pain, recently taught the mother how to use the interweb.
Big mistake.
She signs up to every mailing list she finds and then gets excited to see if she has any emails.
Ends up with lots of spam.
Gave out to me yesterday because I wouldn't give her the pointer (mouse)



Also why is bono always pronounced bone-o??!

AlmightyCushion Moderator
#21

Ah my mum downloads every stupid program and game there is. She must have about 6 toolbars on internet explorer. It's dericulous, there's more toolbars than web page.

Doctor DooM Moderator
#22

I was once asked would I like a HIV voucher for Christmas, because I like my music.

condra Registered User
#23

Do A Barell Roll!

flanum Registered User
#24

overheard an old lad describing our trad sesh a while back as thus: "them on that guitars is fierce fast"!

I also remember my mates granny settin them orange plastic bands from bales of briquettes(before you could just rip them open) out on the pavement in front of her house as snares for "de gards"

same woman also said "if i ever catch one of youse smokin that pop, id shoot ye... sure id shoot meself"!

p.s ninjas granny should be adopted by boards, she sounds like great craic!

watna Closed Account
#25

When I was about 17 my granny asked me "was I courting". I laughed and said "Granny, no on says that any more, it's so old-fashioned. She looked at me for a second and then asked me was I shagging around. She then proceeded to laugh very loudly and my reaction!

ART6 Subscriber
#26

When faced with a blunt knife, my old dad used to say "You could ride bare-arsed to America on that and not be hurt."

DonkeyStyle \o/ Closed Account
#27

flanum said:
p.s ninjas granny should be adopted by boards, she sounds like great craic!

She sounds like a total cock-blocker tbh

monkeyfudge Registered User
#28

I heard what must be the best excuse to vote yes for the Lisbon treaty (Or Libon treaty as it seems to be known on AH) this week from an old lady.

She said she'd been on holiday to Lisbon and it was a lovely place and that they should be allowed into the EU.

i_love_toast Registered User
#29

two old ladies walking through a cemetary....they see a rat running by and one goes to the other"jaysus mary i'd hate to be buried in here,you'd be eaten alive you would!!"

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