anonymous_joe Registered User
#1

I've been trying to be friendly to my ex. It wasn't a nice breakup for either of us, seen as we were really in love.

Anyways, we had an argument, and now we're not talking... What's the best way to say sorry? I was thinking I'd leave her alone a few days before I tried anything anyway.

spurious Category Moderator
#2

I'd leave it a lot longer than a few days - in some cases it can take years.

channaigh Registered User
#3

just say a simple sorry. i'm sorry

Miss Fluff Closed Account
#4

Phone her and apologise.

Hrmmm Guest
#5

Just cool it for a while. Give it a week or two and then maybe give her a call if you think it absolutely necessary.

Toots Category Moderator
#6

Miss Fluff said:
Phone her and apologise.


Yeah, or if you really can't bring yourself to phone, send a text. Phoning would be better though.

estar Registered User
#7

be open to speaking to her if she makes an approach

but otherwise leave it

Loopy Registered User
#8

anonymous_joe said:
It wasn't a nice breakup for either of us, seen as we were really in love.



Why break up if you were really in love? Why do you feel you have to be the one to apologise?

anonymous_joe Registered User
#9

looptheloop said:
Why break up if you were really in love? Why do you feel you have to be the one to apologise?


Because she was scared I wasn't giving her enouhg attention, and I didn't tell her in time that I was changing a few things in my life.

I need to apologise cause I said some nasty things to her. It's not all my fault, but I'm less stubborn. If I'm reasonable, I hope to at least stay friends.

Loopy Registered User
#10

anonymous_joe said:
Because she was scared I wasn't giving her enouhg attention, and I didn't tell her in time that I was changing a few things in my life.

I need to apologise cause I said some nasty things to her. It's not all my fault, but I'm less stubborn. If I'm reasonable, I hope to at least stay friends.



Sounds like you guys should give it another shot IMO. In the interim, I think pick up the phone and simply apologise for saying what you did. Its a hard thing to do but it will clear the air and you won't have it hanging over you.

anonymous_joe Registered User
#11

I'll need to bypass her new boyfriend.

No-one ever said she was smart.

At this stage, friendship is what matters to me. If an opportunity for anything else were to present itself I'd take it.

Wibbs Open Account
#12

anonymous_joe said:
I'll need to bypass her new boyfriend.
Ouch.
[quote="
No-one ever said she was smart."]
No-one ever said she was smart.Or as much in love with you as you thought, or she's using this guy to get over you, or she's using this guy to make you jealous, or she's plain emotionally incontinent. Cross off where applicable. You really want that flavour of batshít around you in your life?

At this stage, friendship is what matters to me. If an opportunity for anything else were to present itself I' said:
At this stage, friendship is what matters to me. If an opportunity for anything else were to present itself I'd take it.
The latter will ruin any chance of the former. Friendzone will not get her back, though lord knows why you would want her back TBH. Plus being her friend with ulterior motives means by definition you're not her friend and you're not taking her feelings into account. You only want what you want, not what she may require(this is of course if she's not a crazy loopjob. See above).

If you must apologise wait a week. Do it once. Tell her you don't want to rake over the coals and point out that you both know what was said was wrong. Just sorry and I truly wish you the best with your new life. Put phone down.

She'll respect you more and if there is any hope that will bolster it. If not at least you weren't emotionally incontinent. Death sentence in the eyes of most women.

Havermeyer Trader Moo
#13

Don't fecking call her to apologise. If you know where she lives go to her house and say sorry to her face. Phones suck balls in my opinion. Using a phone to apologise to someone you love is an extremely cowardly act. As stated above, maybe leave it a few days/weeks, whatever you think is necessary. Sorry for being blunt (if I am being) but apologies over the phone don't cut it, imo.

Best of luck, whatever you decide to do.

John Mason Hosted Moderator
#14

Do not apolgise in by way of a phone call, email and especially not a text message.

If you really cant see her face to face send a letter, its much more personal but i would say definately say it to her face.

anonymous_joe Registered User
#15

Wibbs said:
Ouch.
Or as much in love with you as you thought, or she's using this guy to get over you, or she's using this guy to make you jealous, or she's plain emotionally incontinent. Cross off where applicable. You really want that flavour of batshít around you in your life?

The latter will ruin any chance of the former. Friendzone will not get her back, though lord knows why you would want her back TBH. Plus being her friend with ulterior motives means by definition you're not her friend and you're not taking her feelings into account. You only want what you want, not what she may require(this is of course if she's not a crazy loopjob. See above).

If you must apologise wait a week. Do it once. Tell her you don't want to rake over the coals and point out that you both know what was said was wrong. Just sorry and I truly wish you the best with your new life. Put phone down.

She'll respect you more and if there is any hope that will bolster it. If not at least you weren't emotionally incontinent. Death sentence in the eyes of most women.


Basically, if I do become her friend, then I know we'll have plenty of time to work around things.

She's not an emotional nutjob, but she's had some tough breaks, and she's slow to trust someone.

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